Category Archives: Game Related

Thoughts on #GamerGate (A Rap)

I thought I might
Write a rap about Gamer Gate
I’m trying to wrap my mind
Around all the gamer hate
I hope it can teach
Us all a lesson
But I don’t understand
Why people are obsessing
We’re all adults here
You don’t need my blessing
But I don’t like it
When people start to threaten
And don’t know the
Proper use of Caps Lock
It makes me kinda wish
Their computers would get padlocked
It’s like a modern-day
Case of Matlock
People starting digital brawls
Like they’re in back lots
Look, I get that some people
Hate Anita
But when I saw what was in M-games,
I couldn’t believe it
Truth be told,
I’m rather glad she told me
I was only playing games
For Everyone or for Teens
Often the violent reactions
Can reveal
A hatred that’s already in place
Not even concealed
If you don’t hate women
And you don’t hate men,
Then I don’t understand
Why there’s so much of an argument
Games have women
Engaging in prostitution?
I guess it’s all protected
By the Constitution
And to be real
We would be in bad shape
If the government decided
Not to keep it that way
I don’t think
We should be playing that game
But part of freedom
Is we’re meeting people halfway
And these are depictions
Of a world
Like our own–
Where worse things are done to real girls
The consequences
Are far more than digital
Pain and suffering
Both emotional and physical
So if you really want
To change the games
You’d better start by making sure
Real life is not the same


Personally, I find it
Rather scandalous
That the only decent girls in games
Are Peach and Samus
Or perhaps the girl
Pokemon Trainer
Or the girl explorer in Pikmin
Both arrived later
And I still think
It’s kind of shifty
That I can play as Ash
But can’t play as Misty
And a woman protagonist
Is nifty
But she doesn’t have to be
A bust size of triple-D
Let’s not forget about
Cammy and Chun Li
But Daisy has been marginalized
Like Waluigi
And it would probably be easy
To name thirty male heroes–
For ladies, barely three
Well, I guess
There’s always Dixie Kong
From DKC two and three
If I’m not wrong
And then there’s Zelda
When she’s dressed as Sheik
When she’s not pretending
To be male, then is she weak?
In Smash Brothers
There’s Palutena, Rosalina
Stuff like that
Could maybe soften our demeanor
And I think we’ll all
Recall forever
Heroines like Tifa,
Aerith, Yuna, and Terra
Well, maybe there are
Some good examples
On both sides of the debate
That we can handle
There’s Lara Croft
And there’s Bayonetta
And some are probably debating
Which lady’s shape is better
And for a while
This has been the case
They used scantily-clad women
To sell arcade games
And they still try to do it
Like it’s nothing
Game of War advertisements
Feature Kate Upton
Even something as simple
As Shantae
Are they using hot ladies
To get guys to play?
But they wouldn’t do that
If we don’t pay
Except we do pay–
And they’d still do it anyway
Games were made
For our escape
But they shouldn’t be a place
To participate in rape
Isn’t it strange
We would have an interest
In doing things
That are normally off-limits?
Like stealing cars,
Shooting cops in the head
And beating a woman in the street
Until she’s dead?
Well, I hope you know
That’s not real life
I wouldn’t want anyone to try
To do that to my wife


But if I try to make
A call for unity
I’m guessing there’ll be someone else
Talking about shooting me
My advice
To the game designers
Is to give more thought
To what you make for minors
Thankfully, there’s a
Game rating system
Designed to help customers
Make the best decisions
And to the parents
If you don’t like it
Use the power of your purse
And don’t buy it
And don’t allow your kids
To try it
Let them outside
And give them a proper diet
There are two words
That solve this whole thing:
One is “individual”
Two: “responsibility”
It’s sad to be
Gaining notoriety
For pointing out whatever’s wrong
With our society
If you want things
To change, then be change
There’s no possibility
That’s really out of range
And think about
The way you’re living
We have a lot to learn
About respecting women
And if a gamer girl
Is playing online
Can’t you just play
Not harass her all the time?
I’m sure it must
Hurt your pride
When a girl is playing your game
And whipping your behind
Sometimes you lose
That’s alright
My advice there is
Take it all in stride
Our daughters and sisters
Are all counting on us
Show ’em that you’re listening
Don’t start ’em to doubting you
And if you think this song
Is about you
Then know that good will win–
With you or without you
So come on gamers, unite
I’m just saying
Let’s keep gaming positive
And thanks for playing

