Monthly Archives: September 2015

Heavyweight Flow (A Rap)

I’ll rap a mile a minute
Faster than intended
You check in with me
I’m a rap superintendent
You don’t get it so you quit it
Like it’s quidditch
I’m the rap seeker
Fast enough to defeat you
So undo the straps
The belt is mine
It’s a championship round
Going down with these rhymes
And all the judges
Might be begrudging
But I’m back by popular demand
Like big government
You hear the flows
And forget what the others did
You’ll be left with nothing
Is what my mother said
Instead I’ve got myself a wife
And a couple kids
If nothing’s what this is, then
I’m lovin’ it
It’s going down like
An all-day breakfast
I’m reckless while
You other rappers are just feckless
I’ll protest, protect it–
Forget it
While I’m trend-setting
You rap about your necklace
I’m still young
And silver-tongued
And giving some
Fruits of knowledge
Of good and bad
That’s killing ’em
Whoa now–
Who told you you were naked?
With language like that
You defile what is sacred

It’s kind of funny
How these folks think they can run with me
But never really have
Good motives ’bout their company
So I find myself
Often riding solo
But even Han needed
A Chewbacca for the road though
He’s mighty
Unlike me in fighting
But with this pen and paper
I shine brighter than lightning
So hear me roar
That’s what I’m writing for
I’m not nearly bored
Come on–look at the score
Though many rappers are up
And I’m at zero
I’m an aerial ace
With this microphone like Spearow
And I can change the timeline
Like Nero
‘Cause what I’ve read matters
The competition is shattered
Like a sheep without a shepherd
They scattered
Must have been residual–
Leftovers of Biblical
The odd verse
Can drop lots of proverbs
I’ll have your brain
Chowing down like it was bratwurst
I thought first
That my life had gotten cursed
Was not even worth
The price of food at Shoppers
I got a thirst
And got hurt
And lost her
Then I taught myself to fly
Like helicopters
Because the air looks better
From up there
And the clouds are like
Cotton candy at the fair
Though I may not make ’em
Stop and stare
I can still try to crash the market
Like a bear

I’m heavyweight
And left a cult
Like Heaven’s Gate
Changed my fate
Still making up a better way
And life hits me hard
Until the leather breaks
My heart carries scars
But I’ve never been in better shape
It’s uplifting
How life is shifting
The power of forgiveness
Empowers me to live this
It’s like I skipped it
Talented and gifted
I look at my troubles
And see?  They’re insignificant
I face it all with a smile
Like Barry Allen did
I can look back in awhile
And say I’m proud of it
All the bumps in the road
Have really changed me
But strangely
I cut off challenges
Like gangrene
And mainly
Don’t let the pain constrain me
I’ll blame me
But I won’t let the blaming break me
So when people ask me
What I’m doing
My answer to them is this:
I’m still going

Like a Monday in September (A Song)

It’s an echo
Can you hear it reverberating?
It tells me to let go
But I ignore the berating
You were my love
I remember you exactly as you are to me
Innocent like a dove
The sweet girl you tried hard to be
But you were put out like an ember

It’s causing me pain and
It’s like a Monday in September
It’s just like a day
I don’t want to replay and remember
It might seem mundane, but
It’s like a Monday in September

It’s the morning
And I can see the sun rise in the east
It’s also the mourning
For what we had, that is now deceased
I copy the letters
From me to you, and from you to me
It doesn’t get better
For me or you, or for you and me
‘Cause the wound is so tender

It’s causing me pain and
It’s like a Monday in September
It’s just like a day
I don’t want to replay and remember
It might seem mundane, but
It’s like a Monday in September

I haven’t gotten over it
‘Cause I haven’t gotten it over with
And I’ve got to make you live
‘Cause I don’t want to forget
So I keep trying to rekindle

It’s causing me pain and
It’s like a Monday in September
It’s just like a day
I don’t want to replay and remember
It might seem mundane, but
It’s like a Monday in September

Shadows of Me (A Rap)

It’s right in front of me
It’s all I can see
Still doing battle with
The shadows of me
It’s like a part of me
That’s hiding, unseen
Still doing battle with
The shadows of me

