Open Mic, 7-12-17

I don’t want
This silence anymore
Until I get
What this moment is for
I think that fully half
Of life is gone
The only thing I have left
Is wrong
All the things I did wrong

On my birthday
All I get are e-mails
From companies
That just want to make sales
I wonder, should
It mean something to me?
I don’t know yet
Of who I am to be
Who am I to be?

I’m lonely here
But no one noticed me
My wife still calls
From deep in Tennessee
My heart is in
A big tail spin away
A garden is
Not meant for withering
It should be growing things

I want someone
To care for me
Tenderly
Be there for me
Intimately
And carefully
Tend the hurts
And share my dreams

Perhaps I’m
Too rough around the edges
And then I’ve
Fallen from too many ledges
In life
Too many regrets and
Too much to forget and
Too much left unsaid that
Led to less fulfillment

One day I’ll leave
And then there’ll be
No one to say these words
I’ll never be
Completely free
Until I’m truly heard

Lonely thirty-something man
Seeks something he can’t understand
Something he can’t really have
A love that for once really lasts
Love
Isn’t that a laugh?

But I think I’ve said
Enough today
I’ll turn around
And walk away

High Society

We’ll shop in the districts, baby
There’s no window shopping cart for me
I’ll drown you in kisses, maybe
I’ll make you see visions, probably
We’re driving my car, dangerous
My heart’s in a race it can’t complete
I’ll make you say, “Baby, yes!
I want you in first place here with me.”

We could live like kings and queens
Just imagine how perfect it would be
And I’ll be your princess,
Your lover, your mistress
High society
With a love like me
You know you’ll never need anything
And I’ll be like Christmas
Your gift wrapped in this dress
High society

I fell asleep on your heart last night
I’m reckless and passionate, it seems
There’s nothing in my life I like
But chasing after the latest things
But you’re my diamonds, baby
With you on my arm I’m sparkling
You might think I’m lying, maybe
But you are the gentleman for me

We could live like kings and queens
Just imagine how perfect it would be
And I’ll be your princess,
Your lover, your mistress
High society
With a love like me
You know you’ll never need anything
And I’ll be like Christmas
Your gift wrapped in this dress
High society

And I still want more
It’s like you opened my double doors
And what you’re waiting for
Is everything you deserved before
You and I will soar
‘Cause you’re the perfect score
I’m loving what’s in store
With you I’m never bored

We could live like kings and queens
Just imagine how perfect it would be
And I’ll be your princess,
Your lover, your mistress
High society
With a love like me
You know you’ll never need anything
And I’ll be like Christmas
Your gift wrapped in this dress
High society

 

Commentary:

I have no idea where this one came from, but it popped into my head so I wrote it down.  I was somewhat thinking of the seductive nature of a credit card, personified, but then it kind of took off from there.  I tried writing from the woman’s point of view this time, obviously a rich woman, unless perhaps that’s symbolic.  You could look at it that way.  I really wanted to write something new, since it felt like I hadn’t posted anything in awhile.  Well, thanks for reading.

Lessons of Love

I have been in love
Yes, more than once
But never found
Just what I want
It’s not in her eyes
Or in a kiss
Now I see there’s
So much more than this
Because love is not
What you can see
It’s about what you
Do really need

Yet love is strong
And I am weak
There’s so much more
For it to teach
I only hope
That I can learn
And this time find
What I deserve

It’s in her voice
And in her laugh
With her I can
Forget the past
When we talk it’s like
Time becomes lost
And nothing else
Is worth my thoughts
It’s about more than
Holding her hand
It’s knowing that
She understands

Yet love is strong
And I am weak
There’s so much more
For it to teach
I only hope
That I can learn
And this time find
What I deserve

So quietly
How love unfolds
As morning dew
Makes flowers grow
When it happens
I suppose I’ll know
And when I do
I’ll tell her so
If the stars will shine
On me this time
I know that I
Will treat her right

Yet love is strong
And I am weak
There’s so much more
For it to teach
I only hope
That I can learn
And this time find
What I deserve

The Greatest Lie

Love is a series
Of stops and starts
Till it stops your heart
Love isn’t really
What you think you’ve got
No, it’s really not
Love is a trick of
The best of you
Then the rest of you
Love is what I’m sick of
An obsession too
How it stresses you

Love is the greatest lie
Of them all
Without it no one would cry
As they fall
Love causes more problems
Than it solves
They say it’s the greatest time
But they’re wrong

Love is a liar
It says, “Listen, here’s
What you want to hear.
Nothing’s required–
Except your life
Everything inside.”
Love is an illness
It poisons you
Tells you what to do
Wish I could kill it
That’s why I’m going to
Be avoiding you

