Raps of the Christopherian Realm #1 (A Sci-Fi Rap)

In 1982,
A vessel went forth
Carrying a hundred crew
Ready to explore
Their goal was
To establish a utopia
Find a land of plenty
Create a cornucopia
They traveled in
Experimental craft
The ship was protected by a metal
Fore and aft
They understood this metal was alien
And that it could be used
To create a new fate for them
They went at speeds
That defy known physics
It would take a doctorate
To explain the way they did it
Suffice it to say that their high speed
Was fast enough to earn a name
They dubbed ‘whitespeed’
It’s like an Improbability Drive
Except when you arrive
You’re not holding an apple pie
So they traversed across the universe
And when the journey ended
The man who knew it first
His name was Christopher
A man of legend, he was mythical
He led with the unexpected
Wasn’t typical
And so the Realm was
Named after him
Because at the helm
He bravely led them in


And so this group of
Spacemen turned colonials
Founded the king of the planets
Named Lionia
And they established
A council to rule
But the power was left
To the people-they had to choose
They considered Christopher
As the best of them
Appointed both him and his wife
Her name’s Vanessa
Also appointed a man
His name’s Adam
Because he liked to disagree
And have at ’em
And Adam became paranoid
Afraid that their fragile nation
Could be destroyed
And on some level,
He was right–
There were dark days ahead
And times of brutal fighting
But for decades
The people had peace
A second Christopher was sent
To land on Planet C
In that same year
A war started
And it left many a soul
Destroyed and brokenhearted
Strange ships with the letter S
Emblazoned on their faces
Dropped down and bombed
Several places
And in the mad scramble
Vanessa was killed
The ships were never seen again
But they will be


Adam was enraged
By these events
He blamed the council
For not having a good defense
And even though
He had good intentions
He assembled a squad
It was a task force of vengeance
Christopher eschewed the violence
He felt it would once again
Disturb the silence
Adam left of his own free will
Disappeared–people wondered back then
If he’d been killed
Our story now goes to Planet C
Where Christopher the Second is king
And living happily
More colonists arrived in the meantime
And for eight years after
They were doing fine
Establishing the first
Christopher Congress
The people represented themselves
To make progress
Somehow there was a king
And a president
This system of government
Was nearly without precedent
And rule number one
Was no money
As soon as there’s cash
People start to act funny
Rule number two
Is no division
No such thing as
Race, sex, or religion
Rule number three
Is no standing army
No man is a tool
Of political parties
And everyone is at the same table
Disease is the only thing
That’s ever fatal
Not bad, all things considered
Too bad it didn’t last for long
Man, it figures


One day,
At the end of Year Eight
A mysterious fog appeared
And wouldn’t dissipate
And so Christopher the Second
Did participate
In a mission to penetrate
The fog and investigate
For four years
The missions found nothing
And then a few months
After Year Twelve, they found something
Or rather, you could say it found them
Monsters started marching around
About a thousand
People hid in Christopher Castle
And felt threatened
With no standing army
What was there to protect them?
A band of brave men
Formed a militia
Built armored suits and swords
And even missiles
The people counted on them
To do the battling
And thus was born
What is known as the First Cavalry
But could a couple of dozen
Men of valor
Ever stand a chance
Against a deadly thousand?
Well, if an interest
Is within you
Then come back next time
It’s to be continued…

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