It’s like a poison
Bubbling up, filling with rage
Like a psychotic noise
I’m attacking the page
In spite of light
It still lies in front of me
I try to do the right
But I find I’m struggling
In my head
I hear the cursing has worsened
And though I have a wife
I’m accidentally flirting
And some days
It feels like we’re roommates
I’m bad at creating
Scenarios like first dates
And though she’s fine
And often on my mind
I forget what she says
Like every other time
And then it feels like
I can’t steal some kisses
Because at night we still
Share the bed with the children
And it’s not
‘Cause they had a nightmare
The last six years
I felt ’em kicking me right there
Wake up with the pain
With the back sore
Can’t even explain it–
What in the world was that for?
But then I see them grow
And I know
That sooner or later
A father has to let go
That kind of loss
Makes me not want ’em close
But I don’t want the cost
To be the love I show…
And on the days
That I’m winning
I remember things
That are still unforgiven

It’s right in front of me
It’s all I can see
Still doing battle with
The shadows of me
It’s like a part of me
That’s hiding, unseen
Still doing battle with
The shadows of me

Not my fault
I was raised in a cult
Used to pray for forgiveness
To God in my thoughts
It took a lot
To learn the lies I was taught
And it tore up my heart
Like a fire is hot
I lost friends
And burned bridges at both ends
Stood in the middle
Of a fight that was hopeless
Turned to a friend
In desperation to cope with
And then I betrayed her
By losing my focus
And sometimes
She still calls my office
She’s still in my mind
Though not quite as often
It still hurts
I don’t know what is worse
That I still think about her
Or that she was my first
And some nights
The guilt finds its way back
But that’s part of life
We don’t get to use a WABAC
So I tell those memories
To stay back
But they ignore me
And continue with the playback
And I ask if she
Secretly hates me
And curses the day
When we first started dating
Or am I alone
With the pain?
Did it hurt her so little
That I’m past her today?
And I don’t know
If she’s there
But if she was,
I would want her to know I still care

It’s right in front of me
It’s all I can see
Still doing battle with
The shadows of me
It’s like a part of me
That’s hiding, unseen
Still doing battle with
The shadows of me

I’m still coming to terms
With my desires
And then a woman catches my eye
And starts a fire
And all my efforts to stall it
Stoke the coals
Like I’m building a wall
While my heart’s blowing holes
But I’ve already got
Someone to hold
I don’t want to be the guy
Who’s tormenting her soul
So I try my best
To just ignore it
Like telling myself
Obsessions aren’t important
And to be honest
It’s starting to get annoying
Testosterone is the missile
They’re deploying
And all I’ve got
Is a brain and a ring
I already spoke the oath
So how do you work this thing?
I know I’m supposed
To call it precious
But the ring doesn’t make me
Disappear like breakfast
That’s why I’m tempted
To do something that’s reckless
And why the sight of women
Can still leave me breathless
Now I can barely afford
A cheap necklace
In a different life
I’d be driving a Lexus
I love my wife
But inside I feel restless
Lost in the desert of love
And feeling desperate
But there are sharks in the water
So don’t test it
You’ve already fought this battle
And been bested
So my advice to myself
Is get rested
Every new fight
Is a mark off the checklist

It’s right in front of me
It’s all I can see
Still doing battle with
The shadows of me
It’s like a part of me
That’s hiding, unseen
Still doing battle with
The shadows of me

Some days
I think about divorce
Or just rolling up the windows
And screaming till I’m hoarse
Still wishing I chose
A different course
But that’s no excuse
That would hold up in court
And people wonder
Why I don’t talk to them
I’m afraid the truth
Will be spoken too often then
And then they don’t
Take me seriously
I explain the situation and
It’s like they’re not hearing me
Like I’m stuffed with cotton
Not speaking clearly
The third time repeating myself
Makes me weary
So I stay
Out of their parties
And socializing scares me
Like not having coffee
But it’s something
I can’t avoid
Somewhere inside there is still
Quite a void
Like heaven above
Was destroyed
And all I have left
Is I’m currently employed
I’m starting to feel
Like I’m a monster
When it all started
From following my conscience
And life feels like
A foreign concept
It’s no longer right and wrong
It’s all nonsense
And these are the days
I feel ashamed
That I can’t tell my wife
About my secret pain
Instead I gather my strength
And carry on
Try to smile and pretend
There’s nothing at all wrong
But I’m small
There’s nothing about me strong
I can only carry
All this weight for so long
I just want a place
Where I belong
A place where I can stand
After so many falls
So maybe these shadows
Are pretty dark
But I like to write ’em down
To get ’em off my heart

It’s right in front of me
It’s all I can see
Still doing battle with
The shadows of me
It’s like a part of me
That’s hiding, unseen
Still doing battle with
The shadows of me

Throwback (A Song)

