Not Matt Damon, Scene A-6: Mental hospital, Session 2

Matthew: Hello. How are you, Matt?

Joseph: I’m Good. Will Hunting. Get it? Ha ha ha ha!

Matthew: Yes, ha, very funny. Clever.  So um, today we’re not going to talk about Matt–whoever he is. That alright with you?

Joseph: Why are we here, then?

Matthew: I’m sorry?

Joseph: I mean, that’s fine with me, but why are we here, if we’re not going to discuss Matt Damon? I thought that’s what everyone doesn’t like about me. The whole ‘Matt Damon jealousy’ thing people have going on, I’m just–so–sick of it. You know?  People just go on and on about how Matt Damon isn’t all that great an actor, look at him–he didn’t even show up for the Oscars! He’s a real stiff, you know that? That’s what they say. Well, I’m here to tell you somethin’ different. That Matt Damon is A-OK.  You should be proud to know me, ’cause I’m Matt Damon.

Matthew: Listen, I don’t want to…stifle your expressions, but…I said we’re not going to discuss…Matt Damon today.

Joseph: Then the question remains, why are we here? Riddle me that, Matthew. Why are we here? I accept who I am. Do you accept who you are?

Matthew: This isn’t about me.

Joseph: Oh, but it is! See, you’re not Matt Damon, and it’s killing you inside, isn’t it? Yeah. It’s hurtin’ somethin’ fierce inside that soul. I can tell. I see it on everyone’s faces every single day of my life.

 Matthew [glares at Joseph coldly]:  You don’t know a thing about me.

Joseph: I know one thing. I know who you’re not. You’re not Matt Damon.

Matthew: Most people aren’t. Listen, would you just–stop with the Matt Damon talk?

Joseph: Why? Does it scare you? Does it freak you out? NAAA NOOO! Nutty, ain’t it?

Matthew [sighs]: So where do we go from here? Hmm? You want to be Matt Damon? You want to live Matt Damon’s life, wear his face, exist in his shoes? Fine. I’m going to sit here, and I’m going to let you. Let you live like Matt Damon, for a day. Or a year, however long you want. And when you’re done, and ready to change…we can talk again. I can’t help you if you’re not going to be honest here.

Joseph: Matt Damon doesn’t lie-


Joseph [finds himself shocked, and for an instant, he no longer believes he’s Matt Damon.]: I’m sorry! [He cries] I’m so sorry!

[Matthew regains his composure, realizes what he’s done, and stands to leave, saying nothing.  His face bears the guilt as he finds the Nurse outside the room.]

Matthew [to Nurse]: Uh, yes, nurse.  He’s going to need some time to adjust to…well, he’s going to need some time. Let me know if you see any changes.

Nurse: Hmph. Is he still Matt Damon?

Matthew [turns away from her, his voice cracking]: I don’t know how to answer that yet.

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