Monthly Archives: February 2016

Blame Me

Half a heart and
Half a man
Have you gone far away?
Is that your plan?
Coming home and
Can’t hear the children playing
So alone
‘Cause I couldn’t make you stay with me
Breaking down
When I see a picture of innocence and love
The only sound
Is the emptiness from what I’ve given up

You can blame me
Because I’m changing
But I’m the same me
And I’m sorry that
I ever made you leave
You can blame me
For the same things
But I’ve been waiting
‘Cause our love has died and I
Can hardly breathe

“Sign the papers,”
She said, as if that were a simple thing
But I don’t hate her
I’m saddened that she started to hate me
I tried to save her
It seems my cape pulled me out of the sky
And now or later
I’m feeling like I’ve been ripped out to die
My heart is crying out on every night
I don’t sleep as well without her by my side

You can blame me
Because I’m changing
But I’m the same me
And I’m sorry that
I ever made you leave
You can blame me
For the same things
But I’ve been waiting
‘Cause our love has died and I
Can hardly breathe

I’m feeling older
Because behind each smile of mine
Is deepest pain
So is it over?
I feel like I will never
Live down the shame
You should know that
I cherished every moment
Here with you
But I can’t go back
Not unless you change your mind
And love me too
I don’t think that’s something
You will ever do

You can blame me
Because I’m changing
But I’m the same me
And I’m sorry that
I ever made you leave
You can blame me
For the same things
But I’ve been waiting
‘Cause our love has died and I
Can hardly breathe

 

Commentary:

This and my previous song, “Obsessed”, are inspired by true events.  I was inspired to write “Obsessed” because I realized I hadn’t really delved into the intimate side of love, and the chorus popped into my head, in typical fashion, while I was trying to go to bed.  I’m usually a bit squeamish as far as writing about that sort of thing, but I decided to try it anyway.  (What am I thinking about at bedtime?  Probably something I’m unlikely to be doing anytime soon…so there you have it.)

“Blame Me” also came out of nowhere, and it seemed fitting to write about the end of a relationship just as I’d written about the beginning.  This is not a song I wrote because my marriage is ending (at least not that I am aware of), but is instead inspired by a time when it was in jeopardy and she was gone, nearly five years ago.  I often think about that time, but I’ve never written any songs about it until today.  Thanks for reading.  I appreciate the few likes I have gotten and I hope to keep writing more.  Hopefully, I have written something at some point that touches someone’s heart out there.

Advertisements

Obsessed

How suddenly I
Remember that night
I went to say goodbye
And to my surprise
You’re kissing me
So very intensely
It’s so good I can’t believe
How I’ve been denied
From holding you tight
I’ll do what you like
Till the morning light
You’re my fantasy
And now your hands are touching me
Can’t get enough of me
And you make me want to

Lose all control
Forget what you know
Forget where you are
Or where you want to go
And nothing else unless
You’re getting me undressed
You’re making me obsessed
Lose all my clothes
Forget what I know
Forget where I am
Or where I want to go
Cancelled all my plans
Because I know what’s next
You’re making me obsessed

I should have hit the door
But we’re on the floor
The more we explore
The more I want more
You’re so heavenly
I think this is what heaven must be
‘Cause it feels like eternity
You’ve made love to me
I’m lucky to be
The one that you please
You’re setting me free
Where do I begin?
How all my senses take in
As I trace my fingers on your skin
And you make me want to

Lose all control
Forget what you know
Forget where you are
Or where you want to go
And nothing else unless
You’re getting me undressed
You’re making me obsessed
Lose all my clothes
Forget what I know
Forget where I am
Or where I want to go
Cancelled all my plans
Because I know what’s next
You’re making me obsessed

And all the stars aligned
For you and I tonight
And they can call it wrong
But you and I are right
And I don’t care anymore
I want you in my life
And I can’t let you go
‘Cause our moment has arrived
And you make me want to

Lose all control
Forget what you know
Forget where you are
Or where you want to go
And nothing else unless
You’re getting me undressed
You’re making me obsessed
Lose all my clothes
Forget what I know
Forget where I am
Or where I want to go
Cancelled all my plans
Because I know what’s next
You’re making me obsessed
I want you today
In the worst of ways
As our bodies play
The lovers’ kind of games
I need to love you
And I won’t settle for less
‘Cause you’re making me obsessed

