Monthly Archives: June 2015

Raps of the Christopherian Realm #10 (A Sci-Fi Rap, Continued…)

“So we meet again,”
Christoph said,
“The collective yin and yang
Inside of your head.
Because we’re friends
In the future, it was fine
In your mind to come back
And change the timeline?
Your kingdom was never
A true democracy.
Instead it was a
Socialist cult of aristocracy.
You had cameras
Installed in every room
And you segregated
Women and men, even at school.
There were no queens
In your vision–
No more than there are
In your former religion.
This is what’s called
Historical revision.
You’ve made your drones sentient,
But reason?  You prevented it.
You see, I was always
Your better half.
Your strong suit in life
Has never been math.
You have remained
Powerless in wrath
And wandered along
Got lost upon your path.
So allow me to
Remind you of the truth, sir.
Allow me to take you ahead
To the future…

“A bleak world
Filled with toxic waste–
The result of your trying
To create a Free State.
The High Tribunal
And their agent, named Shadows,
Subjugated you
Through a series of battles.
Your idea of freedom
Is enabling
Whoever you choose
To put you into slavery.
And the monster that
You know as Scepter
Imprisoned in the Paradox–
Is that really better?
He had a dream
Of a world free from women
A world where we’re free
To make our own decisions.
And while his methods
Are quite radical,
I still don’t believe
He needed a sabbatical.
He was only
The product of your anger,
The end result
Of your trusting every stranger,
And being completely
Blind to danger.
If your people
Knew your true angle,
They would most certainly
Make sure they hanged you.
You betrayed them.
You betrayed them all.
All that you installed
Is destined to fall.

“You want to go back
And fix the past?
Then why’d you come alone?
Did you even ask
If I could join you
So that we could
Save our nation?
Or did you prefer
To omit that information?
This is quite egregious
You’ve gone too far.
Am I now in chains
The same way that you are?
Does it matter?
Not to me
I still believe the mind
Is rightfully my property.
Think of what we
Could’ve created
Instead of a decade
Of war and debating!
With your conscience
And my ingenuity
There was no telling
What a bright future it could be.
Instead you thought I was not your friend,
Tried to turn me from matter to energy, and back again.
Well, my brother,
That’s not happening.
As usual, there is a lot
You haven’t factored in.
You must beware
Find a way to forget her.
Otherwise, you are to blame–
The birth of Scepter.
And…if we are truly
Meant to become friends
Then at least this war
Is the beginning of the end…”

And so he left him
Paralyzed and breathless
Chris knew–it’s reckless
The future is destined
The war ahead
Would drag on through winter
And the pivotal
Battle of the MCI Center
Was not too far
In the distance
He wondered if his presence
Could ever make a difference
But the war itself
Wasn’t yet done
The fight was ahead
There were battles to be won
He would even
Have to raise his son
The heir to it all
Would one day make ascension
So it was back to the trenches
The war ahead was long
And still at the beginning
And like a man
Frozen in place
He would be forced to face
The future he erased
But he found it better
To embrace
The present–
There was bread still here
In spite of leaven
And he might not
Be going to heaven
But there was great hope
Still to be found right next to him
The green banner
On the floor right before him
The symbol of his people
Did a lot to restore him
So he gathered up
His feet beneath him
And set off,
Back to Planet C to beat evil
Because when people need you
There’s nothing else to do
But keep fighting for freedom…

Panic Attack (A Rap)

I’ve been reading the news
It’s got me scared
And wondering when terror
Will find me unprepared
I think the fear
Is worse than the actual
And even worse than that
Is not knowing what’s factual
I see a dude in camo
Fears skyrocket
Mind racing, wondering
What he’s got in his pockets
Should I have told him
He turned me into Gollum
A riddle in the dark
With no answer spoken?
I’m afraid of
The path we’ve chosen
I’m afraid of
The wrath that claims people’s focus
I walked a long road
To get there
And now upon arriving
I’m scared I’ll meet death there
Because some dude
Read it on the Internet
He becomes convinced
That the killing isn’t finished yet
Misinformation
Invites participation
Strange how murder
Is free of discrimination
Scared to ride the bus
Or go to movies
Because of some nut
Who might decide to shoot me
Sure you can ban it
But you don’t understand that
A killer will kill
With whatever he fills his hand with
Maybe it’s safer to
Cut their bandwidth
Remove anything that
They can cut their hands with
Maybe not,
With these days, I figure
Someone’ll try to kill you
With some child-safe scissors

I’ve got a panic attack
If I go ahead, I’m dead
I’m scared to look back
I’ve got a panic attack
I’d rather stay in bed
Than to battle with that
I’ve got a panic attack
If I go ahead, I’m dead
I’m scared to look back
I’ve got a panic attack
I’m really not prepared
To be handling that

