Monthly Archives: October 2015

Raps of the Christopherian Realm #20 (A Sci-Fi Rap, Continued…)

The Master Code Input Center
A place only offering death
To those who entered
And Chris could feel it
In his soul
It was like he was entering
A spiritual black hole
An iris opened
Like someone was controlling it
Strange thing about it was
That no one was patrolling it
No ships, no robots–
Not a soul in it
Or was there?
Chris thought he saw something up there
But it was near dark enough
To make him run scared
A familiar voice then said,
And laughed like a man
You could expect your death from
Then the lights came on
As if by fire
Christoph now shouted,
The monstrosity of metal
Chris beheld
Could only be described
As mechanical hell
Like a place robots go
For torment
Gears and blades and switches
Built for war and
Nothing but chaos
Chips, wires and servers
A fiber optic network
Like none he’d ever heard of
And in front of him
A long, wide catwalk
A throne bathed a silvery color
Like many others
It was the kind of throne
That could hover
And there he was,
Draped across it like a lover

Christoph stood and said,
“At long last.
Christopher and Christoph–
Future and the past.
So, Christopher,
You remember this day?
January 16th,
It was a day
Most marked by our fate
And your failure to save
Your people from the grave.
But you see, you were made
To be slaves.
Your kingdom–
It isn’t a place for the brave.
And here are sown
The seeds of revolution.
You tried to control me
And here’s my retribution:
I will crush you
With what you love most.
Behold! The destroyer
Of all your last hopes!”

And then a cloud appeared
Of dark energy
It dissipated now
And the face of his new enemy
Soon appeared
Chris drew back in fear
Christoph said,
“You should never have come here.”
And there she stood
He knew it was not good
She floated down to meet him
Like something out of theater
She smiled at him and said,
“I am Empress Thea.
You will bow down to me
As your new leader.
And if you won’t, then
Your people will.
They’ll cry out for your blood
To be shed, poured, and spilled.
So I advise you to
Accept the deal.
We know it’s what you want
If love for me you feel.”
And suddenly Chris
Wasn’t thinking clearly
He felt a power so great
It crushed his deepest feelings
Thea said,
“Your soul is so revealing.
I know what you desire–
Obey your heart and feelings.”
Her very energy
Spread through him like poison
He fell to his knees
The darkness right before him
Christoph approached
And said to Empress Thea,
“Go forth
And take your place
As their new leader.”
At that Thea floated away
As she said, “A great people will
Long recall this day.
I have the power to break
And to enslave
I will make fools and cowards
Of even the greatest brains.
Make them betray
Even their deepest faith,
And from this day forward
None of them are safe!”

“NO!” Chris shouted,
But she was gone
He turned to face Christoph
And said, “What have you done?!”
Christoph replied,
“Simply preserved the past.
None of the changes you’ve made
Could ever last.
But our time is an ocean
It’s quite vast
And one drop of change
Is like a storm blast.
And now its waves
Will send you to your grave
Or a living death–
The future where we’re both slaves.
Unlike you, I will
Admit the truth–
No one should ever do
What you’ve allowed her to.
There used to be a people
Proud of you
You were a legend–
Now reduced to bowing, fool.
So bow and scrape
As your betrayers take
And you remain blind
To everything that’s at stake!
You were a god,
For God’s sake!
Now you’re a shell,
A broken man to hate!”
And so his rage
Became an open gate
And Chris stood at last
Now to retaliate
Chris said, “And now I know
At last.
I should have killed you
When I had the chance.
And it was on this day
The chance came.
I held back before
But no more mistakes.
I’m going to kill you–
That will fix the future!
If we are both dead
There’s nothing they can do to us!”
And so exploded
The air as he flew forward
The Realm was at stake
And they met to fight for it…

Raps of the Christopherian Realm #19 (A Sci-Fi Rap, Continued…)

