Fight Night (A Rap)

Sometimes the battles I won
Don’t compare to the battles I lost
I consider the cost often
But I can’t go back
Rethink attacks
Or dispatch a new captain
To use a different tactic
It’s like Skynet headed me off
And my future was grounded
Before I even found it
And I simply cannot get around it
My thinking was too weak
I got myself surrounded
And then I got pounded
They’re carrying me back to the seat
Before the round ends
I’m seeing stars and I’m astounded
Did the ground just move
Or am I staring right down at it?
And I spit out my mouthpiece
It didn’t do me that much good
I think I’m out of teeth
And they awaken me
For Round Three
I’m barely even on my feet
And then I’m floundering
It’s like he’s got ten appendages
Every fist is connecting
From a different direction
And there’s little chance for reflection
My face and the ground
Meet at an intersection
And I’m not sure if
There is a referee
I am pretty sure
My opponent has just stepped on me
And I can feel his breath on me
Strangely cold
Like the pall of death upon me
And I wait for him
To set me free
He bends his knee
He grabs my head
And says to me:
“Ready to sleep?
Soon to be your destiny.
But for now,
This is not yet to be.”

“You see, breaking you
Is not enough.
I have to grind you up
Your mind and body crushed.
I’ll make sure everything you touch
Will end up in such
A way as I just discussed.
You’re far beneath even disgust
And there’s no healing temple
Here for you to limp to.
So why not simply end you?
Why not send you to the fate
All men are sent to?
Believe me, I meant to.
But not until I’m finished
Breaking whatever is in you.
And here’s how I intend to:
I’ll show you the truth
About everything your friends do.
You see, for decades
You were living a lie
Your closest allies want to
Send you out to die
And without even really
Telling you why
And without shedding tears
At whatever you had to sacrifice.
And worse still, now they scorn you
Label you an enemy
And won’t bother to mourn you.
This is what men of war do
It’s already happened
Many times before you.
So for now, I will explore you
See how you react
As your trusted friends ignore you
And the one you love abhors you
You want to stand up and fight
But can’t afford to.”

I shove him off
And get to one knee
It feels like the weight
Of a fleet is still crushing me
And nobody’s even touching me
It’s like I’ve been a tragic
Victim of some magic
But I’ve just about had it
With thoughts that manage
To take me to madness
And knock me down to sadness
We’ve had enough standoffs,
Skirmishes and matches
Unfortunately, the fact is
I have a bad habit of
Not acting on factors
And disregarding facts
About who I’m attracted to
And I’ve lost my whole world
I gave up my soul
And still lost my own girl
And the pain is vicious
Relentless like
A chronic, persistent sickness
And there’s no way to fix it
I throw a left hook
And I quickly missed it
Inside it’s like
Something is missing
I take another knee to the stomach
And then he’s kicking
A snap kick to the ribs
Leaves me breathless
He’s staring at me callously
Like unfinished breakfast
And heedless of all danger
I lunge right into the air
Bringing my anger
We erupt into a tumble
Fists and headbutts and
It then becomes a rumble

In sweat and tears I’m swinging
He clobbers me hard
And my ears are ringing
And then I try to throw an elbow
He shrugs it off
Like I just hit him with Jello
And licks his lips like it was sweet
I’m unloading blows with
Both fists and feet
I’m thinking that I’m beat
There’s no more to give
The tank is on E
And then he’s on me
Raining down bazooka-powered blows
Upon me
And now I think he’s got me
He’s going to keep going
Till he stops my heartbeat
And then I start to remember
It’s not his intention
To become the winner
And he strikes me again
I’m still breathing hard
And barely got enough wind
He smiles–a disturbing grin
Wipes his hands, says:
“We should do this again.”
His smile is gone, and he says:
“And we will.
We’ll do it again
Each day until you’re killed.
And even with all your skill
You can’t hope to conquer
A product of your own will.”
“But you’re wrong,” I say.
“I’m under pressure
But pressure and time
Are what create treasures.
And you may be depression,
But knocking me out
Is still out of the question.”
So I never learned my lesson
But I’m still finding ways
To maintain a connection
I cling to life like a sailor
Attached to his ship
In the middle of a maelstrom
And I may not prevail,
But I hope I learn something
Everytime I fail

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