Not Matt Damon, Scene B-2: The Switch Happens

[Matthew Damensen goes to work, depressed and nearly ready to submit to the mental ward. Jason encounters him as he signs in.]

Jason: Matthew? What are you doing here? You were just–I don’t—

Matthew: Jason? You alright? Why are you staring at me like that?

Jason: Matthew…if you’re here, then…who is that in the padded cell? Or if that’s Matthew…then who are you?

Matthew: Don’t do this to me. Please. I’m having enough trouble keeping it straight.

Jason: But Matthew, I think…I think the real Matt Damon is here.

Matthew [stares at Jason]: You know what? I get it. You’re pranking me, for the other day. Right?

Jason: No, I’m serious! Dead serious.

Matthew [has a change of heart about checking himself in]: Listen, I need to get myself settled in. I’ve got work to do.

Jason: Matthew, we need to…figure this out. Matt Damon–the real Matt Damon–is here, now.

Matthew:   Look, don’t panic, just…let me handle it. Okay? Alright?

Jason: Alright. Matthew…be careful. I’m not sure why he’s here.

[Matthew goes to his office and opens his files. The lights go out.]

[Meanwhile, at the Security Desk…]

Guard: What’s going on? The lights in Damensen’s office are out. I can’t–I’m locked out!

Matt Damon[‘s voice resounds over an intercom, piped into Matthew’s office]: Matthew Damensen. Hi. I’m Matt Damon. And you’re not. I’ve been looking forward to meeting you. Some say you look like me, and you’ve been putting that imagined resemblance to good use, I hear…but that use comes to an end. I want it to be clear to you that I’m watching. And as you can see–or as you cannot see–I can get to you anywhere, at any time. I know where you work, I know where you live, and I know Emily, too. So there’s not…a lot of safety for you right now. You’re going to stop pretending to be me. Or I’m going to destroy you. And no, this isn’t like one of those cartoons where the bad guy says ‘destroy’ because they don’t allow him to say ‘kill’ in a cartoon. This is the actual ‘destroy’. Your life will come apart, piece by piece, as will your sanity. I will dismantle your world, Matthew. And the only way you have to stop me is to become me. But you can’t become me, because I’m Matt Damon. And I’m going to prove it…by being Matthew Damensen for awhile. Why? Because only Matt Damon can be whoever he wants to be. Not you. Not ‘Matthew’. I’ll be seeing you around. Or should I say, you’ll be seeing me.

[Intercom Feedback]

[An alarm goes off. Security guards rush outside, only to find four guards lying unconscious on the lawn…]

[Matthew runs out, too, and seeing the guards unconscious, hurries to check on them. He looks up and sees a man disappear…over the fence.]


[One guard comes to and points at Matthew]

Injured Guard: Him–i-it was him!

[The security guards turn towards him. Matthew backs up, his hands up]

Matthew: Wait–no! It wasn’t me! It was–there’s a man who looks like me! His name is Matt Damon, and he just went over that fence! It wasn’t me! [The guards grab his arms] NO! NOOO! IT WASN’T ME! I’M NOT MATT DAMOOOON! I’M NOT MATT DAMOOOOOON! AAAAAAAAAGH! MAAAAATT! MAAAAATT!

[Jason watches in shock, shakes his head and stares in blank terror at the fence and again at Matthew…]

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