Not Matt Damon, Scene A-7: The Call Matthew Got At the Same Moment Chris Called

Emily [in voice mail:] Hey, Matt. It’s Emily. I wanted to say I’m sorry for running out on you the way I did. I know that…whatever this is all about, you have your reasons for what you’re doing. We all have our secrets. I promise, your secret is safe with me. Listen, if you ever want to get together again, maybe…just take things a little slower, call me, okay? Until then…I meant what I said. Break a leg out there, okay? [beep]

[Matthew looks away from his phone, torn between horror and depression. It seems the nightmare for him is only just beginning…Meanwhile, he must continue his work with Joseph Koblinzski…

He decides to wear a bushy goatee, acquired from a costume store, in the hopes he’ll look less like Matt Damon and avoid future bizarre encounters.]

News reporter: And in entertainment news, Actor Matt Damon goes ’70s style with a new look for his upcoming film, SuperStu.

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