Monthly Archives: January 2015

Animal Crossing: New Rap (A Rap)

One day I got off a train
And a second later
Creatures are surrounding me
Calling me Mayor
A bit surprised
Because I am the only human
And everybody seems to think
I know what I’m doing
It’s like an episode
Of Adventure Time
And so today I chose
To invent this rhyme
I’m starting out
Living in a tent
I notice there are no apartments
Left to rent
Which is good–
I see nobody stuck in tenements
It’s funny to see animals
Live the way we’re meant to
And what you knock off a tree
You can eat
And there are no homeless beggars
Sitting there in the streets
And you get paid well
For what you sell
You can trade a few peaches
For a few hundred Bells
And your assistant’s name is
Her name is appropriate–
She is a belle
It’s like a video game version
Of show and tell
And all you animals rapping
Wish you could flow as well

My wife, she does
Not know about my raps
She does know about my naps
She tells me I snore
And so I get
Nasal strips
Hope the problem is fixed
Yeah, right–I wish!
It’s not fixed–
I’d say it’s more a hit and miss!

It seems the best way to improve
Is time travelling
Speeding through the fifth dimension
Like a javelin
I got a leg up–
My wife played it in advance
Gave me enough Bells
And stuff to fill a mansion
Just today I bought a work shirt
But I used to wear the MVP with long sleeves first
Chose to pass on the lava lamp
Not enough room to store it inside my camp
Bought a net, bought a common bed
But only napped for 15 minutes, so I feel dead
Now I understand the Villager’s expression
Being a mayor can’t be an easy profession
And I get why this game becomes obsession
Each time I turn it off
I’m eager for next session
I haven’t even met that many people
And still I find I’m looking forward to the sequel
So far, I’ve planted a single tree
And gotten invited to a party on the 19th
And instead of enemies trying to fight me
I think this game is going to fill in nicely

My wife may not
Think that she is gorgeous
But she is my woman crush
Every day
Even when she is mean
If I interrupt her sleep
She’s a treat, truly sweet
She is someone I’m glad I got to meet!

It’s truly strange
That two days playing a game
Could inspire a few rap verses–
It’s insane
So now instead of
Looking for stuff to destroy I’m
Looking for bugs
On the island with Lloid–um,
He reminds me of a Cactuar
I’m sure I saw something like him
Back when I was Squall
But today I play a different role
I’m digging up the town
And searching for a new goal
And the Big Bros. hat is really Mario’s
And everywhere I go
In the evening shops already closed
So how am I to buy a new set of clothes?
I’m at work during the day
I take breaks to write my flows
You know, I rather like the jester’s mask
And I like how people are friendly when you ask
What’s the latest? Man, they’re the greatest
And the first-person shooter types probably hate this
Me? I’m thankful
It’s not very often
That I happen across a game
Like Animal Crossing
From agriculture to fish
To locating fossils
I’d say it’s possible
That this game might be awesome

My rhyming skills
Are quite frankly off the map
Yes, I know how to rap
A novice MC
So I’ve done my new flow
And it’s time for me to go
But I know–
Or I hope–
That you folks will
Come back for more
That you folks will
Come back for more!

Bow To Spark Man (A Song)

Lyrics inspired by the Mega Man III boss, Spark Man. Music from the game:

You may have noticed
That I control the voltage
And you have insulted me
I’m more than just a machine
I have a notion
To create an explosion
From electricity–
That would surely fix things

Because of electricity
Or call it eccentricity
I will make a new world
Minus all humanity
Is there a possibility
To cease all this hostility?
If you plan to bow to Spark Man
Then yes, certainly

I have the power
An electrical tower
So I can turn it off
And bring you all to your knees
So stand down, you cowards
Before things become sour
I can shut off all your fleets
Tear you apart with my teeth


So now comes a blue man
With a cannon on his hand
And he hopes to challenge me
I’ll end him quite violently
What is it that you can’t
Understand, Mega Man?
I can overload your dreams
You have no chance to beat me


Dr. Wily has his war
And I am his powerful core
I am endless energy
It comes from inside of me
So here’s what is in store
Since man was here before
I will shock them totally
Until they are all extinct

I’ll repeat the words once again
I currently have other plans
I’ll charge into battle
I still have the upper hand
I’m made of plus and minuses
Obey is my requirement
All you have to do is
Bow to Spark Man