This is Concourse One!
We’re engaging Gauntlet-2–
We could use your help on this one!”
“Copy that,”
Christina said, shaking,
“We’ll be sending Christopher Star II
For safety.”
Then Christina
Entered the command codes
For the Star II
And assumed control
The ship began to come about
And unleashed a barrage
Of fire from its mouth
The firepower greatly slowed
The Gauntlet
But then she looked and saw
The other one wasn’t stopped yet
Was recharging its guns
“Your Highness–look!
The Gauntlet’s not done!”
“I don’t know–
We can’t handle both!
Withdraw and provide cover fire
For the other folks!
We’ve no choice
But to relaunch the fighters.
Ace Squadron, space is yours
You are required.”

Concourse One
Was taking quite a pounding
The crew’s eyes were gaping
Gauntlet-2 was astounding
They traded blows
And ships were getting close
A fire broke out on the bridge
Chris grabbed a hose
And then the ship started to shudder
“Maneuvering jets are done
We need cover!”
And just then,
The Christopher Star II
Emerged right in front of them
And blocked them from all view
It took hits
But gave them back quickly
It looked like a stalemate
But then something sickly
Emerged from a port on Gauntlet-2
And Concourse One
Wondered what it was about to do
It was a chain
Linked to a strange
Beam of energy
That was causing great pain
The Star II
Was about to be rammed
The Gauntlet got closer
It was Star‘s last stand
Then Ace Squadron
Swung up from below
And fired all its weapons
And made the chain explode
“Ace Leader,
Scratch one chain!
I think in that tactic
A weakness might remain!”
King Christopher said,
“I see your point!
The chain came out
From a critical joint!
If we can make them
Do that again,
Then maybe Gauntlet-2’s
Days are coming to an end!”
“We’ll make a run
To take out its guns
Ace Squadron, form up
It’s time for them to get some!”

And just as Ace Squadron
Made it to the right half
Sun-shaped ships emerged from nowhere:
I count a massive legion!
There’s too many of them
For us to defeat them!”
Concourse One!
This is Warhammer!
Fzzzt!  More fight–zz”
“Our signal’s jamming!
Ace Squadron, check your port side!
I count thirty-five more
IDAFs to arrive!”
And then the screams
Would echo through the bridge
“No!  No!
They were just kids!”
“Sir, what do you want for us to do?
There’s no more chance
Of stopping them, we’re through!”
Just then the bridge
Started turning sideways
Everyone grabbed onto something
And held it tightly
“Sir?  Gauntlet-2’s getting closer.
I think they want to ram us
Here, we’re too exposed, sir.”
“Fall back!
We have to retreat!
There’s nothing more to do here!
It ends in defeat!”

And King Christopher
Held his head in shame
But the cut on his head meant
It may have been in pain
And all those lives lost
In vain
All so they could save
One person–it was strange
But then the ship
Was starting to shatter
And he waited for the end
Maybe none of it would matter
He was knocked from his
Place on the bridge
There was ringing in his ears
And more pain in his head
He couldn’t quite hear what was said
“Sir!  The Gauntlet-2!
It’s dead!”
He stumbled once, then got
To his feet
And shook his head slowly–
It had to be a deceit
Because what he saw
Didn’t seem right
A woman in a dress
Who had just won the fight
And then a strange aura
Surrounded her
She looked right at him
And then turned around again
She flew right into Gauntlet-1
And shattered it as if
It was made from glass or something
Everyone stopped
What they were doing
And stared out in disbelief–
She wasn’t human
“Sir!  Look–you’re not
Going to believe it.
A closer look shows that
This is Corporal Thea!”
“What?  Is communication up?
I need confirmation
Of this information.”
Concourse One,
This is Warhammer.
I’m seeing something here
And I’m not understanding it.”
“Believe me,
I’m seeing the same thing.”
“Hello,” Thea said.
“I’ve rescued you, my King.”
She got closer
And phased through the window
They couldn’t understand
How Thea had entered in, though
“I’ve rescued all of you
That I could, friends.
With the power I have now,
All of this can end.
We’re heading home.
Christopher is alone–
I believe he has offered himself
To let us go.
I fear that we may never know.
But he granted me the strength
To give us salvation.
All of you should
Return to your stations.
I promise I’ll explain
All that happened to me later…”