Oh baby, baby
You used to drive me crazy
You still do
I’m feeling lately
I’ll never have a lady
Quite like you
You take me back to
A time when things were simpler
And at peace
I’ve done the math, too
You plus me–it adds up
Perfectly

Baby you’re throwback
Quite something to look at
But baby you know that
It’s something you’re good at
Baby you’re throwback
Quite something to look at
But maybe you know that
You don’t need to hold back
Anything
Especially when you are lovin’ me

You’re just like a cartoon
The way your shape is drawn so
Perfectly
So maybe you ought to
Take my hands in yours and
Dance with me
Love you in the moonlight
It sparkles in your eyes so
Beautifully
You’re just like the sunshine
I feel so warm inside from
You and me

Baby you’re throwback
Quite something to look at
But baby you know that
It’s something you’re good at
Baby you’re throwback
Quite something to look at
But maybe you know that
You don’t need to hold back
Anything
Especially when you are lovin’ me

And baby it’s perfect
That you’re from a different time
And baby it’s certain
That I’m so glad you’re mine
And if you are hurtin’
If I ever see you cry
Then daily it’s worth it
Just to wipe the tears from
Your eyes

Baby you’re throwback
Quite something to look at
But baby you know that
It’s something you’re good at
Baby you’re throwback
Quite something to look at
But maybe you know that
You don’t need to hold back
Anything
Especially when you are lovin’ me

A Commentary on ‘Raps of the Christopherian Realm’

I thought I might take a moment to discuss what this story is all about.  I just completed #20 of the series and it seems that the story that I’ve kept in my head for so long shows no signs of running out of steam.

Basically it’s a metaphor for my life, converted into a sci-fi/fantasy tale of a distant galaxy I’ve called ‘The Christopherian Realm’.  In its original form it was called ‘Cyberspace’ (in my initial thoughts on it in the mid-to-late 1990s), but obviously the Internet has claimed that title.  Many of my daydreams about it were a mash-up of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Mega Man, the film First Knight (Sean Connery, Julia Ormond, Richard Gere), and later, of course, influenced by Star Wars when I first saw that in 1997.

The Christopher Kingdom is founded on principles of honor.  “Truth, right and justice” are its highest ideals.  It is a kingdom where no one wants for anything–no poverty whatsoever.  Democratically elected leaders represent the people, but a benevolent kingship–also democratically elected–oversees elected officials.  A President monitors the legislative and regal branches and issues instructions to the Intelligence Bureau to act as a safeguard against the abuse of governmental authority.

In this version of events, the Christopherians first settle on the planet Lionia, where Christopher the First is elected King and establishes a Ruling Council, consisting of himself, his wife Vanessa, and Adam.  Adam eventually becomes frustrated with the Council and is eventually forced into servitude to the morally gray Christoph, who rules an assemblage of bizarre monsters and machines in the Netherworld.

Years pass, and Christopher the Second travels to Planet C to set up his own kingdom.  All is well for years, until a strange mist envelops the land.  Christina is elected as Queen while Christopher himself investigates the matter.

All the while, unknown to them, the Christopher Kingdom is being used in a proxy war against the Netherworld.  A third Christopher, a being with godlike powers, resides on the Planet CBP-1, watching over these events and hoping to draw out his archenemy and doppelganger Christoph.

The war between them–a war between good and evil, freedom and fear–has already played out over the course of two decades.  This third Christopher–often referred to as Chris–has returned to the past from a dark future where the State of Christopher is ruled with an iron hand by a being known only as Shadows.

Oddly enough, in that future, Christopher and Christoph are friends who have banded together against a greater evil–that of a monstrous being of pure hatred, Scepter, and the dictatorial forces of the High Tribunal.  Chris and Christoph together captured Scepter and imprisoned him in the Paradox–a place of both existence and non-existence.  Scepter abides in that prison, awaiting the time when a force strong enough to awaken his full strength enables him to return to the Realm and resume his reign of terror.

