Picture (Part 3)

I never could seem to
Find the right place for you
Whether beside me
Or eight hundred miles gone so soon
I’m never forgetting
The smell of your hair and your skin
The taste of you heavy
And yet I would still drink you in

So why would you throw
The old picture away
From when you were gone
When you weren’t going to stay?
Is that why you’d throw
The old picture away,
Because it’s all wrong
And never the same?

It’s either you’re running
Or fighting as hard as you can
It’s ether, like nothing
When you pull your disappearance
You don’t have to approach me
With a sword and a shield
I’m broken and hoping
Together we’d learn how to heal

So why would you throw
The old picture away
From when you were gone
When you weren’t going to stay?
Is that why you’d throw
The old picture away,
Because it’s all wrong
And never the same?

You think that
I hate you
Or I’m holding a grudge
Why won’t you
Just let me be
My own judge?
For once I’d
Be grateful
If love is enough
You are the
Only one I’m ever
Thinking of

So why would you throw
The old picture away
From when you were gone
When you weren’t going to stay?
Is that why you’d throw
The old picture away,
Because it’s all wrong
And never the same?

I’m not ashamed to say
That I love you anyway
I’m not a game to play
Not a picture
So please
Don’t throw me away

 

Commentary:

This song just showed up unexpectedly today.  The story behind it is, I happened to bring home a picture of my wife that I’d had on my desk at work, and she removed it from the frame, crumpled it and threw it in the trash.  I was a bit surprised, but she often told me she didn’t like the picture, because she doesn’t like pictures of her by herself.  (Strictly speaking, she wasn’t by herself in the picture; I just liked her smile so much that I cropped out the other person and printed it.)  Some days it was painful to look at her, and maybe that was the real reason I took it off my desk, even though I had other reasons (couldn’t find a spot that made sense to me, given the frame’s size, I’d just rearranged things on the desk, and so on).

In hindsight, I wish I’d hidden the picture, because now it’s gone and I rather liked it.  I could print another one, but maybe that would just show I’d missed the point.  Maybe it means I failed to accept her feelings about this one thing, and if so, isn’t it likely I failed the same way in other aspects of our life together?  And if so, isn’t this song that much worse?

Forgive me for venturing into melancholy, here.  I should be writing a Star Wars rap or something, so…maybe I should work on that instead of whining about my obvious failure as a husband.  Thanks for reading.  *smiles, but it doesn’t reach my eyes*

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