Thoughts on #GamerGate (A Rap)

I thought I might
Write a rap about Gamer Gate
I’m trying to wrap my mind
Around all the gamer hate
I hope it can teach
Us all a lesson
But I don’t understand
Why people are obsessing
We’re all adults here
You don’t need my blessing
But I don’t like it
When people start to threaten
And don’t know the
Proper use of Caps Lock
It makes me kinda wish
Their computers would get padlocked
It’s like a modern-day
Case of Matlock
People starting digital brawls
Like they’re in back lots
Look, I get that some people
Hate Anita
But when I saw what was in M-games,
I couldn’t believe it
Truth be told,
I’m rather glad she told me
I was only playing games
For Everyone or for Teens
Often the violent reactions
Can reveal
A hatred that’s already in place
Not even concealed
If you don’t hate women
And you don’t hate men,
Then I don’t understand
Why there’s so much of an argument
Games have women
Engaging in prostitution?
I guess it’s all protected
By the Constitution
And to be real
We would be in bad shape
If the government decided
Not to keep it that way
I don’t think
We should be playing that game
But part of freedom
Is we’re meeting people halfway
And these are depictions
Of a world
Like our own–
Where worse things are done to real girls
The consequences
Are far more than digital
Pain and suffering
Both emotional and physical
So if you really want
To change the games
You’d better start by making sure
Real life is not the same

Personally, I find it
Rather scandalous
That the only decent girls in games
Are Peach and Samus
Or perhaps the girl
Pokemon Trainer
Or the girl explorer in Pikmin
Both arrived later
And I still think
It’s kind of shifty
That I can play as Ash
But can’t play as Misty
And a woman protagonist
Is nifty
But she doesn’t have to be
A bust size of triple-D
Let’s not forget about
Cammy and Chun Li
But Daisy has been marginalized
Like Waluigi
And it would probably be easy
To name thirty male heroes–
For ladies, barely three
Well, I guess
There’s always Dixie Kong
From DKC two and three
If I’m not wrong
And then there’s Zelda
When she’s dressed as Sheik
When she’s not pretending
To be male, then is she weak?
In Smash Brothers
There’s Palutena, Rosalina
Stuff like that
Could maybe soften our demeanor
And I think we’ll all
Recall forever
Heroines like Tifa,
Aerith, Yuna, and Terra
Well, maybe there are
Some good examples
On both sides of the debate
That we can handle
There’s Lara Croft
And there’s Bayonetta
And some are probably debating
Which lady’s shape is better
And for a while
This has been the case
They used scantily-clad women
To sell arcade games
And they still try to do it
Like it’s nothing
Game of War advertisements
Feature Kate Upton
Even something as simple
As Shantae
Are they using hot ladies
To get guys to play?
But they wouldn’t do that
If we don’t pay
Except we do pay–
And they’d still do it anyway
Games were made
For our escape
But they shouldn’t be a place
To participate in rape
Isn’t it strange
We would have an interest
In doing things
That are normally off-limits?
Like stealing cars,
Shooting cops in the head
And beating a woman in the street
Until she’s dead?
Well, I hope you know
That’s not real life
I wouldn’t want anyone to try
To do that to my wife

But if I try to make
A call for unity
I’m guessing there’ll be someone else
Talking about shooting me
My advice
To the game designers
Is to give more thought
To what you make for minors
Thankfully, there’s a
Game rating system
Designed to help customers
Make the best decisions
And to the parents
If you don’t like it
Use the power of your purse
And don’t buy it
And don’t allow your kids
To try it
Let them outside
And give them a proper diet
There are two words
That solve this whole thing:
One is “individual”
Two: “responsibility”
It’s sad to be
Gaining notoriety
For pointing out whatever’s wrong
With our society
If you want things
To change, then be change
There’s no possibility
That’s really out of range
And think about
The way you’re living
We have a lot to learn
About respecting women
And if a gamer girl
Is playing online
Can’t you just play
Not harass her all the time?
I’m sure it must
Hurt your pride
When a girl is playing your game
And whipping your behind
Sometimes you lose
That’s alright
My advice there is
Take it all in stride
Our daughters and sisters
Are all counting on us
Show ’em that you’re listening
Don’t start ’em to doubting you
And if you think this song
Is about you
Then know that good will win–
With you or without you
So come on gamers, unite
I’m just saying
Let’s keep gaming positive
And thanks for playing

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