V.A.D.A. (The Force Awakens Edit) (Rap Parody of Jay-Z song ‘Izzo (H.O.V.A.)’)


V to the izz-A
D to the izz-A
I’m not forsaken
In The Force Awakens
V to the izz-A
D to the izz-A
That’s the anthem
Get your metal hands up
V to the izz-A
D to the izz-A
Don’t be hatin’
On BB-8 and them
V to the izz-A
D to the izz-A
That’s the anthem
Get your metal hands up

It’s half a helmet
Skeletal reality
I may be dead
But I achieved immortality
Heroes grow old
But they never retire
Especially not
When there’s still an Empire
Take it from a man
Who’s twice been through fire
More than just skill alone
Is required
I climbed back off of
The funeral pyre
Because I’m the only one
In this game who still inspires
Kylo Ren
Watchin’ hens in this wolf house
I’m everything and far more
Than what you heard about
They might say
There’s no more to be said
And the saga is over
Because Darth Vader’s dead
Thirty years later
I’m still stacking bread
I couldn’t finish counting it
Had to go to bed
But I can’t sleep
It’s more like meditation
The pain is incredible
The dark side is medication
And I break out
My PlayStation
I’m a teras kasi master
I’ll kick your face in


So I
Pass the torch
And I find it
Most fortunate
My son is still strong in the Force
And that’s important
No time for caution
I’m back out the coffin
I’m so good you say
We should do this more often
We can make it
A Star Wars Weekend
Wake up to see
The twin suns and sleep in
Watch me tangle with
Kanan and the Rebels
And ain’t none of them
Even halfway on my level
I trained Ahsoka
To be a saber toter
I’ve got no patience
For haters and young voters
We reorganized
To make a safe society
And rebooted the game
And gave it more variety
I’ve brought peace and security
To my Empire
No such thing here
As a right to survive, so
Too much thinking
Gets you sighted with rifles
When curfew is up
You better silence your lights, bro


This year
Your Christmas gift’s a week early
It’s in the form of
Movie tickets, now, you heard me?
It’s Finn and Jake
And Edgar Allan Poe–
Oops, Finn and Rey
And Poe Dameron, whoa
J.J. Abrams came up
To save them
Like Luke did to me
I found it most brave of him
To face the challenge
In this age of information
Where one tap of phrases
Can paint you as Satan
Or have ’em laughing at you
Like Jason Bateman
While the perpetrators wait
In the safety of their basements
But fans are waiting
In rain on the pavement
To see the greatness
That they will embrace again
A great day
For the faith that was wavering
It’s eight more months
Until The Force Awakens
And I won’t add
An additional statement
Put this anthem on
In your ships with the bass, man


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