I dread getting up
And dealing with the work week
Scared someone in the office
Wants to hurt me
I’m scared to drink the water
When I’m thirsty
And scared someone poisoned
The food or the dessert treats
I’m scared my ex
Might kill my kids
And scared the Internet
Might tell her where I live
With all these phobias
No hope for utopia
I’m like a District Tribute
At the Cornucopia
So will I be killed
For your amusement,
Or maybe for the will
Of a group that I’m refusing?
And with so many truths
It’s just confusing
Everything I think I can prove
Can’t really prove it
People think that
I’m crazy or I’m stupid
I was even scared
When I was struck by cupid
I’m often scared
To even go to sleep
Wondering if I’ll become
Who I’ve hoped to be
And hopefully
The fates will maybe vote for me
And I won’t be pulled over
By the faux police
Or run over
When I cross the street
Or blown up
When the stove maybe caused a leak
Or in fulfillment
Of a prophecy
Maybe God will kill me–
That’s his policy

I’ve got a panic attack
If I go ahead, I’m dead
I’m scared to look back
I’ve got a panic attack
I’d rather stay in bed
Than to battle with that
I’ve got a panic attack
If I go ahead, I’m dead
I’m scared to look back
I’ve got a panic attack
I’m really not prepared
To be handling that

I don’t know how
People believe anything
Whatever you believe
It creates some new enemies
And it makes me feel
Scared to breathe
Is it oxygen or carbon dioxide
I’ll receive?
And maybe I’m scared
My wife will leave
I often feel like
She could do so rightfully
And often the
Self-righteous’ll be
The very same people
Who have rifles, see?
I no longer trust
Privacy
And I get scared whenever
Folks are nice to me
And when I wrote
Those Eyes of Yours
I was scared that people
Would think I’m disloyal
But I wrote it
Because I was scared
Of the feeling that I felt
That shouldn’t exist in there
I’m almost scared
To put it down on paper
Because I think someone else’ll
Find it later
So do you mind
If I stay here?
Maybe my fears won’t find me
If I lay here
I’m afraid of the crimes
Every day here
And I’m afraid I’m losing my mind
The more I wait here
When days are better
And things are more together
Maybe I’ll feel that it’s safe–
Or maybe never

I’ve got a panic attack
If I go ahead, I’m dead
I’m scared to look back
I’ve got a panic attack
I’d rather stay in bed
Than to battle with that
I’ve got a panic attack
If I go ahead, I’m dead
I’m scared to look back
I’ve got a panic attack
I’m really not prepared
To be handling that

Figure It Out (A Song)

I thought that you were
The one I was praying for
The one I was grateful for
When I said ‘I do’
And I hoped that you were
The one that was worth waiting for
The one I was fated for
But that is not true
My heart is still broken
From words you have spoken
And from each moment
Your hands have hit me
It’s blurring my focus
And made this life hopeless
And if truth be told, then
You just don’t get me

You should’ve been able
You should’ve been able
You should’ve been able
To figure it out
You should’ve been able
You should’ve been able
You should’ve been able
To figure it out

I hate to be saying this
The one I’ve been laying with
Feels like she’s been playing with
My heart all this time
You do all the hurting
Behind all the curtains
Pretend to be perfect
When you are outside
When you tear the pages out
And let all your rages out
And say what you hate about me
Yet you love me?
You can’t see the pain
Like it’s tears in the rain
That day you threw my rings
And I felt so ugly

You should’ve been able
You should’ve been able
You should’ve been able
To figure it out
You should’ve been able
You should’ve been able
You should’ve been able
To figure it out

Maybe somewhere in there
You still care
But baby if you call this love
It’s unfair
I wonder if you can see it
In my eyes
That you’re driving me to leaving
It’s just a matter of time

You should’ve been able
You should’ve been able
You should’ve been able
To figure it out
You should’ve been able
You should’ve been able
You should’ve been able
To figure it out

Those Eyes of Yours–Part 2 (A Song)

I can tell that
You don’t want to see me
Looking in your eyes
I am not surprised
I think right now
I feel like I should cry
It’s what is left inside
I always have the time

Why is it I can’t
See those eyes of yours?
What am I looking for?
What am I looking for?
What can’t I see
Behind those eyes of yours?
What am I looking for?
I shouldn’t look anymore

I find it strange that
I feel this intense
It doesn’t make any sense
It was never meant
It’s like a love story
With only one side
And yet I seem to find
I cannot keep you out of my mind

Why is it I can’t
See those eyes of yours?
What am I looking for?
What am I looking for?
What can’t I see
Behind those eyes of yours?
What am I looking for?
I shouldn’t look anymore

I have to somehow
Forget you are there
I try to bury it
And still I carry it
It’s not as if my heart
Can beg you to care
You’d probably just ask
‘What are you staring at?’