See Through

I am smiling
When I see you
Look my way
I am trying
Not to dream you’d
Want to stay
I am yearning
For a love like
In my dreams
I am hurting
‘Cause my love life’s
Not likely
Yet I’m hoping
That you notice me
Like I do you
‘Cause I’m lonely
And not knowing
What I can do

When I see you
Can you see through
To my thoughts?
But I need you
Not to see through
Me at all
‘Cause I don’t want a broken heart

I saw you
Just last night and
I pretended
Like I’d never
Met you in life
But I can’t win
‘Cause I’d love to
Get to know you
But I can’t
I’ve had enough to
See what lovers do
And understand
That the one you
Choose to run to
Breaks your heart
But like this, I can
From a distance
Spare my loss

When I see you
Can you see through
To my thoughts?
But I need you
Not to see through
Me at all
‘Cause I don’t want a broken heart

And yet I’d love to
Learn to love you
Perhaps someday
And I’m dreaming
Of an evening
In a cafe
And you’d smile at me
For awhile at least
And I’d feel like
Maybe finally
Love won’t lie to me
That would be nice–
But that just isn’t from real life

When I see you
Can you see through
To my thoughts?
But I need you
Not to see through
Me at all
‘Cause I don’t want a broken heart
When I see you
Can you see through
To my thoughts?
But I need you
Not to see through
Me at all
‘Cause I don’t want a broken heart

Raps of the Christopherian Realm #28 (A Sci-Fi Rap, Continued…)

One tired foot placed
In front of the other
Chris began his journey
A process to recover
All that was lost
Bring hope to the cause
But what would be required of him
It gave him pause
How could he take back
His home from the heartless
Without ending up
Being drawn to the darkness?
After all they had shared
She betrayed him
And inexplicably
It was Christoph who saved him
There were days and moments
In his life
When he wondered if he knew
Anymore what was right
And as the longest day
Became night
His mind conjured up
A most frightening sight
This wasn’t happening–
He heard a twisted laughter
Saw a dark figure
Who was staring right at him
“You can’t be real–
You’re not even here.
You’re just the product
Of my own imagined fears!”

Oh, no. I’m here,
And I’m real.
I dwell beneath
Every evil thought that you feel.
You kept feeding me.
Of course you believe in me!
With all you have suffered
I am certain you needed me.
And so, here I am,
Declared Scepter,
The hour has come
For us to rule together.
Only when we are one
Can we be saved.
We will never again
Have to live as though we’re slaves.
Let their souls be clothed
In black linen.
Separate the women among you,
And kill them!
His voice became
A tortured echo:
Kill them all! Kill them!
They’ll never accept you!
“You’re insane!
You should be ashamed!
The women aren’t to blame
In spite of what you claim!”
Does it matter,
If murder is what you need?
You want to see them bleed.
You want to see them on their knees.
You want to see their children
Beg and plead
As you end them–
It doesn’t matter what you believe.
The hate within you
Is just the same as me
And I feed off of it
Like the air that you breathe.
You have love for me–
You can’t hope to smother me
Accept my embrace
With the warmth of the brotherly.
Yield to me.
I will sate all your urges.
I will make all our foes
Offer mourning and dirges.
Instead of praying to
A goddess who loves none,
Let them be destroyed
By a god who loves one.
We need serve no one
But ourselves!
With all that you gave them
You know it full well!
At best, they fear you
And don’t want to hear you
And women themselves
Don’t even want to be near you.
Yet you’re magnificent!
You’re brilliant, divine!
Subjecting yourself to them
Denigrates your mind!
And it’s only
A matter of time
Till you wake up and realize
That Scepter was right.

He drew nearer
And whispered in his ear,
If they wish to know it
We can both teach them fear.
Why wait another
Twenty odd years
When our chance to remove
All our chains is right here?
He touched Chris’ head and then said,
Now, join me.
Our ascension together
Is a blessed anointing.
We can end this
Never-ending battle
We can go to the future
And even kill Shadows.
And at last, it will be
You and me
Standing tall at the zenith
Of our final victory.
No need to dream it
Because you have seen it
We would be immortal
As our foes lay defeated.
And our attire
Will be drenched in their blood.
They’ll see this reward
For they give hate as love.
And at last
All the traitors will die
And will carry to the grave
The remains of their lies.
Witness the beginning
Of our salvation.
Join me, and let us
Recreate our nation.