Love is the greatest lie
Of them all
Without it no one would cry
As they fall
Love causes more problems
Than it solves
They say it’s the greatest time
But they’re wrong

Why do I keep coming back to you
When I don’t have the right attitude?
I won’t believe the sweet platitudes
My heart is still chasing after you
I’d rather meet love with my head
So I see the dangers ahead
But all of that’s supposed to be gone
From now on

Love is the greatest lie
Of them all
Without it no one would cry
As they fall
Love causes more problems
Than it solves
They say it’s the greatest time
But they’re wrong

Junk Mail

I’m done with the day
Then I see your name
When I open the mailbox
And it’s back again
Like it was the same
It’s not like I really forgot
My heart is in shreds
And our love is dead
And yet here this envelope torments me
You’re still in my head
The words that you said
But I don’t think you could forgive me
And you decided to set sail
You should have taken all your mail

I almost
Want to forward
Your junk mail
To you
I know it’s
Not a problem
It’s something
To do
I almost
Want to forward
Your junk mail
To you

It gathers in piles
It has for awhile
I guess they never got the message
My heart would go wild
When I saw your smile
And even now I don’t regret it
You changed up the story
Now your territory
Is all uprooted and everywhere
Put yourself before me
And then you destroy me
But maybe in hindsight it’s fair
And you decided to set sail
Without you these walls feel like jail

I almost
Want to forward
Your junk mail
To you
I know it’s
Not a problem
It’s something
To do
I almost
Want to forward
Your junk mail
To you

It’s moments like these that I fail
How love can burn down to the tiniest detail
Why couldn’t they just send e-mail
Instead of leaving me this brokenhearted trail?

I almost
Want to forward
Your junk mail
To you
I know it’s
Not a problem
It’s something
To do
I almost
Want to forward
Your junk mail
To you
To you
To you
I want to forward it
To you
To you
I’d forward your junk mail

 

B.A.S.S. (Bracelets, Armor, Sword and Shield) – inspired by Wonder Woman (2017)

Step to the mic
Sword and shield
The battle will not be fair
So never yield
Great power concealed
In twin bracelets
They never break
So there won’t be replacements
Can’t trust in men
We’ll stay safer here
Never let ’em in
That rule is very clear
Like our water
Keep the isle in order
A man washes up on the shore–
On our borders
Bringing news
Of a Great War
Mankind in danger
Like never before
Only the worthy can
Take the sword
Like Excalibur
One woman has the talent for it

Bracelets
Armor
Sword and Shield
June 2nd
Wonder Woman will be revealed
Waited
So long
Finally it’s real
June 2nd
Wonder Woman will be revealed

Sweep the leg
Like karate, kid
In slow motion
Drop you with a body kick
I stop bullets
With the flick of a wrist
Twice as good so that
No one else is questioning this
So raise your fists
It’s too late for mansplaining
And when the fight ends
It’s Wonder Woman remaining
Relentless
And every night I’m training
A warrior’s gift
Comes from pain that I’m gaining
Achieve mastery
Prevent all catastrophe
Gods in the heavens
And below still mad at me
I take haters
And I’m ready for more
All these keyboard warriors
Aren’t ready for war

Bracelets
Armor
Sword and Shield
June 2nd
Wonder Woman will be revealed
Waited
So long
Finally it’s real
June 2nd
Wonder Woman will be revealed

On June 2nd
I’ll provide the proof
So trust that what I do
Is not decided by you
Hanging my head
At how low they stoop
I disprove you fools
With the Lasso of Truth
Looking like I found
Fountains of youth
‘Cause I’m timeless
Haters realizing I’m finest
Walked away from
A century of horrors
School of Hard Knocks
I graduated with honors
And even scholars
Tell stories so fake
I would know–I was there
I spotted all the mistakes
Man made a world
Where we’re divided
When the foe arrives
They’ll find us united
Before that
It all starts with me
Wonder Woman leads the charge
To the victory
Shall we?

Bracelets
Armor
Sword and Shield
June 2nd
Wonder Woman will be revealed
Waited
So long
Finally it’s real
June 2nd
Wonder Woman will be revealed

My Last Life

On our summer breeze
Love is sweet for you and me
In everything I please you
And every day I need you
Loving you is treasure
Joyful beyond measure
I don’t want to see
A world where you can’t be
With you my life is better
Like water in the desert

I’ll spend my last sunset
With you
I’ll have no regrets
I choose
To spend my last life here
With you

In the winter storms you’re
The one who keeps me warmer
When you hold me closer
The time, it goes much slower
And our love grows stronger
Even with our faults or
Arguments we lost and
Even with the problems
With you life is simple
You give so much to live for

I’ll spend my last sunset
With you
I’ll have no regrets
I choose
To spend my last life here
With you

No matter the season
Or the reason
Your love, it keeps pleasing
You make me believe with
Just a little squeeze and
You make my heart keep on beating
I feel like I’m dreaming
And you’re all I’m seeking
I promise I’ll never be leaving
You
What I wouldn’t
Do

I’ll spend my last sunset
With you
I’ll have no regrets
I choose
To spend my last life here
With you
To spend my last life here
Will do

 

Commentary:

This song is not inspired by any real events, given that my wife left me fairly recently, but I had the idea for it, so I wrote it.  It must be nice to be loved this way.  I wish I’d loved her this way, but clearly I didn’t, or she’d still be here.