Raps of the Christopherian Realm #18 (A Sci-Fi Rap, Continued…)

As Christopher
Disappeared inside
His fleet wondered if
He was out of his mind
They had no idea
What he would find
But for such questions
There was no time
This is Concourse One.
Damage report–
You took heavy fire from guns!
Please respond!
Is all your crew gone?
We’ll come about and cover you!
Please, just hang on!”
“This is Queen Christina
Commanding Warhammer!
We’re hit, but the ship
Can withstand the damage.
Minimal casualties
Off to our port.
Bring us about
Forty-five degrees if possible.
We’re going to fire from our
Starboard side
Then take us in at full speed
Until we’re inside
The right angle
This fire’s enough to strangle us
Watch your flank, Concourse One
This is dangerous!
All commands:
I have made a decision–
Whatever it takes
We will hold this position
Until or unless Chris
Returns from his mission.
No retreat–
Either we’re dying or we’re living.”

Just as Queen Christina finished
Get Tough and Starlit
Were entering the bridge with
Some vital data
That they needed to give her
“Command codes for the
Christopher Star II.
He said to trust no one
With this, except for you,”
Starlit said,
“Now I’m going–
My place is out in space
With the Captain
We’ve got a battle station to face.”
The fire is too thick
You wouldn’t last a minute
Inside a lone starship!
We’ve had to pull back
Ace Squadron!
I won’t let you burn out there–
It’s like a cauldron!”
Starlit said, “Your Highness,
I hear what you’ve said.
But if all of us stay on board
This ship, we’re dead.
Someone has to go up close
And see
If there’s a weakness
In the Gauntlet that’ll lead to its defeat.
It’s the only way
To buy us some time
And maybe even give us
A chance to survive.”
Christina took her hand and said,
“You’ve been a good friend.
I’m saying it now
If I don’t see you again.”
Starlit smiled tersely, said,
“You will.
I’ll do my best not to
Get myself killed.”
Just then, the Warhammer
Was rattled,
Turning Queen Christina’s attention
To the battle

Space Captain, go!
You’re cleared for top speed!”
And so the Space Captain
Eagerly did heed
Dropped down from
A hole in the hangar
Straight into a maelstrom
Of lasers and danger
But to danger,
Their ship was no stranger
Get Tough shouted in anger.
“I think they scratched up
My paint job!
I need to calculate
A great path to face them!”
Starlit said,
“You’re not doing what I think you’re doing?”
Get Tough said, “Actually,
I am, woman–
If we can travel much
Faster than their lasers,
We can carry out our objective
Much safer!”
“You’re talking about
Faster-than-light combat!
Don’t be stupid, please, man–
Just stop that!”
“The Space Captain‘s
The only ship that can do this!
Just strap yourself in–
I’m about to act foolish!”
It was unbelievable
Utterly inconceivable
The ship disappeared
Into streaks of light and streaked through
Starlit could only watch, baffled
As the lasers that
Should’ve destroyed them crawled past them
It was like
They were in ten different places
Her mind started suffering
From temporal displacement
Then it was gone
She started to drop bombs
The whole surface of
Gauntlet-1 dispersed with
A payload of
Explosive disbursements
“We’ve been hit!
The ship is unstable!
But sensors show the Gauntlet’s
Jets are disabled!
She can’t maneuver, Warhammer!
So just shoot her!”
And just as they were telling it
There approached the shellship
The Titan’s Bellow
Its lights were flashing yellow
Then they went red
And then Get Tough said,
“Whoa!  Titan’s Bellow‘s got gifts!
Weapons free, Bellow!
Hit ’em with all your warheads!”
A whole slew of
Clusterbomb warheads
Raced to the surface of
The now-damaged Gauntlet
The blow was near-fatal
And rocked it like a cradle
Starlit saluted it,
“Bye!  See you later!”
And then Christoph’s voice
Came out the box:
“You seem to think that
You can’t be stopped.
Too bad, because
That’s where you’re wrong.
The two of you are nothing
But a problem to be solved.”
And then a light blinked
On their sensor station–
The screen called out:
“Imminent detonation…”

