Monthly Archives: July 2015

Shovel (A Rap)

A strong man can’t
Understand the straw man
Or comprehend
When he’s using a hard hand
You built a house of cards
And when it falls in
You tape it back
And call it someone else’s problem
You call it progress
This backwards process
While you’re still taunting
I’m calling it nonsense
And even worse
It’s demonstrably monstrous
You turn on your own
And then call it conscience
And still you’re mad at me
Used to call me family
Now you won’t even
Look me in the face, sadly
You bring me news about
How I got a nephew
Well maybe you can tell the dude
How his uncle’s dead to you
From what I said to you
Man, I’m not scared of you
I told the truth just how it is
And it’s unfair to you
So what do you care to do?
Rotten trees bear the fruit
You’re a thug and a bully
And this rhyme was prepared for you

I’m being real
When I say that I love you
But even still
I have to pick up the shovel
I’m being real
When I say that I love you
But this is how I feel
Got to pick up the shovel

We gather here
On this hallowed ground
In memory of the brothers
That aren’t still around
And the sisters too
Don’t think I’m missing you
You’re the type of people
I didn’t make a difference to
But I’m different dude
Diffident to suit the mood
But now I have a different voice
A mind of a different school
You’re using simple tools
Like a flint striking a rock
My brain’s a flamethrower now
With all the knowledge I’ve got
And it was painful
Not thinking till you say so
You claimed to wear a halo
But now I’m dropping payloads
Because I severed
All these fraudulent ties
I don’t have the time
You hear this?
Well you don’t have a mind
But hey, since you have a Father
That’s fine
Just make sure you ask for his help
Instead of mine

I’m being real
When I say that I love you
But even still
I have to pick up the shovel
I’m being real
When I say that I love you
But this is how I feel
Got to pick up the shovel

You could say
This is disrespectful
But unlike you
I’m not the type that’s forgetful
‘Cause I remember
The derisive laughter
The butt of every joke
And feeling impotent after
Well now it’s done
I’m not here to make fun of
That’s the price you paid
When you made me feel unloved
The funny thing about
Having a lot
Is that it tends to remind you
Of what you never got
And you only pay me mind
When it’s expedient
Could only get a bit of your time
If I’m obedient
And even then
It wasn’t really good enough
Your firstborn earned your scorn
Yet he is loved
I was the sequel
Separate, unequal
In front of your people
You can paint me as evil
You didn’t see
All the struggles at school
You liked all the grades
And I stayed out of trouble too
But you never took the trouble to
Look me in the face everyday
And say, “I love you, dude”
You just wanted a soldier
And a loyalist
And even when I showed you that
You’re busy destroying it
Well, at least you made it clear–
Family’s a regime that is ruled by fear
Know what?
I’m going back to my hovel
Wait a minute–
I forgot to get my shovel…

I’m being real
When I say that I love you
But even still
I have to pick up the shovel
I’m being real
When I say that I love you
But this is how I feel
Got to pick up the shovel

But it’s confusing
And I don’t know what to say
As the shovel picks up dirt
Then piles it on your face
Everybody did their best
With what they had
And the more I think about that
The more it makes me sad
I think about the harm that was done
And I stop, realizing
I was not the only one
You saw your mom shot
And you saw your dad drunk
And you got all the beatings
Whenever there was bad done
And yet you taught me to do good
Tried to be an example
The best that you could
I honestly want to care
And I would
But the pain in my soul
Tells me I never should
‘Cause I’m gone with
A life of my own
And a wife of my own
And some tykes of my own
And thinking ’bout
All the rights I will own
When I’m done with the power
Of my microphone
Who am I kidding?
I’m not very forgiving
I’ve done enough shoveling dirt
It’s time for living
I just hope that you know
I still care
But I’m absent without home
I won’t ever be there

I’m being real
When I say that I love you
But even still
I have to pick up the shovel
I’m being real
When I say that I love you
But this is how I feel
Got to pick up the shovel

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Poison (The Dark Knight Trilogy Remix) — Parody of Bell Biv Devoe (BBD)’s ‘Poison’

It’s the beginning of
Batman
He saw his parents killed and made a vow
He’s fighting villains and
Bad men
So Gotham City’s criminals go down
They fear his mask
And they go running
Until the Scarecrow
Sees him as he’s leaving
Hits him with gas
And he was screaming, screaming

Poison
Batman: “Poison, poison, p-p-p-
Poison, poison, check blood.”
Never trust a Ducard with a smile
Poison
Batman: “Poison, poison, p-p-p-
Poison, poison, check blood.”

Joker asks “Why so
Serious?”
And he can make a pencil disappear
And Harvey Dent is still
Delirious
He’s brought face to face with his worst fears
They killed his girl
Burned him half dead
He’s killing gangsters
‘Cause of dirty cops’ treason
And all because of his own demons, demons

Poison
Batman: “Poison, poison, p-p-p-
Poison, poison, check blood.”
Never trust a bad joke with a smile
Poison
Batman: “Poison, poison, p-p-p-
Poison, poison, check blood.”

