A Matter of Time (Steal Your Girl) (A Rap)

How can you tell
When your girl is stolen?
She’s chillin’ with me
Like Elsa in Frozen
And so it’s clear
It’s not you she’s chosen
She’s wearing heels
And pantyhose and
She’s wearing clothes
That you can’t afford so
She can be my date
At my next awards show
She’s riding in cars
That you’ll never own, so
That’s what can happen
When you leave her alone
And treat her like
You got a heart of stone
But she wasn’t your property
To begin with
She’s coming home and
You don’t know who she’s been with
Well now I’m telling you
She’s riding with me
And I happen to be the person
That you’re dying to be
While you’re flying coach
She’s flying with me
I think we’ll drink a toast
When we arrive in Greece
While you’re broken-hearted
As you’re trying to sleep
We’ll be buying it all
Like it’s a dime a piece

Chorus:
Steal your girl
I’m about to steal your girl
Steal your girl
It’s just a matter of time

You tried to buy her
Without enough pesos
And now she’s giving me
Muchos besos
You said she couldn’t leave
Unless you say so
Now she’s got her own chauffeur
Who’s on my payroll
You see, you can’t
Treat a woman like a queen
When you yourself
Aren’t living like a king
You can’t even agree
To pop the ring
While I blindsided her
With the question and the bling
Your Internet is slow
Like a Castro’s
But she’s watching FiOS TV
In the bath, bro
Or maybe just lounging
And getting a back rub
And this is the consequence
When you lack love
She’s not even calling you
Isn’t it clear enough
That all there’s left to do
Is for you to give it up?
She suffered a lot
Now she can live it up
I can tip a hundred percent
At every restaurant
All she could say of you
Is you’re upset a lot
Or that you smoke, drink
And even bet a lot
Well, now I think
She’s got a better lot
In life so your name
Is shamed and she’ll forget a lot

(Chorus)

You tell her
She’s not skinny enough
And I say I’m happy
That there’s more to love
And you complained every day
About her cooking
And turned your head
At every girl that’s good-looking
While my eyes
Are focused on her
And we bake in the kitchen
I make her plate and serve her
Did you ever do anything else
But hurt her?
Always after whatever
Was in a skirt but her
Always having a harsh word
And curt with her
While I’m sitting in Paris
Having dessert with her
Ever travelled to a
Desert isle?
Well, it’s nothing compared
To seeing your girl’s smile
Not something you’ve seen
In quite a while
‘Cause your hateful behavior
Left her tasting bile
How hard can it be to see
That you can’t compete
With a man like me?
So it’s not really
A matter of theft
She did the right thing for her
And just left
I know it might be
Tough to accept
But since she left you for me
I owe you a debt
I hope you end up
Feeling some regret
And learn that a woman
Deserves to get respect
Thankfully
The last time I checked
Her beautiful arms
Were wrapped around my neck
And now we’re dancing
In love, romancing
It’s too bad–
You messed up your chances

(Chorus)

Commentary:

I know this song is probably a bit more of a popular kind of rap (I actually imagined the musician named Pitbull singing it), but it arose, strangely enough, starting from the chorus. The chorus popped in my head as my kids were watching the cartoon show called Justin Time, and I said, what if? Could I make that into a song? It’s absurd, and quite fictitious since I know nothing of riches or of the sort of jet-setting this song references. But I thought it’d be a fun song to write, and I injected some of my thoughts on how I’d spoil a woman if I had limitless resources. So in my case, the Mrs. is probably more likely to be stolen from me, in this scenario, ha! Anyway, thanks for reading.

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