Never Matt Damon Again – a song

This is going to seem totally random to the uninitiated as far as the saga of “Not Matt Damon”, but that’s okay.  I’ve been working on this comedy story about a psychologist who looks just like Matt Damon, who through a series of strange coincidences and events, ends up becoming the mortal enemy of the real Matt Damon.  Any similarity to the actual Matt Damon is of course, coincidental and unintended. I’d been putting it on Twitter, but I think the episodes/scenes will migrate here, to the Atin-Fi 328th Anniversary Clone Trooper Show…

Anyway, I was batting around titles for the second and third stories, after I’m done writing “Not Matt Damon”.  “Never Matt Damon Again” came to mind, and I was reminded of that James Bond ‘Thunderball’ clone ‘Never Say Never Again’…and so I wrote a parody song with that in mind, though it’s probably just taking the chorus from that one as the music:

Never Matt Damon Again

 

A Matthew now better

Has seen

And dreamed with the stars

But Matt

Matt Damon will get him

And make sure

He’s never Matt Damon again

 

He’ll say,

“Matthew!  You think you’re so clever.

But who can act better

Than one who is paid to pretend?

I’ll get this fool

Subject him to terror

And teach him to never

Never Matt Damon again.”

Never, never Matt Damon again [x 4]

 

It’s you and I

Our destinies tethered

It’s you, the trend-setter

And me, the trained psychologist

So it’s a duel

Of mind and of mettle

That we’ll finally settle

With you in an institution

 

He’ll say,

“Matt, you!  You think you’re so clever.

Can’t keep it together

Because you’re mentally unhinged.

I’ll prove to you

That you are in error

And teach you to never

Never Matt Damon again.”

Never, never Matt Damon again [x 4]

 

I’ll take you

I’ll fake you

I’ll beat you

Defeat you

And then we’ll know

Who of us is clever

Which one is the better

The better Matt Damon will win

So soon you’ll go

Down in all the records

As the one who’s never

Never Matt Damon again!

Never, never Matt Damon again [x 6]

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