Space Captain!
Come in!  Space Captain!”
Christina shouted, but
She got nothing but static.
“Can we confirm
The Captain‘s status?”
“Ma’am, it’s confirmed–
Catastrophic damage.
Ma’am…they knew the cost.
Sensors here are showing…
All lives lost…”

Raps of the Christopherian Realm #17 (A Sci-Fi Rap, Continued…)

“We stand on the precipice.
We know the score.
The battle just ahead of us
Could end the war.
So I’m asking you all
To stay the course
As we’re going to the Netherworld
In full force.
Those who fear for
What we leave behind
Don’t stress yourself out
Here’s what I have in mind:
A fort that is named
To bring hope
To protect our homes
And I name it Fort GHOAT.
A squad of troops
Will form a regiment
Tasked with the mission
To watch home and protect it.
So all volunteers
Raise your hands.
It will be your job
To maintain the homeland.
The rest of you,
Get to your stations.”
And so the stage is set
For a great confrontation…

They lift off and head
Straight for the wormhole
“This is the battle
That we have all served for,”
Chris said,
“And the one we’ve searched for.
We have to stop Christoph now
Before he hurts more.”
He felt grim
And suddenly scared again
For in that moment
He found he cared again
And he belonged
With the people that he loved
He could still see the dead
All covered in blood
And he looked at
His hands again
Wondering if they’ll be stained
Because of plans of his
So far his efforts
To change the future
Had yielded uncertain results
It could be useless
He tried to change things
Arrived at the same things
That’s a summary
Of exactly what this day means
He looked at the calendar–
The sixteenth of January
A good day.  On this day,
He had a man to bury…

The shellship emerged
From the wormhole surrounded
The twin battle stations
Gave it quite a pounding
Chris said, “All vessels
Sound off.”
Concourse One here.”
“Check, Christopher Star.”
Warhammer, all weapons
Are green.”
“This is Ace Leader,
We’ll fly cover for the fleet.”
But they could do
Nothing but watch
As the Titan’s Bellow passed between
A multitude of shots
And finally the shellship
Was safe
From the battle stations’ weapons
And well out of range
Chris said, “All ships deploy.
Shellship release, we have a foe to destroy.”
The shellship
Separated in half
And the three warships
Started travelling fast
The space left in front of them
Was vast
And there appeared to be
No obstacles in their path
“Full ahead,” Chris said,
“We’re in the clear.
The Master Code Input
Is not far from here.”
But he had barely
Finished up the sentence
When two gargantuan fists
The color of crimson
Emerged suddenly from another dimension
Bearing down towards the fleet
And raising tension
Christopher Star II,
The fleet will try to guard you!
Get to the objective!
We won’t let them harm you!”
“This is Concourse One
What are we going to do?
The scanners show these fists
Are Gauntlet-class warships!
We don’t have anything
That will scratch them!
We’d just be wasting our lives
If we attack them!
I strongly urge that
We all retreat!
This is a trap designed to
Decimate our fleet!”
Chris plunged his ship ahead and said,
“I understand!
Save whatever lives you can.
But to me,
It makes no difference.
I’ll risk myself alone
And still go the distance.”
“Sir, I’d be the first
To wish you godspeed
But I think I’d best
Reserve that for the starfleet.”
Just then, the Gauntlets
Gave an answer
A legion of missiles
About to cause a massive
Ships blowing holes and
People flying out into space
And nearly frozen
But the Christopher Star II
Carried on–
The loss of life
Could be fixed if he still won
He decided to
Leave behind his ship
And fly off himself
To face the enemy quickly
It was time
The Master Code Input
Would be the key
To ending this conflict for good…

