Off for a Princess (Parody song of Lana Del Rey’s ‘Off to the Races’)

My old man is a plump man, but
I can’t deny the way he saved my friends
From each castle,
What a hassle
But he did it without extra lives
He doesn’t mind I tend
To get kidnapped by
An army led by a reptilian guy
He slowly
Gets there for me
With his fire flower and his pipes

Swimming through rivers and oceans
Running past Hammer Brothers
With quick motions
When a Goomba shows up
He steps on it
I’d like to leave a green mushroom out
For him

Run for your life!
Grab all the coins!
Save me from Bowser
And show me you love me!
Run for your life!
Grab all the coins!
Get to the flagpole!
And get some more points!

And he’s off for a princess
In this
Classic NES set
Occasionally falling down
But he’s got to impress
This guest
Standing in a pink dress
‘Mario!’ she’s calling out
‘Bowser is crazy, baby
I’m in the castle number 8, please
I’m the one with peaches, secrets
Lined up so you reach this
Castle and then get me out
Waiting for you.’

My old man’s a plumber and
He smashes blocks with his
White-gloved hands
And he knows he
Must keep going
When Lakitu drops a spiny shell
He doesn’t buy that I’m a
Weak stereotype
He knows I’d gladly fight
Right by his side
And I’ll do it
We’ll get to it
On the second game
I float mid-air

He invites me to his
Smash Brothers, Parties
And Kart races
He can fly across space
And get Star Pieces
NES Remix
And NES Remix 2
He climbs a vine to heaven, too,
And

Runs for his life
Grabs all the coins
Saves me from Bowser
And shows me he loves me
Runs for his life
Grabs all the coins
Gets to the flagpole
And gets some more points

And he’s off for a princess
In this
Classic NES set
Occasionally falling down
But he’s got to impress
This guest
Standing in a pink dress
‘Mario!’ she’s calling out
‘Bowser is crazy, baby
I’m in the castle number 8, please
I’m the one with peaches, secrets
Lined up so you reach this
Castle and then get me out
Waiting for you.’

My old man has been beat
But I continue playing with him to the end
Have I seen this section
Of this castle before?
Just jump over those!
It’s a crazy maze!
Can he make it?
I don’t think this game’s
What they would buy without him
Who else is going to jump in the air this way?
A raccoon, a cat, too, even a cartoon?
There would be no games
If Nintendo was ever without you
You’re flying with your P-Wing on
Moustache right above your lips
I said, ‘Mar,
You’ve never looked three-dimensional
Like you do now, my man!’

And he’s off for a princess
In this
Classic NES set
Occasionally falling down
But he’s got to impress
This guest
Standing in a pink dress
He can do a spin jump now
‘Bowser is crazy, baby
I can’t count how often you save me
You are my one true love
You are such fun to love!
Oooooooooooooooh
O-oooooooooooooh
O-o-o-oooooooooh
You are such fun to love!’

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