There’s a resurgent League of
Shadows
It really doesn’t matter who they are
Your spirit’s broken, so’s your
Cashflow
Selina Kyle knocks you down really hard
Steals your car
Bane takes your money
Says she’s Miranda and you still believe it
But she’s in league with
The scheming team and
Punch to the back
Heals my spine
Pushups, stories from
A doc who’s blind
Can’t get Rachel
Out of my mind
Missed her, kissed her, lost her
(And Alfred’s gone)
Gotham City is

Poison
Batman: “Poison, poison, p-p-p-
Poison, poison, check blood.”
Never trust a fake name and a smile
Poison
Batman: “Poison, poison, p-p-p-
Poison, poison, check blood.”

[Rap:]
He’s the Batman
It’s a three movie process
From fusion reactors
To rescuing hostages
He’s got more cash
Than pigs got sausages
He is the symbol
That inspires confidence
In Gotham City
And in every continent
He can succeed
Where police are incompetent
Detective
And he’s the world’s best
He’s not wearing hockey pads
Like all the rest

To criminals he’s
Poison
Batman: “Poison, poison, p-p-p-
Poison, poison, check blood.
Poison, poison, p-p-p-
Poison, poison, check blood.”
Poison
Joker: “Ha ha ha ha ha!”

Maximum Flow (A Rap)

Designed for superior
Rapping performance
And before this
My rap vocabulary’s enormous
I’m like a monument
For the tourists
With a voice so important
That it needs insurance
And be assured
That it brings endurance
My mike is a stamp
Of quality assurance
Producing endless rhymes
Like a factory
Intending to end
The trend of bad strategies
Now that you’re acclimated
Rap’s reactivated
Backed into the compact space
Without accelerating
And like Ace Ventura
“Like a glove!”
I fit rhymes into the
Combinations you love
And they don’t like it
When rap rises above
They’d rather be spoonfed
With sex, lies and blood
But that’s enough
Of being critical
I’ll leave a fool scratching his head
Like the riddles do
I’d rather make a song
To put fiddles to
A fancy feast for the soul
So eat your vittles, dude

Maximum flow
Back in the show
And everybody in the room
Will be asking for more of that
Maximum flow
Back in the show
So everybody in the room
Will be happy to know me

Line ’em all up
Like a batting machine
I happen to be
Waiting for it to happen to me
And actually
I’m wishing for a Dracula sleep
I’m like the extra in a film
At the back of the screen
While they
Turn it up till it shakes the windows
With gold in their teeth
Shouting innuendos
They’re like the PS4
And I’m Nintendo
Making the game safe
For orphans and widows
And my posture droops
Like weeping willows
But gone are the days
Of me weeping in my pillow
Some people get abrasive
Like a Brillo
All up in my face
For a fight like Frank Grillo
The summer soldier
And the sunshine patriot
When the flow gets ferocious
They’re not trying to be facing it
But I embrace it
‘Cause I’m done with patience
Like a doctor tosses gloves
When he’s done with his patients
They can’t accept it
When flows are antiseptic
Nothing’s ever what it seems
It’s all deceptive
While they neglect it
I’ll be one to address it
And when my button’s pressed
I will record my message

Maximum flow
Back in the show
And everybody in the room
Will be asking for more of that
Maximum flow
Back in the show
So everybody in the room
Will be happy to know me

The square peg
Doesn’t fit in the round hole
My rhymes are so big
They take a decade to download
But by then
I hope to still be around, though
A rap bakery
Still presenting the brown loaf
You sent hate-seeking missiles?
Well I found those
Safely dismissed from my business
Like a brown nose
You tried to disappear
Amongst the town folk
But there is no hiding you here
From rap salvos
The word version
Of shock and awe
It stops your car
Has you rocked and watching stars
Has you
Unsure of even what you are
I raised it up
Everytime you dropped the bar
So while you’re
Still getting up and disheveled
And realizing you
Are still not on my level
I think the score
Is considered as settled
Here’s a rap purple heart–
You just earned the medal
I bring the heat
That could melt the ice
It’s like a greenhouse effect
The way the flows are tight
So much heat here that
Can’t get out
That bounces down
So I suggest you stick around ’cause
You know something?
I’ll be here all night
I’ve got the style and the substance
To live up to the hype

Maximum flow
Back in the show
And everybody in the room
Will be asking for more of that
Maximum flow
Back in the show
So everybody in the room
Will be happy to know me
Maximum flow
Back in the show
And everybody in the room
Will be asking for more of that
Maximum flow
Back in the show
So everybody in the room
Will be happy to know me