Raps of the Christopherian Realm #16 (A Sci-Fi Rap, Continued…)

Chris wanted to
Create a different outcome
He made a new ruling group–
The High Council
Composed of
The people he knew well:
Christopher, Christina,
Audrey and Lyselle
They weren’t there to
Keep Chris in check
So much as they were there
‘Cause he needed their respect
Now that they knew
That he was here
He expected the people
Would greet him with fear
And what would compound
The people’s dread
Was the only one who
Could vouch for him was dead
They needed to take time
And consult
So they could single-mindedly
Command the assault
But from the start
The Council was divided–
About his authority
They were undecided
“Who are you?”
Queen Christina said.
“You expect us to trust
The word of one who’s dead?
And this Christoph
Seemed to know you.
What if you showed up here
‘Cause you were told to?
A false god
Designed to lead our people
Straight into a trap
And servitude to evil.”
“With respect, Your Highness,”
Audrey said,
“I think we should consider
A different view instead.
Without him as a check
Against Christoph,
Our chances of surviving here
Are quite dismal.
No one else can oppose him–
He’s the only one.
Would you rather suffer
The fate of Lionia?”
Christopher said,
“We all feel the tragedy.
Our hearts are heavy
As we recall that catastrophe.
This war has to come
To an end,
And if this is your agenda,
I welcome you as friend.”
Lyselle said,
“I, too, will stand with Chris.
We can’t spare the time
For fully understanding this.
I’m sure you know
We have a war to win,
And in the midst of that
We have to rescue our friend.”
Despite her misgivings
About Thea,
Even Queen Christina
For rescue was eager:
“But our resources
Are quite meager.
Without a fleet
How can we ever hope to retrieve her?”
Chris said, “We have the power
Of Warhammer
And another ship, Concourse One
Is still standing.
The Christopher Star II is ready.
With new armor and new weaponry,
It’s deadly.
And now to devise a plan.
We’re outgunned–the enemy
Clearly has the upper hand.
But I have a
New class of vessel–
A Shellship I like to call
The Titan’s Bellow.
Its two halves will
Encase the fleet
Then deploy and protect the flanks
Until we reach it–
Once we run past
Oulon I and II
I’ll assault the
Master Code Input ahead of you
If we disable it
Then we can move ahead
And put an end to
Christoph’s madness at Impreg.
If we can shatter his army
He’ll be helpless
And we’ll end this war
And still live to tell of it.
Maybe there is still
A little bit of hope,
So I’m asking for your help
To put it to a vote.”

So they called it
A federal emergency
And asked for the Congress
To vote with some urgency
But the people
Couldn’t really understand
And Congress voted against Chris
For command
“Fine,” Chris said,
“But I have the fleet.
If you want to end the war,
You have to come with me.
Maybe you don’t need
My brand of governing
But there are other fires
That still need a smothering.
I call upon
All volunteers:
If you want to rescue Thea,
Your chance is right here.”
And so the people
Flocked to his command
And his regency was backed
By popular demand
Congress was forced
To change their minds
So they agreed to
Take up the vote another time
And so the stage was set
For what would be
The most fated battle
In the nation’s history
By offering the people liberty,
Chris already felt
He had achieved a victory…

Meanwhile, at the
Master Code Input
Christoph explained that
He was up to no good:
“It will be a most grand finale.
Many today will enter Death’s valley.
And when we finally take a tally,
The Christopherians will die here…
This is the price
Of trying to silence me.
I will bring an end
To all who don’t bow to me…”

Raps of the Christopherian Realm #15 (A Sci-Fi Rap, Continued…)