Injustice: Rap’s Among Us (A Rap)

The Joker has an evil plan
To deal with Superman
Lois Lane and Metropolis
Both kick the can
Seeing the death of his true love
And Metropolis
Makes him wonder
Was there a way of stopping this
Joker is captured
And enraptured in his laughter
His sense of humor is sick
And Superman attacks him
And with one hand
Creates a new future
The Joker is killed
And Superman’s the new ruler
Because when power is used
It can consume you
And there’s no way to predict
What killing a man will do to you
It’s up to Batman
And a ragtag team of heroes
To stop Kal-El
From being the next Nero
Make sure you level up
And have enough energy
To take down hundreds of teams
Of three enemies
Injustice Mobile
Steadily going global
I go through the Challenges
To raise my totals
I’m not really a fan
Of pay-to-win
But my fingers can’t resist
The urge to play again

Chorus:
It’s Injustice: Rap’s Among Us
My mike is my stylus
Let’s find out who’s strongest
It’s Injustice: Rap’s Among Us
The fighting is wild
Only brave ones belong with us

How many times have I
Gotten a Booster Pack
And suddenly felt like
Kicking myself in the back?
Spent days trying to get
All the credits
And got two different Harley Quinns
Now instead of it
Well, who doesn’t like
Deranged cheerleaders
But in a fight, it’s often
Too easy to beat her
It’s bad enough
You do half the damage
Then they find some new way
To cause a disadvantage
Radiation or Countdown
Or no Super Move
Great! Now what am I
Supposed to do?
And for some reason I have
Seven Black Adams
Kind of surprised that there’s no
Captain Atom
But then again,
There’s Nightwing, not Robin
And half of the Rogues’ Gallery
Isn’t here from Gotham
Supergirl’s only here
As a support card
This game has likely ruined
A few report cards
“Spam the strong attack”
Said one dude on YouTube
I think I already know that
I’m not a noob, dude!
But who’s paying a hundred bucks
For credits
To get five characters at most?
Forget it!
It often makes me miss most
The old days
You paid for your game all at once
And hoped for snow days
Now it costs so much
You need a co-pay
There should be a
Gaming insurance company someday

(Chorus)

Injustice Game’s a metaphor
For raps among us
It’s about who pays the most
And not the strongest
It’s not about who can flow
Or rap the longest
It’s about seeing the trees
Instead of the forest
Without regard at all
For all the harm that
Can be caused when you
Ignore the flaws and all the wrong plans
So do yourself a favor, pal
And Stay Down
Otherwise it’s Death From Above
A flying roundhouse
Ground Sparks straight to your heart
And then you’re crying
A Trident Toss rips you apart
And then you’re dying
Just tag out
As proof I’m Powered By Fear
Heat Vision burns
You can’t block my power here
Cat Claws, Tricky Bat
A Turbine Smash
And your remains are in pain
I throw you in the trash
Hero Slayer
My Special is unblockable
A Man of Steel
When I feel I’m Unstoppable
I’m owning you
Like a new disciple
When I blow you apart
With a Kryptonian Rifle
The fight takes an Eye for an Eye
On Full Auto
Countless Deaths await my foes
And great sorrow
I step back and attack
With a Savage Blast
Amazonian Fury upon you
When you get me mad
You thought you had me
I rise from the grave
With ten times the damage
Attacking you in the face
You’ll meet complete defeat
And Fear Will Rise–
Oh, wait
“Injustice has stopped”
So never mind

