Note**: This is where the idea and story of ‘Not Matt Damon’ begins. I thought I would put the previous scenes on this blog to provide context for the scene I first posted. Everything starting here leads up to that. In this scene, we begin with Matthew Damensen (Matt Damon) and Joseph Koblinzski (John DiMaggio)…
Hospital, Therapy session 1:
Matthew: So, how are you Joseph?
Joseph [Looks at Matthew]: That’s not my name. My name is Matt Damon. Say it. Matt. Damon.
Matthew: Okay, we’re starting off on the wrong foot here. I’m Matthew, and…what’s your name?
Joseph: I’m Matt Damon.
Matthew: Okay…Hi, Matt.
Joseph: Hello, how are you?
Matthew: Okay, so…why do you believe you’re Matt Damon?
Joseph: Isn’t it obvious? Because I AM Matt Damon!
Matthew: Listen…maybe…is it possible you’re not Matt Damon, at any point in your day, do you ever think, I might not be Matt Damon?
Joseph: Do you ever think, I’m not Matthew? So why would I think I’m not Matt Damon?
Matthew: But, you don’t mean…THE Matt Damon, do you?
Joseph: There are no other Matt Damons. There is only me. Matt Damon.
Matthew: So, okay, let’s try something else. What movies were you in?
Joseph: What, you haven’t seen my movies? You’re, you’re not here for an autograph?
Matthew: I’m here to talk to you, Jo–Matt. About you.
Joseph: See, there you go again. You almost called me Joe. But I’m not–did you ever see ‘The Adjustment Bureau’? With me, Matt Damon?
Matthew [smiles]: Uh…you know, I don’t really watch a lot of movies.
Joseph: Well, you should. Why don’t we watch it now?
Matthew: Mr. Koblinzski, I’m not here to watch movies with you. I’m here to help you.
Joseph: Well, did you bring a DVD player? That’d help!
Matthew: So…let’s get off the subject of movies, then. What if I told you that you’re not Matt Damon? What would you do?
Joseph: If you can prove to me that I’m not Matt Damon, I will change my name to Joseph Koblinzski. Okay? I will change my name.
Matthew [takes out picture of Matt Damon]: Let’s look at this picture. Who is this?
Joseph: Matt Damon.
Matthew [takes out picture of Joe]: And who is this?
Joseph: Well that’s not Matt Damon.
Matthew: … This is what you look like. This is your picture. So are you Matt Damon?
Joseph: This is not what I look like. You already showed me what I look like, because I am Matt Damon. Is something wrong with you? Why would you come here and show me a picture of some guy and try to tell me I look like him? Huh? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!
Matthew: Look, we just need to calm down—
Joseph: I AM CALM! YOU LOST CONTROL! YOU DID! NOT ME!
Matthew: I’m just trying to—
Joseph: I know what you’re trying to do! It won’t work! You can’t lie to me! I know the truth! I AM MATT DAMON! I AM MATT DAMON!! AAGH!
Matthew: Okay, we’re done. Let’s get him out of here.
Joseph: AAAAGH! I AM MATT DAMON!!! I AM MATT DAMOOON!!