Give It To Me (Vader Edit)

Here’s a Star Wars rap I wrote a long time ago.  I used to blog on the old starwars.com, and I thought I might post this one again, just because I was thinking about it.  It’s sort of taking the music from an old Jay-Z song and approaching it from Darth Vader’s point of view.  So, here we go:

Chorus:

See I’m Vader, baby
And I’ma need you to know
I’m a Jedi hater, baby
So I’ma need you to go
Give it to me
Give me that fleet, that Force,
That flashy ‘saber stuff
It’s my destiny
Dark Lord of the Sith,
I report only to the Emperor

Vadey’s home
I’m back in black
You can send them clones
In a three-pronged attack
Me and Padme
Don’t see eye-to-eye
‘Cause Obi-Wan deceived you
With a pack of lies
That fool’s tryin’ to sever
Our family ties
But we could be cruisin’ together
In a family TIE
You like Threepio–
Get your head on straight
Believe me, though
Power is well worth the wait
And to speak of gold
I’m worth more than my weight in it
I’m creepy, cold
And born a Jedi-hatin’ Sith
Lustin’ for vengeance
Don’t know about repentance
I’m the Dark Lord
To whom you pay penance
And if you cross the line
You pay the penalty
You can’t apologize
Though I’m often “accepting”
I got rolls of dough
Got credits a-plenty
The galaxy to me
Is like DC went to Fenty

See I’m Vader, baby
And I’ma need you to know
I’m a Jedi hater, baby
So I’ma need you to go
Give it to me
Give me that fleet, that Force, that flashy ‘saber stuff
No apologies
I’m the best of the best and about to become spectacular

It’s Death Squadron
Burning down your homes
Like you was in a cauldron
Set down on forest moons
Like I was Buzz Aldrin
“Noosh, Vader! [Vader breathing]”
It’s a small step for Sith
But it’s a giant leap for all you Ewoks in this rap game
You try to breathe like me
But y’all just imitatin’
Ain’t no scheme like me
Constantly innovatin’
I’m the metaphorical Jesus
That’s castin’ down Satan
I’m a metaphorical genius
Aboard my battle station
The Death Star’s my home
And all y’all Rebel rappers are just
Scratches on my chrome
Should’ve known better
Than to play with matches on my throne
You might just get burned
With blasters from my clones
I’ll write ‘I wasn’t strong enough’
On your grave stones
You Wookiees growl tough
But you still my slaves, homes

See I’m Vader, baby
And I’ma need you to know
I’m a Jedi hater, baby
So I’ma need you to go
Give it to me
Give me that fleet, that Force, that flashy ‘saber stuff
No apologies
I’m the best of the best and about to become spectacular

Megalomaniacal
And diabolical
Each one of my plans is
Perfectly methodical
Born the son of the Force
And then became prodigal
Me versus Spock?
That’s simply illogical
“The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am”
And your raps can’t make
Half the living that mine can
I’m top alumni,
Imperial Rap Academy
While you standin’ in the crumb line
So you feel mad at me
But I can’t help it
I was born with skills
When moms died, I felt it
I was born to kill
“They’re like animals!
I slaughtered them like animals!”
So hungry for rhymes
They became lyrical cannibals
Hold up,
Let me get some fava beans
And this is what
Being Luke’s father means:
Born to bring order
Trained as a warrior
Game, set, match
And it’s only the first quarter

See I’m Vader, baby (Vader!)
And I’ma need you to know
I’m a Jedi hater, baby
So I’ma need you to go
Give it to me
Give me that fleet, that Force, that flashy ‘saber stuff
It’s my destiny
Dark Lord of the Sith, I report only to the Emperor

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