“Bend the knees now,”
Christoph said,
“And you may well
Leave this place with your heads!
I have done enough waiting
Run out of patience
It’s time for you to see
The failure you put your faith in!
Christopher, you’ve made yourself sacred.
If you’re a god to them,
Then I’ll be your Satan.”
“We will never surrender
To your evil!”
Christopher said,
“I will fight beside my people!”
At that, Christoph began laughing
And before anyone could react
To what had happened
He raised a hand
And a power like a black sand
Swept away every single
Woman and man,
Until Chris alone
Was left to stand
Christoph said,
“Now, do you understand?
There is no one else but me!
Now we will meet
And you’ll go down in defeat!”
And so Chris
Took off flying
At a speed best described
As death-defying
Their fists met
With a powerful shockwave
That made the whole planet shake
Like an earthquake
And Chris’ army
Wasn’t understanding
They were thrown back again
From where they were standing
At a distance
Weaker than some kittens
In awe of the sight
Of these titans throwing fists
And Chris grabs Christoph
By the leg
And ends up getting body slammed
By him instead
He fired back
With a kick to the head
Knocked Christoph back
And felt a bit of dread
Christoph wiped black blood
With a sleeve
And said, “You can’t
Hope to change history!
So it has been,
And so it shall be!
This is the way
Of all immortal enemies!
So you are helpless
As can be, old friend.
The battle once fought
Will be happening once again!”

With that,
The evil villain flew away
And Chris did everything he could
To give chase
And then it happened
As he’d feared
He set his sights on Thea
And got near her
“Oh, yes–
The damsel in distress.
Pathetic old tripe
Repeated nonetheless.
And she is but
A pawn on the board
The beginning of the end
Of our private little war.”
He raised a hand
And he and Thea were gone
Leaving Chris with a stunned
Expression right upon
His face as his brain
Processed the information
It was time to regroup
For a final confrontation

Garg retreated with his troops
To the south pole
To the swamps
Where the fog still had a hold
Adablaster, in cuffs, said,
“Where’s your master?
I thought he would judge me
A traitorous disaster.
And now it seems
He could care less.
I guess he saw your tactics
And wasn’t that impressed!”
Garg said, “We will
Make camp here.
Not another word from you
Now, you hear?
Perhaps we can take our failure
And turn it into something
That will help us later…”

Meanwhile at the
Intelligence Bureau
Chris went over all the data
Thea was thorough
Fordius sent a last transmission
Of the data she was given
On his fatal mission
There was data
On twin battle stations
Oulon I and II
In guard formation
There was a wormhole
That led to the Netherworld
They could take the fight there
And then create a better world
Christoph resided
On the planet Impreg
A tower built above a crystal
Was his weakness
Better still, there was
News that was good
The location of a base called
The Master Code Input
Where instuctions
Could be given to the armies
Plant a virus there
And it would shut down their bodies
If they could do it
Then they’d march unopposed
To Christoph’s lair
And put an end to their foes
But at this center
Called the MCI
Chris remembered then
That many people died
In his past, this battle
Was an entrapment
Thea was turned
Into a weapon that attacked them
And even Chris himself
Was gravely wounded
And nothing to this day
Was the same because of losing
He nearly died
But made it out alive
Because of Agent Fordius Tack
By his side
But in this time,
Fordius was dead
So Chris would have to find
A better way instead
“I have no choice
But to order an attack
Even though I know
We’re headed into a trap.
Thea’s beloved
And crucial to our morale
So we have to go save her
We have to go now.
One absolute ruler
Will be needed.
I name myself
High Regent of the Kingdom
And order a new version
Of our fleet–
We depart the very second
The ships are complete…”

Raps of the Christopherian Realm #14 (A Sci-Fi Rap, Continued…)

