Monthly Archives: January 2019

Grape Hero

I’ll straight handle
A cannibal with my mandibles
Like a sandman
Dismantling all the candles
Rhymes intangible
Flowing like they’re mechanical
Stuck in your head
Like beach does to sandals
Don’t bother to follow
You’re just borrowing sorrow
And if you start
Then I’ll hit you with a Hyper Art
I beat sharks with darts
Skate hard in the parks
Like Bart Simpson nightlights
I glow in the dark
In night fights on the subway train
Shattering glass
Like dynamite
I’m having a blast
I’ll beat Andores
Till they can’t stand more
Punching through massive doors
Till my hand’s sore
A Brainiac
In my hands, you’re Kandor
Repertoire larger by far
Than what you scan for
I’m Rygar, a star
With bars that reach to Mars
I’m F-Zero and y’all
Are just Mario Kart
I’ve got infinite cheat codes
You’ll need those
With these flows
Yo! Noid pizza doughs, I’ll eat those
I pop cartridges out
Like RetroN 2
Get lost dude
The best y’all can do is
Look foolish
Up against my toolkit
Useless like
A jumped-over Hadouken

A Grape Hero
I traipse onto the field
So you can yield
To one of vastly greater skills
You giving up already
Like a Renegade
Not tough enough for me
So get a better play
I got the ammo and stamina
To battle you amateurs
Till the cows go to Canada
For sabbaticals
So if you’re hoping an ocean
Of Hi-Potion consoles you
You can cancel the notion
Because it’s hopeless
I defeated the Great Tiger
By countout
Back in ’99
In Pro Wrestling–a shoutout
So if any of you
Have a doubt about
My retro gaming cred
What are you loud about?
I beat the Turbo Tunnel
Everytime that I play
But I get turned to chum
In the Gargantua
Metal tarantulas
Blasted by chameleon stings
And magic wands are
Handed over to Mushroom kings
Back in the day
I escaped from Camp Deadly
Bet we
Are far from everything you’re expecting

John Elway’s Quarterback
I brought it back
Beat the last stage
And got Mike his daughter back
Defeat eyes with lasers
Got the prize from the haters
A Mirror Shield
Can’t see me on a battlefield
I turn to stone Medusas
With their cloned producers
Sipping on their juices
Laced with alcohol
No way the game seduces
Not ashamed to do this
Even with no music
People mouth it all
I disappear
Like my profile pic
Then boomerang back to it
Like a Quick Man did
From Ultimecia, Cort
To Mr. Dream and Wart
To all the mission reports
On N64
From all the motion sickness
And controllers clicking
As the heartbeat quickens
Still eager for more
A Sega Genesis menace
With a Dreamcast
Best with an NES
And not a keypad
And not a king
In the X-Wing, it’s vexing
Like Chessmaster
I lost till it depressed me
But no point in meandering
I’m handling
Wii remotes like
The Ten Rings of Mandarin
Time to end
With a Flag of Retreat
Till the next time, friends
For these audible treats without beats

Snake Plant

Such a little thing
But given room to grow
Add a little dirt and light
And how far will it go?
It seemed so innocent
So I just let it lie
Like the places that you went
When you left me behind
Are stuck inside my mind

And your plant
Deserve each other
And your plant
Deserve each other
It’s a snake plant
You’re a snake and
It’s a snake plant
You’re a snake and
It’s a snake plant

It grew out of my words
Or so that’s what I’ve heard
If I called that absurd
Then you would be disturbed
I’m sorry that I don’t
Go places that you won’t
Even hesitate to go
Like leaving me alone
Roots ripped out of my soul

And your plant
Deserve each other
And your plant
Deserve each other
It’s a snake plant
You’re a snake and
It’s a snake plant
You’re a snake and
It’s a snake plant

I’m trying not to say
That I am in your way
You say you’re here to stay
Right after you betray
I’m still finding my place
If we’re planted in a space
Our love to cultivate
It may not be too late
But what’s lying in wait?

Do you
And your plant
Deserve each other?
What we have
And deserve each other?
With a snake plant
Am I safe yet?
With the snake plant
For today, yeah
It’s a snake plant

I know nothing about snake plants, and I would guess they’re a good thing in spite of the name. The idea just popped into my head for the song, as I was thinking about the snake plant my wife bought, and I thought it was funny/cheeky, so I couldn’t resist writing it.  (It’s probably quite terrible, from a different perspective, so…sorry, I guess?) It’s somewhat inspired by real feelings, but I’m actually in a pretty good place right now emotionally (compared to 2016/2017, I suppose), so it was admittedly a little tongue-in-cheek, perhaps a bit inspired by the old Taylor Swift (who, as I understand it, is no longer with us, according to ‘Reputation’ Taylor Swift, or would it be TS 2.0, or…? I’m too old to say). Anyway, thanks for reading. I’ve been writing an actual book, but I’m only 52 pages in, so…maybe one day I’ll drop an excerpt or two, see if it gets that 1 Like that I crave more than air (sarcasm).