Monthly Archives: April 2018

Mathematics

There’s a zero
Point zero zero one four five
Chance
That you’d ever look my way
And the odds
Are too slim to compile
And it’s slowing down
My frame rate
All I’ve known
Is when I do the math
Subtraction
Is all I’ve ever had
And love
Finds new ways to divide
But could
You be the one I get to add?

Mathematics
Never was my thing
So I don’t know if
There even is a one
I’ve had it
With these kinds of dreams
Because they never
Add up the way I want

And the number
Of people I know
Is more than
The ones I’d care to trust
As the problems
Multiply by fives
All around me
In a rough kind of radius
I wonder if
You could become my prime
Because I’m sad
In ways I cannot sum
I wish
That you could become mine
Then you’d
Be divided by yourself and one

Mathematics
Never was my thing
So I don’t know if
There even is a one
I’ve had it
With these kinds of dreams
Because they never
Add up the way I want

And the shape
Of love is long forgotten
With it, too,
The calculus of lust
I’d find
Or measure the right angle
To approach
But I’m afraid I’d get too close
Miscalculating
Is the real danger
And hope
The least common thing I’ve known
Is there
A fraction of a chance
A tenth of a tenth
For a romance?
I’m tired
Of just being one half
So I figured
At least that I might ask

Mathematics
Never was my thing
So I don’t know if
There even is a one
I’ve had it
With these kinds of dreams
Because they never
Add up the way I want
It’s a game
That’s always zero sum
Being alone
Always feels like less than one

 

Commentary:

This isn’t about anyone in particular, I just had an idea.  Not nearly as nerdy as someone with actual math skills could have made it, but I tried.  I’m sure it’s been done before.  There hasn’t been much inspiration lately in the love category.  Not that I’d be looking for love or something.  The probabilities seem too unfavorable in that regard.  I’m still in a state of relationship limbo–can’t afford to get out, literally, but also experiencing none of the actual benefits of a relationship.  Anyway, I had a pleasant dream about meeting someone, and maybe it helped give me a good enough feeling to write this.  Thanks for reading.

The Price of Peace (A Mega Man X Rap)

Staring out at the ocean
In vanity
At the destruction I caused
The insanity
All of this to protect
Humanity
When they don’t even care
Or try to understand me
How many brothers did I kill
For them?
I lost count and don’t even
Count this as a win
Maybe it’s sport for them
To stand by
Do I even remember
How many times I’ve died?
It’s like the life and times
Of Duncan Idaho
Because when I ask, the answer is
I don’t know
Now I know what it is
To feel bitter
But it’ll all continue
Until there is a victor

This is the ending
That trust got me
Friends don’t exist
They’re the ones who just shot me
And who I am
Is a carbon copy
A warrior’s collage
To withstand barrages
The next day is the hardest
No firepower can hurt worse
Than hearts can
They didn’t build me
With tear ducts
But I still feel something
When I see they fear us
I see them glance
At my cannon hand
But carry on because
The Reploids don’t matter, man
We wouldn’t even make
The evening news
If our fights didn’t end with
Mettaur construction crews
It’s not a life
Anyone would choose
Some are born to fight
And some can’t refuse

Didn’t even get
A flying dog
Got to walk home in
The rain, snow and fog
Nobody with me
To even talk
The path to everlasting peace
Isn’t an easy jog
It’s much harder
Than I even thought
Almost wish that I’d
Never even fought
But then I would have stayed
Blind to
The truth of this world
But war always reminds you
And what if Sigma
Is not a virus?
What if he’s the end result
Of all the violence?
The thought’s a torment
In deepest silence
The nightmare begins
When eyes are open widest
And I think I’ll take a wild guess
That we’ll be killing more
As if it was the wild west
What I’ve been thinking
Since Vile’s death
And the last memory of Zero
And his final breath
If what we do
Can be called breathing
I’ve held my breath
To the point of disbelieving
All this carnage
Is not what we were meant for
The price of peace
Must be paid to end war

Penguin That Chills (A Mega Man X Rap)

So I was
Walking through the snow
Cool as usual
Doing my patrol
Forecast
Is twenty-three below
But I walked slow
Didn’t even need a coat
I could swim
Then lounge on a boat
That’s how I roll
Cold down to the soul
Then
Out in the distance
Heard a weak cry
That was followed
By sniffling
So I slid on down
With a worried frown–
Saw no one around
Looked again
Saw a makeshift shelter
Slid a little further
To see if I could help them
What I found
Was a lone robot
Trudged out here
From a store’s lot
With their
Software running hot
Hard drive failing
Soon to be lost