There is a place in the Realm
It’s called the Paradox
There you can exist
And at the same time not
A terrible place
Created by the future
Forces out of place
From facing the Tribunal
And this Paradox
Was a prison
A monster was held there
By one joint decision
A monster
In the form of a man
Suspended in air by
Nonexistent hands
He was draped in black
And named Scepter
He dreamed of a world
Where his reign was accepted
He gained his power
From a very dark place
Born from the rage of
Christopher’s burning hatred
With him around
The State wasn’t safe
So they had to find a way
Some method to contain him
But every so often
A hate that was strong
Would undo his chains
So that he could do wrong
And no one in the Realm
Could hurt him
Except Christopher and Christoph
If they’re working
Together, then maybe
They can chain him forever
But the future is changing
To the age of Scepter
Dark emanations
Are changing the future
He senses the change
And it dissolves his chains
With eyes black, crimson,
And insane
He returns to the past
To make it everlasting
His very name–
With terror it is mentioned
This is the beginning
Of Scepter’s Ascension…

Christopher’s arrival
On Planet C was curious
He entered atmosphere
Without fear, and furious
And the King was confused
About the concept
How could he fly like that
Without a starship?
Chris flew to them
The wind whipped his cape
He stood tall and said to them:
“Don’t be afraid.
You don’t know me yet,
But I’m a friend.
I’m here to see this battle
Through to the end.”
Thea approached him
And handed him some data:
“In case something happens
You’ll have it to read later.
It concerns our most
Critical mission.
Only in your hands
Will rest the right decision.”
Though most were unsure
Of his intentions
It went without mention
As he joined them in the trenches
After all, it seemed that
Thea trusted him
And Thea was regarded
As honorable amongst them
They all turned
Their collective attentions
To the massive rumbling
Noises in the distance
Would one person
Really make a difference
Or would the phalanx of tanks
Pound them into insignificance?

The Space Captain
Was first to be attacking
Dr. Steven unwrapped
His soldiers from their packaging
The first one was called W2
Short for Weapon Warrior
With multiple tools
The second had an eyepatch
His name was Cybot
He had a hoverboard to soar
Because, why not?
The crystal in his eye
Made a focused laser
Powerful enough
To create multiple craters
And so they spread out
‘Cause it was time to get out
“We need to start a bombing run–
So get the lead out!”
The Space Captain
Dropped into the action
Strafing tanks and
Blowing them way off the map and
Starlit said,
“We can’t keep up the bombing!
There’s troops down there–
We cannot risk our army!”
Get Tough sighed,
“Always gotta be the hard way!
Forgive me for helping–
I’ll get up out of y’all’s way!”
And so he joined
Steven’s bots in destroying
But onward came the forces
That Garg was employing

“Begin bombardment!
Increase your range of targets!”
Garg said, as he saw
His tanks were hard hit.
“Your fight is stronger, perhaps,
But you have honor.
This is the only chink
Upon your armor.”

Meanwhile, at the other end
Of the battle
Christopher and army
Ducked as earth rattled
He told them
To aim with grenades
And right after such precision
They would change their positions
They were able to destroy
Some front tanks
And many more behind them
Were blown at point blank
‘Cause each grenade
Was equipped with a warhead
Detaching itself
And shooting off with a laser grid
The tanks behind would get it
Like the tanks ahead
“The smoke is thick!
Start the charge!” Christopher said.
And so they rose up
From the trenches
To take on the tanks
And all of Garg’s henchmen
They kicked faces in
Destroyed gun emplacements
Drew swords and took down
Anything that replaced it
And suddenly,
Once the smoke had cleared,
A man in gray appeared–
Christoph was here…

Like a Jedi Fighting a Dog in a Canoe (An Unusual Star Wars Love Song)

First Order of business
Is smother you with kisses
Offer no Resistance
‘Cause you’re the one I’m missing
My heart is warm like Jakku
There’s nothing I would not do
If you fall, I’ve got you
My saga’s all about you

I’m like a Jedi fighting a dog
In a cano-o-o-oe
I’m like a Jedi fighting a dog
In a cano-o-o-oe
How ’bout you?