(Chorus)

Animal Crossing: New Rap (A Rap)

One day I got off a train
And a second later
Creatures are surrounding me
Calling me Mayor
A bit surprised
Because I am the only human
And everybody seems to think
I know what I’m doing
It’s like an episode
Of Adventure Time
And so today I chose
To invent this rhyme
I’m starting out
Living in a tent
I notice there are no apartments
Left to rent
Which is good–
I see nobody stuck in tenements
It’s funny to see animals
Live the way we’re meant to
And what you knock off a tree
You can eat
And there are no homeless beggars
Sitting there in the streets
And you get paid well
For what you sell
You can trade a few peaches
For a few hundred Bells
And your assistant’s name is
Isabelle
Her name is appropriate–
She is a belle
It’s like a video game version
Of show and tell
And all you animals rapping
Wish you could flow as well

My wife, she does
Not know about my raps
She does know about my naps
She tells me I snore
And so I get
Nasal strips
Hope the problem is fixed
Yeah, right–I wish!
It’s not fixed–
I’d say it’s more a hit and miss!

It seems the best way to improve
Is time travelling
Speeding through the fifth dimension
Like a javelin
I got a leg up–
My wife played it in advance
Gave me enough Bells
And stuff to fill a mansion
Just today I bought a work shirt
But I used to wear the MVP with long sleeves first
Chose to pass on the lava lamp
Not enough room to store it inside my camp
Bought a net, bought a common bed
But only napped for 15 minutes, so I feel dead
Now I understand the Villager’s expression
Being a mayor can’t be an easy profession
And I get why this game becomes obsession
Each time I turn it off
I’m eager for next session
I haven’t even met that many people
And still I find I’m looking forward to the sequel
So far, I’ve planted a single tree
And gotten invited to a party on the 19th
And instead of enemies trying to fight me
I think this game is going to fill in nicely

My wife may not
Think that she is gorgeous
But she is my woman crush
Every day
Even when she is mean
If I interrupt her sleep
She’s a treat, truly sweet
She is someone I’m glad I got to meet!

It’s truly strange
That two days playing a game
Could inspire a few rap verses–
It’s insane
So now instead of
Looking for stuff to destroy I’m
Looking for bugs
On the island with Lloid–um,
He reminds me of a Cactuar
I’m sure I saw something like him
Back when I was Squall
But today I play a different role
I’m digging up the town
And searching for a new goal
And the Big Bros. hat is really Mario’s
And everywhere I go
In the evening shops already closed
So how am I to buy a new set of clothes?
I’m at work during the day
I take breaks to write my flows
You know, I rather like the jester’s mask
And I like how people are friendly when you ask
What’s the latest? Man, they’re the greatest
And the first-person shooter types probably hate this
Me? I’m thankful
It’s not very often
That I happen across a game
Like Animal Crossing
From agriculture to fish
To locating fossils
I’d say it’s possible
That this game might be awesome

My rhyming skills
Are quite frankly off the map
Yes, I know how to rap
A novice MC
So I’ve done my new flow
And it’s time for me to go
But I know–
Or I hope–
That you folks will
Come back for more
That you folks will
Come back for more!

Bow To Spark Man (A Song)

Lyrics inspired by the Mega Man III boss, Spark Man. Music from the game:

You may have noticed
That I control the voltage
And you have insulted me
I’m more than just a machine
I have a notion
To create an explosion
From electricity–
That would surely fix things

Chorus:
Because of electricity
Or call it eccentricity
I will make a new world
Minus all humanity
Is there a possibility
To cease all this hostility?
If you plan to bow to Spark Man
Then yes, certainly

I have the power
An electrical tower
So I can turn it off
And bring you all to your knees
So stand down, you cowards
Before things become sour
I can shut off all your fleets
Tear you apart with my teeth

[Chorus]