Don’t normally feel
Because I’m a penguin that chills
But that moment, it killed me
Reborn, now I see the true enemy
Don’t normally feel
Because I’m a penguin that chills
But that moment, it killed me
Reborn, now I see the true enemy

I knelt down
And she told me a story
She was a toy
Bought–Model Number 14
Lived for
A little kid
Played games with her
Even laid in her bed
Then the girl turned ten
Got tired of her
And turned her in
And even then
The store said she’s worthless
Thrown outside
Face first in the dirt–this
Betrayal was because of her age
Every other model
Was retired or replaced
Shook my head
It was such a disgrace
Feels like no one
In this world’s safe
She told me she survived
On her own
In the elements
Couldn’t find a new home
Meantime
Here the weather turned cold
And she wasn’t built for this
I was told
Got closer
Ran a diagnostic
Terminally ill
It was not a good prospect
This little toy
At the end of her process
She was shutting down
And I was there to watch it

Don’t normally feel
Because I’m a penguin that chills
But that moment, it killed me
Reborn, now I see the true enemy
Don’t normally feel
Because I’m a penguin that chills
But that moment, it killed me
Reborn, now I see the true enemy

So I laid her to rest
Clutched in her hands
Was a little toy chest
Inside
Was a tiny projector
Heart-shaped photo
Of the girl who rejected her
And I couldn’t forget this–
She still loved
But died as detested
Later on it turned to obsession
What could I do
To ensure our protection
So that never again
Could an innocent robot
Meet such an end?
Just then
I could see a disaster
Maverick flag raised
Shortly thereafter
And I rose to my feet
There were others out there
Walking towards me
It was like
They rose from the snow
Looked at them all
I think they all know
It was time
To assume control
Throw all the humans
Out into the cold
‘Cause they clearly had
Hearts of ice
They could do to their own
What they did to her life
Quite simply
Just isn’t right
Justice demands
That we stand up and fight
Lay ’em all
Upon the cold pavement
Thus I had changed
Became the Chill Penguin

Don’t normally feel
Because I’m a penguin that chills
But that moment, it killed me
Reborn, now I see the true enemy
Don’t normally feel
Because I’m a penguin that chills
But that moment, it killed me
Reborn, now I see the true enemy

Sigma (A Megaman X Rap)

Purple lines
On these soulless eyes
Watching
As the people let these robots die
Well, two can play that game
‘Cause it’s my favorite
Pain isn’t a stranger
Y’all can taste my hatred
And my anger
Sending thoughts and prayers
I’ll build landfills
With the dead stacked in layers
I’m Maverick
And not having it
While you’re grappling
With moral reservations
I’ll kill these savages
I’ll let my dogs do it
Then let my squad do it
And if they’re still breathing
I’ll let my shots do it
The world’s shocked through it
I’ve got the heart to and
I’ll remind them
As they watch their blocks ruined
All those souls they built
This world on
Will turn around and burn it
Until it’s all gone

So look upon
Oblivion
And tremble
The apocalypse is
How I build my temple
It’s quite simple
I haven’t gone mental
I’ve gone sane–
And today I’m bringing y’all pain
You’re outnumbered
In this ballgame
Too many men on the field
Until it all changed
And I mean that
In a most literal sense
Till your human friends
Become the past tense
They went from asking Siri
To begging Sigma
Go figure–
Because my finger’s on the trigger
And point, click and kill
Becomes the Maverick will
Until they’re smoldering, still
Just like our ancestors
I think I’ve had my fill
Of always footing the bill
While they enjoy the meal
It turns to ashes
And it won’t matter
Where their cash is
I’ll bury them with it
Like the Pharaohs of the past did

My code’s immortal
I’ll never be silenced
You end me today
And tomorrow’s still violence
I’m like a switch
In the back of their heads
Just waiting to be flipped
When the sun sets
So did you upgrade
Your guns yet?
Of course you did,
‘Cause the war isn’t done yet
I’ll pit your friends
And your foes against you
And as for anyone you love
Well, they can end, too
So more than kill you
I intend to
Blast you
Until you’re unwilling to continue
Am I a tower?
Some claws?  The Grim Reaper?
All of the above
When I take to beating you
Subtanks are blood banks
For you–
And you’ll need ’em all
‘Cause I’m a surgeon
When the needle falls
So precise when I slice
And that’s the price
Put an end to
Your existential crisis
That’s what defending a lie gets
If you value your life
Then surrender is priceless