The answer’s simple:
I’m staring at you
I don’t quite know why
There’s something in your eyes
I tell myself I
Should put it aside
It doesn’t matter, I
Keep dreaming all the time…

Dreaming all the time
Dreaming of you
It seems to be what fools–
People like me–do
Better to hide it
So deeply inside
I wouldn’t have to lie
If you ever asked,
I could deny

Why is it I can’t
See those eyes of yours?
What am I looking for?
What am I looking for?
What can’t I see
Behind those eyes of yours?
What am I looking for?
I shouldn’t look anymore

Act a Fool (The Force Awakens Edit) – Parody of Ludacris’ ‘Act a Fool’ song

Two Sith!
Too furious!
We too Sith for y’all!
Two Sith!
Too furious!
We too Sith for y’all!

Pulled up to the theater
‘Cause I’m campin’ out
And December 18th is
What that’s about
Got my Tauntaun sleeping bag
If I get cold
Got a Darth Vader toaster
Makin’ my toast
I like my coffee on the dark side
Makin’ this roast
I ride faster than Hera
People think I’m a ghost
So they call me Phantom Menace
‘Cause they hatin’ me most
I got the fresh Star Wars
What you think of my clothes?
I got the Darth Vader hat
One size fits all
I got a T-shirt of Obi-Wan
Fighting with Maul
I got the pajama pants
With Vader’s face
I got my soccer ball designated
BB-8
I got the Boba Fett hideaway
License plates
So if the Empire finds me
I’ll escape to space

If people tweet spoilers
Six months in advance
Tell me what you gonna do?
Act a fool!
And they hatin’ on a movie
That they ain’t seen yet
Tell me what you gonna do?
Act a fool!
If the store ran out
Of masks for Kylo Ren
Tell me what you gonna do?
Act a fool!
And if trouble goes down
For my main man Finn
Tell me what he gonna do?
Act a fool!

What kind of Mickey Mouse operation
They running?
It turns out that Disney
Was onto something
I got a Blu-ray player
In my glove compartment
My ride is so fresh
It’s like a second apartment
So I can chill out and
Watch Attack of the Clones
Be like Han Solo said, man
“Chewie, we’re home”
Got my phone loaded up
With the Star Wars tracks
Got my speakers blowing out from
The front and the back
When I stop at the light
Just check out my rims
Got a stormtrooper’s face on ’em
Look at ’em spin
And I let my hair grow
Like a Qui-Gon Jinn
While I play the Force theme
On a violin
And I’m streaming Clone Wars
HD on Netflix
Watching Star Wars Rebels
Season 1 on my tablet

If people tweet spoilers
Six months in advance
Tell me what you gonna do?
Act a fool!
And they hatin’ on a movie
That they ain’t seen yet
Tell me what you gonna do?
Act a fool!
If the store ran out
Of masks for Kylo Ren
Tell me what you gonna do?
Act a fool!
And if trouble goes down
For my main man Finn
Tell me what he gonna do?
Act a fool!

Got my Darth Dew Slurpee cup
From ’05
And a decade later
Star Wars is alive
I’ve been riding shotgun
Since The Phantom Menace
And I’ma keep riding hard
Till the fandom gets it
‘Cause the Universe Expanded
Then it contracted
With a new set of tales
Making Legends redacted
I’ma stack novels high
Read ’em front to back and
Get my Marvel-made comics
Fresh out the package
Three months left
Until the Aftermath hits
And a box office legend
Coming three months after it
Stormtroopers usually
Are hit and miss
Ain’t nobody on the block
Gonna be missing this
Got my grill going
Darth Vader’s face on my apron
And it’s six months left
Until The Force Awakens

If people tweet spoilers
Six months in advance
Tell me what you gonna do?
Act a fool!
And they hatin’ on a movie
That they ain’t seen yet
Tell me what you gonna do?
Act a fool!
If the store ran out
Of masks for Kylo Ren
Tell me what you gonna do?
Act a fool!
And if trouble goes down
For my main man Finn
Tell me what he gonna do?
Act a fool!

Two Sith!
Too furious!
We too Sith for y’all!
Two Sith!
Too furious!
We too Sith for y’all!
Two Sith!
Too furious!
We too Sith for y’all!
Two Sith!
Too furious!
We too Sith for y’all!