So now comes a blue man
With a cannon on his hand
And he hopes to challenge me
I’ll end him quite violently
What is it that you can’t
Understand, Mega Man?
I can overload your dreams
You have no chance to beat me

[Chorus]

Dr. Wily has his war
And I am his powerful core
I am endless energy
It comes from inside of me
So here’s what is in store
Since man was here before
I will shock them totally
Until they are all extinct

[Chorus]
I’ll repeat the words once again
I currently have other plans
I’ll charge into battle
I still have the upper hand
I’m made of plus and minuses
Obey is my requirement
All you have to do is
Bow to Spark Man

Off for a Princess (Parody song of Lana Del Rey’s ‘Off to the Races’)

My old man is a plump man, but
I can’t deny the way he saved my friends
From each castle,
What a hassle
But he did it without extra lives
He doesn’t mind I tend
To get kidnapped by
An army led by a reptilian guy
He slowly
Gets there for me
With his fire flower and his pipes

Swimming through rivers and oceans
Running past Hammer Brothers
With quick motions
When a Goomba shows up
He steps on it
I’d like to leave a green mushroom out
For him

Run for your life!
Grab all the coins!
Save me from Bowser
And show me you love me!
Run for your life!
Grab all the coins!
Get to the flagpole!
And get some more points!

And he’s off for a princess
In this
Classic NES set
Occasionally falling down
But he’s got to impress
This guest
Standing in a pink dress
‘Mario!’ she’s calling out
‘Bowser is crazy, baby
I’m in the castle number 8, please
I’m the one with peaches, secrets
Lined up so you reach this
Castle and then get me out
Waiting for you.’

My old man’s a plumber and
He smashes blocks with his
White-gloved hands
And he knows he
Must keep going
When Lakitu drops a spiny shell
He doesn’t buy that I’m a
Weak stereotype
He knows I’d gladly fight
Right by his side
And I’ll do it
We’ll get to it
On the second game
I float mid-air

He invites me to his
Smash Brothers, Parties
And Kart races
He can fly across space
And get Star Pieces
NES Remix
And NES Remix 2
He climbs a vine to heaven, too,
And

Runs for his life
Grabs all the coins
Saves me from Bowser
And shows me he loves me
Runs for his life
Grabs all the coins
Gets to the flagpole
And gets some more points

And he’s off for a princess
In this
Classic NES set
Occasionally falling down
But he’s got to impress
This guest
Standing in a pink dress
‘Mario!’ she’s calling out
‘Bowser is crazy, baby
I’m in the castle number 8, please
I’m the one with peaches, secrets
Lined up so you reach this
Castle and then get me out
Waiting for you.’

My old man has been beat
But I continue playing with him to the end
Have I seen this section
Of this castle before?
Just jump over those!
It’s a crazy maze!
Can he make it?
I don’t think this game’s
What they would buy without him
Who else is going to jump in the air this way?
A raccoon, a cat, too, even a cartoon?
There would be no games
If Nintendo was ever without you
You’re flying with your P-Wing on
Moustache right above your lips
I said, ‘Mar,
You’ve never looked three-dimensional
Like you do now, my man!’

And he’s off for a princess
In this
Classic NES set
Occasionally falling down
But he’s got to impress
This guest
Standing in a pink dress
He can do a spin jump now
‘Bowser is crazy, baby
I can’t count how often you save me
You are my one true love
You are such fun to love!
Oooooooooooooooh
O-oooooooooooooh
O-o-o-oooooooooh
You are such fun to love!’