In the meantime, the present that Chris hopes to change becomes ever darker with all he does to fix the future.  The war that he could not prevent before is happening again, with results he can no longer anticipate…

So, with all that said, a bit on the characters themselves:

Christopher the First–benevolent King of Lionia and father to…

Christopher the Second–King of the Christopher Kingdom

Christopher (Chris) of CBP-1–Creator of the Realm and sole resident of the ‘Colonel’s Bureau’, his base of operations

Fordius Tack–Chief Agent of the Christopherian Governmental Establishment of Good Agency, or CGEGA

President–elected official who serves as liaison between the people and the Intelligence Bureau

Christina–Queen of the Christopher Kingdom, elected to serve when Christopher the Second is engaged in military operations, later serving as co-ruler of the Kingdom

Lyselle–Warrior Queen of the Conscience Kingdom in the south of Planet C

Arthur and Audrey McCarthy–Leaders of the Heart Kingdom, neighbors to the Conscience Kingdom

Thea–beloved of the people, an up-and-coming Christopherian corporal who has aspirations to be Empress

Get Tough–captain of the junk ship Space Captain, robotic warrior with diamond-studded shoulders and fists

Starlit–co-pilot of the Space Captain, master programmer and ‘sister’ to Get Tough

Dr. Stephen–expert on robotics hailing from Lionia

Christoph–godlike Ruler of the Netherworld, a sector of space found via a wormhole in the Realm

Adablaster–formerly Adam of the Lionian Council, turned into a monstrosity by Christoph and forced into servitude

Garg–one of Christoph’s top generals, monstrous and cruel

Serpent–one of Christoph’s top generals, Commander of the Solid Army and second-most feared amongst Christoph’s inner circle

There will, of course, be more characters, I hope, and more battles ahead.  I look forward to sharing as many as I can write down.

Raps of the Christopherian Realm #13 (A Sci-Fi Rap, Continued…)

En route
From the planet of Impreg
Christoph had a plan
To render men dead
“Serpent, my servant,”
Christoph said,
“The Solid Army is yours.
You’ll be at its head.
Lay absolute waste
To Lionia.
Destroy their fleet
And invade with your soldiers.
I grow tired of
Pretending to scuffle.
It is far past time
We began to flex muscles.
Now, I will personally
Take the field
And wage war until
Planet C has to yield.
They’ll learn the full extent
Of my power.
I’ll destroy their kingdoms
And pull down their towers.
And if I see hide or hair
Of that coward,
Christopher himself will be
Pushing up flowers.”

The Space Captain
Sighted the Warhammer
Sitting as if dead in space
With no commander
“Why’s a capital ship
Sitting abandoned?”
Tough asked,
“Sis, I don’t understand it.”
“I’m hacking into their systems,”
Said Starlit.
“I’ll see if perhaps
We can locate the problem.”
The final log then
Scrolled up her screen
She found herself wanting to say
Something obscene
“Fordius Tack
Is now in trouble!
We’ve got to get planetside
Before he’s rubble!”
Tough pushed the ship
To its limits
And as they hit atmosphere
Then his instruments
Lit up like a pinball machine
“Enemy camp
Coming up on my screen.
Engaging in a strafing run
Would get us seen.”
“No time!” Starlit said,
“We’re not able!
Agent Tack is on
A very tight timetable!
He went off on a
Sabotage mission–
Who could watch the government
If Tack went missing?”
“The Death Dagger‘s ahead!
We’re approaching!”
Just then, they heard
The first set of explosions…

Adablaster heard the explosions
Looked to see
He pointed to a cloud of flame
“Our ships, my liege!
Someone out there
Is destroying our fleet!”
Garg said, “We don’t need
The ships.  We won’t be leaving.”
“What do you mean,
We won’t be leaving?”
“We’ll remain here until
The enemy’s defeated.
Scorpion tanks,
Start your advance!
We march now
On Christopher Castle, to attack!”
And so column after column
Of tanks
Rumbled ahead, making mighty sounds
Across the landscape
“This day will make us great,”
Garg said, “For it’s the day
We correct your mistakes.”
At that Adablaster
Inwardly seethed
And drew a small blade
From beneath his sleeve
Garg laughed
Didn’t look in his direction
Seized his hand, twisted
Severed the connections
Adam screamed
As Garg inflected,
“It’s a pity for you
We don’t have medics.
But if you’re bothered
By the pain, then chances
Are good you might need
To go see a mechanic.
You were brought
As a silent observer.
Christoph will be told
You are now a deserter.
We have no use
For your breath.
He will see to it
That you meet your death.”
With that,
Garg turned and left
And Adam realized
He was out of his depth…