Moving right along…I see this song as a duet, perhaps with each person taking two of the lines in turn.  I’m sure someone more musically inclined could put it to music.  If anyone ever does put any of my songs to a tune, I’d love to hear it–this has always been about making the art for me, not recognition.  In the meantime, perhaps I need to learn to play an instrument…But thanks for reading.  Hope you enjoyed it.

Vanish

I awake in bed
Where you laid your head
Feeling nearly dead
From the words you said
So you’ve made it clear
You must disappear
Were you ever near?
Were you ever here?

So you vanish now
What was it about?
Was it really doubt?
Or did you just want out?
I can manage now
But the only sound
When you’re not around
Is the teardrops on the ground

Had a dream last night
That he loved you right
That’s the reason why
You are by his side
I don’t know the truth
I never had proof
Of the things you do
I feel like a fool

So you vanish now
What was it about?
Was it really doubt?
Or did you just want out?
I can manage now
But the only sound
When you’re not around
Is the teardrops on the ground

You just
Go like
A ghost
In the night
I think
It’s not right
But so what?
It’s your life
You wanted
More than me
Don’t make us
Enemies
We were once
Family
And this is
Our ending
So be it
Turn your back
Do your
Disappearing act

So you vanish now
What was it about?
Was it really doubt?
Or did you just want out?
I can manage now
But the only sound
When you’re not around
Is the teardrops on the ground

 

 

The Battle

Most times it’s what
Life’s about
You get knocked down
Twenty rounds every bout
And the crowd
It can fill you with doubt
The pain so loud
It can feel like a shout
Raise your temperature
Break your intentions
Leave you seeing stars
Like a fifth dimension
Not to mention
The tossing and turning
Dreams so bad
Make you feel like you’re burning
And it’s sad
When you feel like you earned it
Mistakes can make you
Feel like you deserved it
And is it worth it?
So often I’ve heard that
When people hurt you
It’s natural to hurt back
But you need to
Defend from attack
Keep your guard up
Till it’s your time to act

On the ground
It can feel like a ten count
Throwing in the towel
Is not what you have been about
Can’t see
From the cuts in your eyes
And can’t flee
From all the suffering inside
Don’t know
What is real and what’s not
But don’t show
All of the fear that you’ve got
Go slow
When you’re taking your shot
Don’t roll
With all the fakes who forgot
When you lose
There’s not much to do
But you choose
If you want to quit from the bruise
When you fail
You let trials prevail
Nothing can avail you
If bumps derail you
Don’t go drinking
Instead start thinking
That if you go down
You’ll do it while you’re swinging

Any captain
Can sink with their ship
Life likes to happen
When we’re not equipped
Books can offer
A path or a tip
But applying your mind
Is the best kept gift
I never slip
From the sweat and the blood
We know how to quit
We learn not to give up
And it’s a battle, man
I won’t lie
People die when drawing up the battle plans
As for me
Not having it
There’s a peace after war
And peace is what I have to get
So will they sink me now?
Not happening
My mind is my fist
My sword, spear and javelin
And when the world’s unraveling
I take up the pen and pad
And keep battling
And while I’m not quite
Rapping yet
Life is a gift
And I’m not done wrapping it

What Is This?

I didn’t leave you here
You left me behind
High and dry
You act like I don’t need you here
But you were always on my mind
Inside
I cried for you

Tell me, what is this?
Are those the types of games you play
With me?
Tell me what good is it?
Why did you even change your name?
Oh, please

I couldn’t be with someone else
After our game of show and tell
You played me
No matter what it is I felt
Another love could never help
To save me
From what must be

Tell me, what is this?
Are those the types of games you play
With me?
Tell me what good is it?
Why did you even change your name?
Oh, please

Never imagined you’d be gone
You were unhappy, it went wrong
And as it happens it’s my fault
I had you running from these arms
How could you run off with this heart?
I didn’t practice for this part
Your face was like the perfect art
Now love is frozen, no restarts
Live every moment with these scars
No longer hoping on these stars
But love should never be this hard
When will this pain inside me stop?

Tell me, what is this?
Are those the types of games you play
With me?
Tell me what good is it?
Why did you even change your name?
Oh, please
It was too easy to leave