For the Kids (A Rap)

Can you get in the car, please?
Scramble through my pockets
I just dropped my car keys
Give ’em cookies and
They’re greedier than Larfleeze
I get so exhausted
I need another Heart Piece
But it must be hard to see:
Living in a world
Where everyone’s a tall tree
And I worry they could stomp me
Or take something from me
I consider as my property
And I try to get your attention
I say your name fifteen times
Until you listen
The refrigerator is my mission
If it had a TV,
I would live in the kitchen
So do you get the message?
I want to watch
The next episode now on Netflix
I promise to remember to say please
So long as it gets me
Another slice of cheese
And I don’t like peas
I consider your favorite cereal
To be yucky
Why do you always tug me?
You get mad at me
And your face gets all ugly
But hey, I still love thee
When it’s time to take a nap,
I’ll say, “Up, please!”


Don’t worry–
I’ll remember your glasses
Or where your change, earrings
Jewelry or cash is
Aren’t you glad that
I can’t reach the matches?
But I can still climb up
Onto your mattress
Ooh, what game are you playing?
What does this button do?  What?
I’m just saying
Hey, how come the game is off?
Oh, that button did it
But I may be wrong
I think I’ll wait
Until you get really far
And then press it again
Just in case, to make sure
I just want to maybe be
Someone as exciting as that
So you’ll play with me
I may not make all the
Boops and beeps
But I can roar loud
Like a fantastic beast
And really, that’s the least
Of what I can do–
I can even play hide and seek!
So, aren’t you glad you have
A child like me?
No cares at all,
Running wild and free
Oh, until tomorrow?
That’s a while to me
I can run another
Seven miles this week


I don’t believe in bedtime
And potty-training me by three?
I don’t do deadlines
I know you hate it
When I’m whining
But you don’t seem to understand
I’m really trying
And you wonder why I’m crying
Maybe something’s getting to me
Maybe I’m tired
It doesn’t matter
Your attention’s required
Even if you have to
Pull an all-nighter
I’m there right beside you, man
I’m a fighter
I probably think
I’m a bit lighter
Oh?  I nearly started to choke you?
I’ll hug tighter
And there are no
Halfways with me
Either I love it or I hate it
There’s no apathy
And if you’re ever sad
I will always be
The one who can bring your smile
Right back to me
I don’t know if it’s hard
To take care of me
All I know is
That I want you to be there for me
So please, handle me carefully
With unconditional love
I know that you care for me

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