Back on the
Planet CBP-1
Christopher watched in horror
At the explosions
It was too late to save him
Fordius Tack had just met the grave and
So who would be there
To save him now?
This wasn’t the way
The story had gone down
Now the Agency
Had no head
And the government would have
No check instead
Worse still, the war
Was now on two fronts
Lionia was under attack
By Serpent’s new guns
He could hear the screams
Of their fleets
As thousands and thousands
Were rendered deceased
And Christopher the First
On his throne
Was approached by Serpent himself
Walking alone
Serpent assailed him
And quickly impaled him
The Netherworld prevailed
And Christopher had failed, then–
A free people
Meant to live as equals
Slaughtered wholesale
By the armies of evil
Christopher sees
It happening on his screens
And sinks to his knees
He still can’t believe it
And then he starts to
Tremble with rage
His body starts glowing
Like he’s some kind of mage
And he looks at the
Screen again
A lone shuttle’s flying
“Christoph, my friend–
So you’ve decided
To come forth to battle.”
He leapt into the air
And the whole building rattled
His body became pure energy
He raced to Planet C
To engage his old enemy…

Raps of the Christopherian Realm #12 (A Sci-Fi Rap, Continued…)

And so the battle
For Planet C continued
Until the Netherworld’s vessels
Were on the menu
Garg was forced
To abandon his first plans
And he withdrew his troops
To prepare for a last stand
The King wanted
To go on an offensive
But they couldn’t be sure of
This Garg’s intentions
They prepared an
Old war invention
And issued the order
To dig up some trenches
With Garg’s fleet
No longer a threat
They called back the pod ships
To strengthen their defense
And they waited
With bated breath, intense
Wondering at that point
What would happen next

Fordius approached the planet
Was confounded
To see Garg’s entire fleet
Already grounded
But his plan for sabotage
Was still on
His plan was to strand
The enemy and kill some
Garg was foolish
The dude was assuming
That all of Christopher’s units
Were still retooling
The Death Dagger
Was completely unguarded
Fordius saw it
As the most critical target
He set explosives
Throughout the hangar
And made it to the bridge
Without a single danger
He was close to
Priming all his charges
Then he realized
There was something he’d forgotten–
The ship’s computer
It was loaded with data
He made himself a copy
To search through it later
He skimmed schematics
And his eyes were astounded
Then alarms sounded–
He found himself surrounded

Fordius drew down
To blast his way out of it
The intel he had was big
There’s no doubting it
Twin battle stations
Code named as Gauntlet
And key information
That could end the conflict
The location of
The Netherworld’s capital
A planet named Impreg
The intel was factual
A great palace
With a crystal deep beneath it
Destroy the crystal
And the enemy is beaten
Could it be done?
Could the war be won?
Fordius thought
As he fired both his guns
And many robots
Dropped from head shots
He slid into an elevator
Blew the floor and then stopped
He closed the doors
And then did a nose dive
He pressed the red button
The explosives were then primed
He had less than a minute
And realized
He’d passed an emergency exit
To get topside
He went back
And grabbed the door
Regretted it
The door was too heavy
And password protected
He saw his watch
Counting down from five
He knew he had
Four more seconds to be alive…

Christopher was at odds
With Queen Christina
Over the ascension of
The Corporal Thea
And it seemed that
Thea had a mission
To have herself installed
As ruler–a new ambition
“We’ve had enough
People die within our borders,”
She said, “To preserve the peace,
We need order–
One ruler, unchallenged
Can bring us success
So I call for a vote
To decide upon an Empress.”
Christina said, “No Empress
Would give up her power.
We think for ourselves
We won’t be moral cowards.”
Christopher said, “Thea’s right–
We need to focus on our enemies.
Only with one ruler
Can we decide quickly.”
Christina said,
“You’re siding with this woman?
I have to wonder if
Perhaps you’re lying with this woman!”
He replied, “I’m not,
Nor have I been with you.
But it’s Thea I desire–
She’s a goddess and a friend, too.”
Christina said, “You don’t know
Her intentions.
She doesn’t care for you.
She’s deadly–I can sense it.”
“She said she loved me.”
“I don’t believe she meant it.
Your heart is a castle
That has to be defended.
And if it’s broken
It can be hard to mend it
Love will drop you harder
The higher you’ve ascended.”
Christopher said,
“The people have lost hope.
They’ve already asked
That we put it to a vote.”
Christina said to him,
“Have you become dumb?
Where in the world
Did all of this even come from?”
“We’ve given these people
Nothing but war.
We need to offer them
Something else–they deserve more.”
“We’ve already seen
How this will end!
Either remove the ambitious
Or I can’t be your friend!”
“The people deserve
A new leader.
If you have such a problem
With this, then defeat her.”
With that, Christopher turned
And walked away,
Then he said, “One more thing:
Don’t get in our way.”
Christina said, “Oh?
So you’re threatening me?”
He turned to glare at her,
And said, “Most definitely.
We’ll remove you from power,
Queen Christina.
Make way for the rise
Of our new Empress Thea…”