The First Incision (Cutman’s Song)

So…it’s time for a Cutman song. I figured, since I wrote one for Gutsman, why not? Here goes:

Humans didn’t make the cut
Because they created us
This world needs surgery
And for that it will require expertise
I’m the one with steady hands
I will operate on man
They have become the cancer
To which I’m the answer,
Yes, I am the cure

There’ll be a transplant
Robots will replace the humans
I’ll initiate the plan
With the first incision

You claim that they are innocent
You think you can save all of them?
No, the diagnosis says
They must be eliminated instead
Of us–think of the alternative
If we let the humans live
They are afraid of us
No matter what we do
We’ll never gain their trust

There’ll be a transplant
Robots will replace the humans
I’ll initiate the plan
With the first incision

Their evil is their vanity
Their chaos and insanity
They’d have you kill your own
And then what will you do
Once you are all alone?
There’ll be no anesthetic
They must be disconnected
It’s simple evolution
An ingenious solution
We’re the cutting edge

There’ll be a transplant
Robots will destroy the humans
We’ll initiate the plan
I’m the first incision
And these gifted hands
Are fit to execute our new plan
They will all soon understand
I’m the first incision
I’m the first incision
I’m the first incision
Now!

Luigi Death Stare (Ridin’ Dirty Remix) – A Gaming Rap

I just had to write a song inspired by this new fixation on the Luigi Death Stare. This is a great time for me, as I always played as Luigi as a kid, being the younger brother. So, here we go…[music]

They always said I played second fiddle
So maybe you can figure out this riddle:
I’m rollin’ past you to first place
While you get sent back to the middle
Of the rest of this pack of wolves
I know you did the very best that you could
I got a blue shell, my hat reads ‘L’
So trust me when I say that I’m that good
Roll past you in the neighborhood
And time slows down as I go around you
I’ve been a headline since ‘Mario Is Missing!’
So what the shell took you this long to listen?
The Gold Cup’s mine so I shine
Doing a drive-by is my sole mission
And I mean that literally
The death stare is my glare
How else could it be?
Just accept it–you’re not as good as me
Year of Luigi till 2033
And beyond–you look up and I’m gone
So I look back as I pass your kart
You’re on Lap 5 and I’m 11
I’m on fire like the old Chris Evans
Flame on–we stay strong and stay gone
I could beat Sonic, I’m that fast–so game on

Chorus:
They see Luigi
And they hatin’
He does the stare-and-drive
With grace like figure-skatin’
Yes, he gives the Death Stare
While they still waiting
Tryin’ to catch him ridin’ dirty [repeat]

I got a mansion that I vacuumed twice
It stays fresh and clean–they say it’s so nice
Are you regrettin’ what you did with your life
So much that you gotta hate on mine?
‘Cause my flows shine, ’cause I’m so fine
‘Cause I sold a million and you sold dimes?
It’s just jealousy when you all yell at me
‘Cause you got no hope of outsellin’ me
From here to Tel Aviv
I’m a like a celery
Stay green and fresh just like a melon be
With new words attached to old melody
I stand the test of time like I’m Celebi
Went from cleanin’ pipes
To being king of life
Became a Superstar Saga overnight
Paper Mario? Now you sorry though
I’m straight legendary like Lucario
And no matter how fast your kart goes
I’m in first class and you still ridin’ coach
I can handle the hairpins, you’re too slow
One look at my stare and then you know
I was a DLC on New Mario
I think now you see that I can run the show

[Chorus]

Mirror image on an NES Remix
Extra challenging, you can’t beat this
You’d have to quit your job, become beatniks
I was never a character that was B-list
You got a flow, but you remain beatless
Winter is coming, but you remain heatless
My green fireball suddenly inspires all
They hashtag me suddenly–they liars all
Newcomers to Luigi’s bandwagon
I hit ’em with a Super Smash before they tag in
…And I can soar like dragons
While you look like something that the cat dragged in
So they thought I was a has-been
I danced with the stars as Nintendo cashed in
And while you wait for it to happen
I’m already past you, looking at your reaction
And afterwards I’m laughin’
Beneath the moustache and hat is deep passion
So I can be team captain
No question box about it–it’s a fact, man

[Chorus]

Man of Guts (Gutsman’s song) – Inspired by Mega Man music & The Megas

Image

I’ve enjoyed the songs that the Mega Man-themed group The Megas have written about the Mega Man mythology. 