Our love is easy Peazy
It won’t take much to please me
I really think that you’re great
I’ll be rolling with you like BB-8
No matter where my heart goes
I will never treat you like Sarco
I’ll be your wingmate like I’m Poe
Together we’ll face the unknown

I’m like a Jedi fighting a dog
In a cano-o-o-oe
I’m like a Jedi fighting a dog
In a cano-o-o-oe
How ’bout you?

Baby our love’s the closest
Like we are on Geonosis
And when you’re feeling hopeless
Through the disturbance I’ll notice
And if this song makes no sense
You’ll understand if you focus
Like midichlorians speak to me
I will be there when you need me

I’m like a Jedi fighting a dog
In a cano-o-o-oe
I’m like a Jedi fighting a dog
In a cano-o-o-oe
How ’bout you?

You never will be lonely
I won’t disappear like Kenobi
And if a rancor holds me
You’ll throw a bone into both its teeth
I’m like the Force on a hard day
Because I’m with you always

I’m like a Jedi fighting a dog
In a cano-o-o-oe
How ’bout you?

The Menu’s on the Wall (Parody of Sam Smith’s “Writing’s on the Wall”)

I’ve been fed before
I always crave some more
Though I’m eating a baked chicken
I actually wanted steak
And while my piece of fish has bones in it
I was asking for fillet
Not understanding this
Was it something that I missed?
Though the menu even has numbers
Somehow they still manage a mistake
And when this food goes down my belly
I know that it will feel betrayed

Should I bake at all?
Would it taste like chalk?
How do I cook?  How do I eat?
If I go to Wendy’s for something I’ll weep
I will go straight to KFC
Where I can get green beans
And extra gravy
For you, I’ll gladly eat it all
‘Cause the menu’s on the wall

I ate all-day breakfast
They burned my McMuffin
And when I asked for extra ketchup
The cashier already turned away
And when she turned around and looked up
She said, “It’s ten dollars thirty-eight.”
And much to my chagrin
I got some dry chicken
With a tiny splotch of mayonnaise
And the lettuce had seen better days
I should have backed out of the drive thru
Because there’s got to be a better way

Should I bake at all?
Would it taste like chalk?
How do I cook?  How do I eat?
If I go to Wendy’s for something I’ll weep
I will go straight to KFC
Where I can get green beans
And extra gravy
How do I cook?  How do I eat?
If I go to Wendy’s for something I’ll weep
I want a good lunch
No, that’s what I need
I want it without a delivery fee
For you, I’ll gladly eat it all
For you, I’ll gladly eat it all
‘Cause the menu’s on
The wall

Those Eyes of Yours — Part 3 (A Song)

So it looks like
I won’t see you again
And this is where it ends
I wish we had been friends
Or that I could have said
Just what I meant:
It’s like you’re heaven-sent
And truly angelic

So I bid farewell to
Those eyes of yours
But I will look once more
Because it’s what they’re for
If only I could dream of
Those eyes of yours
But I will look once more
And then I won’t see you anymore

If only I had a picture
Of your smile
I’ll keep one in my heart
Since pictures can be lost
I’m glad that you passed
Through here for a while
‘Cause even though you’re gone
The memories are not

So I bid farewell to
Those eyes of yours
But I will look once more
Because it’s what they’re for
If only I could dream of
Those eyes of yours
But I will look once more
And then I won’t see you anymore

The good thing is that I’m
Not even heartbroken
My heart was briefly stolen
Funny you didn’t know it
A moment in time
That for me is now frozen
I know I can’t forget
Those lovely eyes
Long as I live

And that was the thing that
Truly did scare me
When I looked at you
I wondered if you knew
And is it so wrong that
A man does dare dream?
Maybe it should be
But I’m glad it still happens to me

So I bid farewell to
Those eyes of yours
But I will look once more
Because it’s what they’re for
If only I could dream of
Those eyes of yours
But I will look once more
And then I won’t see you anymore