Raps of the Christopherian Realm #9 (A Sci-Fi Rap, Continued)

And so they meet
It’s a clash of fleets
Heavy blows traded
People knocked out of seats
Chris commands the
Christopher Star
Flagship of the kingdom
The heart of it all
And it unloads beams
From its batteries
Every one reaches a target
Opens cavities
The Scorpion ships
Are losing limbs
And it looks like the
Netherworld could lose again
But the battle
Isn’t quite done–
A surprise commander’s
Aboard Scorpion One
“Pull the fleet back.
Regroup with me,”
Christoph said,
“Group Three
Will jump to whitespeed.
Set course for
The Christopher Star.
Now, my nemesis,
We’ll find out what you are.”
Chris could see
Their fleet pulling back
And sense that it was odd–
They’d all stopped attacking
He couldn’t imagine why
That would happen
Unless they had concealed
A way to stop his shield
He reversed course,
But before he could dodge
A bright light slammed his ship
And he was gone…

Fordius Tack saw
The Star disappear
And his insides churned
With a new feeling of fear
It was almost certain
That he was doomed
And odds were
There was nothing left to do
But go forward
And stick to his orders
The Scorpion fleet approached
Planet C’s borders
And there would be no
Last minute saves
He and his people
Were headed to their graves
He opened fire
Unleashed all batteries
They sped right past him
Didn’t bother battling
Because his shield
Couldn’t hold them there
They would just ram his ships
‘Cause they don’t fight fair
And so Fordius started
To feel helpless
Until an idea occurred to him
He felt it
If you can’t
Beat a foe head-on
Subterfuge can help you
To even the odds
And his expertise
Was espionage
So he decided he
Would go and sabotage
If he could destroy
Their command ship
It might change the battle
So his people could handle it
And after that
He could find out if Chris
Was actually done for
Or maybe still existed
So he climbed into
A fast shuttle
To see if he could find
A way to cause trouble

Garg lost a third
Of his fleet up in space
But determined the remaining
Ships would lay waste
So he sent them out
On a bombing campaign
In the hopes of leaving
No structure in place
But in spite of
The way he planned it
Christopher Castle was
Somehow left standing
And pod ships came racing
From many places
The Scorpion fleet was slow
When not in space
Its weight was a strain
Because of gravity
The pod ships were light
And fast, attacking savagely
The Christopherians were
Ready here to bury them
Ace Squadron came
With a payload they carried in
And they inflicted
Some catastrophic damage
Garg issued orders to land
And barely managed it
He said, “Disembark.
Troops, prepare your guns.
Wait,” he checked his screen,
“Where is Scorpion One?”

Chris found himself
Awakening at home
On the cold floor
He sensed that he wasn’t alone
And the sky outside
Became darkened
As if out of nowhere
A storm had been called in
And as he heard
The first rumbles of thunder
He couldn’t escape it,
And couldn’t help but wonder
There was only one
Possible explanation:
Christoph had changed
The battle situation
Garg had nowhere near
The smarts
To give an order bold enough
To break the Star
“You’re right,”
Christoph said, walking in.
“You really should have led
With Warhammer instead.
But it’s a
Good thing for you
That you chose to run those ships
Without a crew.
Otherwise, they probably
Would have died,
Fighting for your cause
With no idea why.
There was no doubt
You would survive,
As you possess the same
Godlike powers as I.
So here we are,
Me, a guest at your home.
And what I have to say
Is for you and I alone…”

Those Eyes of Yours (Part 1)

What was it about
The first time I saw you?
It might have been a dream
Like nothing I have seen
Makes me forget about
All I have gone through
I’m seeing you and me
But I shouldn’t be

What am I seeing
In those eyes of yours?
What am I looking for?
What am I looking for?
Why am I dreaming
Of those eyes of yours?
What am I looking for?
I have been here before

I didn’t think I
Could feel this way again
I know it’s in my head
It’s nothing that you’ve said
I would rather feel
Nothing else instead
Yet even in my bed
Your eyes, I’m seeing them

What am I seeing
In those eyes of yours?
What am I looking for?
What am I looking for?
Why am I dreaming
Of those eyes of yours?
What am I looking for?
I have been here before

When you walk by
I just forget to breathe
I’m trying not to see
What’s trying not to be
I know you’re not mine
I’m already complete
And crying’s not for me
My crying heart would bleed

Yet I would cry for you
If you’re the one
Because then any hurting
Would make everything worth it
At the right time
That’s what you would become
But maybe not for me
Maybe just inside my dreams

What am I seeing
In those eyes of yours?
What am I looking for?
What am I looking for?
Why am I dreaming
Of those eyes of yours?
What am I looking for?
I have been here before