At that Scepter broke
His own scepter in two
And he said, “Rulership
Is what I offer to you.
Take it, my friend
And return to your place!
Our destiny is now
And our reign shall be great!
Chris replied, “We sealed you away
For a reason!
Get behind me,
You son of a demon!
Justice means much more
Than getting even.
And a scepter raised in hate
Gives them nothing to believe in.”
You fool!
Senseless little tool!
Scepter roared,
This is why only one of us can rule!
Everyone on your side
Has now left you!
So if you won’t join me,
I’ll have to possess you!

Scepter’s body disappeared
Into ashes
And atom by atom it
Began to attack Chris
Bearing down with
The weight of his hate
The pain was unbearable
And Chris touched his face
His hand came away
With black ashes
That started to burn up
His hand like it was acid
And Chris was shaking
He fell to his knees
As the ashes took over
His body like a disease
Only death can ever
Bring you relief,” Scepter said,
And every one of them
Is now due to bleed…

Raps of the Christopherian Realm #27 (A Sci-Fi Rap, Continued…)

After the attack
All memorials were cancelled
Private funerals
Were all that could be safely handled
And for each casualty
They lit a candle
And the King’s accusation
Had created a scandal
People started to hate
Queen Christina
And despite being debriefed
Few really believed her
The King requested
A safety measure–
Cameras were installed
Even in every bedroom
And each day
The bombing was getting replayed
In the hopes of determining
Who actually betrayed
But all the cameras
Were at the wrong angles
The pain of the mystery
Was bad enough to strangle
Whoever did it
Had let the flames consume him
The smoke of the blast
Obscured what he was doing
So whoever he was
He had survived
But without explanation
For why he was alive
The King ordered them
To separate as people
Males and females
Would of course remain equal
But until they could find
His confederates
The King recommended
That they all stay separate
And so the Agency
Was roused from complacency
They watched the cameras
To see–who could the traitor be?
All the people became
Sad and isolated
Then a message went out
To provide their election data
The people voted in line
With all their fears
And after votes were tallied
The decision was clear
The people chose
The most logical leader
A cry went out:
“All hail Empress Thea!
May her rule bring
Justice and peace
And from all fear and death
May there be a relief!”

A smiling Thea
Then appeared on their screens
And explained to the people
Her visions and dreams:
“Today we live
In a state of isolation.
But I promise I
Will bring peace to our nation.
The criminals who violated
Our way of life
Will be found
And after that, I will make it right.
I now expand my power
From its source
And hereby create
A Local Police Force.
They will exist here
To serve and protect
And never again
Will our laws be neglected.
And any terrorist cell
Or those suspected
Will be eliminated–
That is my first directive.
We will give them the mercy
They gave to us.
They will not get a chance
To survive on our trust.
Anyone found neglecting
The curfew–
The LPF will not
Hesitate to hurt you.
For now, remain
In your designated stations.
With my blessing
We will restore our world’s greatness.
We will hunt and wipe out
Any traitors.
Your Empress declares it
And her word is faithful.”

“AND HER WORD IS FAITHFUL!”
They all echoed
Except for a few
Who were already rebels–
Queen Christina, who had
Voted for herself,
Had gathered all of those
Who supported her as well
Normally the people
Would have resisted
The fact that they didn’t
Told her something was different
The people’s fear was replaced
With blind hope
They no longer asked themselves,
What do we fight for?
Power corrupts, but it can
Also blind them
And with chains unseen
The powerful can bind them
So Christina felt a need
To remind them:
“Don’t be fooled by Thea–
This is a coup.
It was staged just to legally take
Your rights from you.
I’m afraid that she staged
The attack
And then used people’s fear
So she could stand on their backs.”

And then Christina
Put a hand to her chest
As the pain was too much
When she heard this address:
“And her word is faithful!
No denying it!
There remain those few souls
Who are defiant!
To distinguish ourselves
From our enemies,
A new flag is born,
That of our Thean Entity!
And those who claim to remain
Christopherians
Will be forced to explain
Why they name themselves nefarious.
Separate yourselves
From those friends of treason!
Their souls remain here,
But soon, they will be leaving!
And those who feign allegiance,
Don’t believe them–
Your neighbor can’t be trusted
If Thea doesn’t love him.
Truly all rebellions
Are as nothing
These liars and their promises
Will bow before your goddess!
I have given you new life
So be thankful!
Your Empress declares it
And her word is faithful!”