Monthly Archives: November 2018

More Porgs, More Problems (Parody of P. Diddy’s “More Money, More Problems”)

You don’t think
Chewie’s flow is great
So you hate
But let Rey from Nowhere translate
First Order agents
Claiming I’m a Mary
Tapped my comm
And my cloaked binary
Never dairy
‘Cause it’s green when he squeezes
Turn away very quickly
Can’t believe it
Barbecue
Roast porgs on the menu
Harder to eat
When you know what they’ve been through
Turn your back on them
And they’re still there
Chewie goes vegan?
Never would he ever dare
And Ben Solo
Lays his soul bare
Force Skype isn’t hype
He’s really sitting there
I’ve seen your rhymes
And you’re not busy
Into the water and
The Force makes me dizzy
So don’t diss me
Or try to kiss me
Been in charge of the game
Since 2015
Lifting rocks?
I can do it quickly
Make AT-ATs
Want to take sick leave

I don’t know what
Rey wants from me
It’s like
The more porgs that we come across
The more problems we see
I don’t know what
Rey wants from me
It’s like
The more porgs that we come across
The more problems we see

Whose Porg?
Who’s bored?
Tell me whose sword?
I’ll sling it to the shore
Time to do chores
To snore
Little more
What I’m here for
Is the same as before
Came to the most distant location
Was hoping not to leave
A trail of information
Want to know why?
I came here to die
I’m not here to talk
I can’t imagine why
Milk and fish will
Do a body good
I’m about to do
What nobody could
Bring it to an end
Because I really should
Jedi at their prime
They did nobody good
Lost to Sidious
Like idiots
Even when they had his face
On videos
Really though?
Can’t kill me though
You stab me with a blade
And I get paid
Even with the haters’ shade
You need a teacher
And Ben? Maybe a t-shirt
Discovered new features
Milked the strange creatures
And then I became a legend
Fast forward to the present
Now I’m living like a peasant
I’m unpleasant
Even when Rey’s incessant
And when I cheat death
It’s like extra credit
The First Order’s debit
About to be rejected
Supreme Leader Snoke
Has just been disconnected
You don’t have to like it
But you will respect it
Trolled my nephew
Through a Force connection

I don’t know what
Rey wants from me
It’s like
The more porgs that we come across
The more problems we see
I don’t know what
Rey wants from me
It’s like
The more porgs that we come across
The more problems we see

It’s Rose with the flows
The fools with their prose
All haters and it shows

FN-2-1-8
Dash 7
Fun with this duo
Turn it to 11

Distracted by the flashy lights
And nice heights
Blind to the fight
That costs people their lives
So look closer
Stay focused
And hope this
Desperate plan
Doesn’t end up as hopeless

Yo, this
Is a perfect combination
To stop the First Order’s
Galactic domination
The frustration
With people’s blind hatred
If the Force isn’t with you
Then nothing can be sacred

They’re 8-bit
Two-dimensional
Betraying
Maybe even racist
I don’t know–just saying
They flipped like
They alone could do the script right
But really it’s all about getting
The most clicks, right?
Quick like
Holdo is when I grip mics
Lightspeed
When I rhyme is most likely

Rightly
It’s a gamble when you fight me

Finn and Rose
Handling flows
Are Force lightning

I don’t know what
Rey wants from me
It’s like
The more porgs that we come across
The more problems we see
I don’t know what
Rey wants from me
It’s like
The more porgs that we come across
The more problems we see