(I have unfortunately not freed up the funds to get their latest History Repeating: Red album, but I most certainly will get it–that History Repeating: Blue album was spectacular, as was the Fly On A Dog single.  But I digress.) 

As I listened to their “Megatainment” album–a collaboration they did with Entertainment System–it occurred to me that it was awfully short.  I wondered why there were no songs for Gutsman or Cutman.  So I just decided to write one of my own, inspired by the Gutsman stage music and by the incredible body of work produced by The Megas.  In case you don’t know how that sounds:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOZgd8LA33A

So, here goes:

 

I was built to lift

This is my great gift

But now I have a mind

To live beyond these mines

Dr. Wily

Chose to confide in me

That it was my destiny

To destroy all things

To lift the robot race

Above the place of slaves

We will not serve humans

We deserve our own plans

 

I’m a Man of Guts

And I am strong enough

I will shake and toss

Humans are a lost cause

I’m a Man of Guts

So are you strong enough?

When I shake and toss

You’ll suffer your next loss

 

So enter my robot lair

If you so foolishly dare

The humans don’t even care

If robots feel pain there

I have seen them hurt

And give all their worth

Seen them scream and curse

The whole universe

I will end all men

And we’ll begin again

I’ll lift a robot sun

Of a new day begun

 

I’m a Man of Guts

And I am strong enough

I will shake and toss

Humans are a lost cause

I’m a Man of Guts

So are you strong enough?

When I shake and toss

You’ll suffer your next loss

 

And now that we rise up

The robots stand above

We’ll join hands to crush

Every man we touch

 

I’m a Man of Guts

And I am strong enough

I will shake and toss

Humans are a lost cause

I’m a Man of Guts

So are you strong enough?

When I shake and toss

Mega Man, you’re lost!

I’m Gutsman!

Game Boy Quarter – a rap tribute to Game Boy’s 25th anniversary

Well, I had this thought of a rap for Game Boy’s 25th anniversary, and the tune for the first level of Robocop for Game Boy came to mind, although I kind of imagine it with more of a beat and a little more energy…

So, anyway, here goes Game Boy Quarter:

Mario
And his 6 Golden Coins
No quarters needed
Just a cartridge to join
Get in where you fit in
Scorin’ Tetris points
It’s Ragnarok’s World of
Exaggerated joints
Don’t be afraid of
A Bart Simpson medley
A boy with a shot
Of Escape From Camp Deadly
And stay steady
With the aim like SolarStriker
Amazing and ready
Like a neighborhood Spider-
Man, trash-talking on a
Walkie-talkie
With the villain of the week
Like friends over coffee
It’s not color
But the screen is green
Flick the gray button
Let the game begin

Chorus:
Game Boy
Is a quarter of a century
Game Boy
You will always be a friend to me
Game Boy
Hold you up to the sun to see
It’s Game Boy
And no other is as fun to me
Game Boy
It’s a blast from the past
Game Boy
You can keep Dreamcast
Game Boy
Unrivaled in the cast
Game Boy
You were built to last

Gray and blocky
Can’t fit into my pocket
But your name and fame
Shootin’ off like a rocket
Oh, Game Boy Pocket
We simply can’t stop it
Inferior to Game Gear
Yet we still topped it
On a sunny day
I can’t see what you say
But that wouldn’t stop me
Playing games anyway
Battletoads being chased
By a giant brain
But wait–Mother Brain
Wasn’t in the second game
Super Game Boy
Makes for less hassle
From Wario Land to
Bugs’ Crazy Castle
Don’t know how
But I think I might’ve broken mine
And got a spare
So I could play ’em all a second time
A game of Chessmaster
Serves as stress blaster
Older than a PS4
But plays faster
Wonder how many
Played Ren & Stimpy
In between classes
And biting on a Blimpie
You may have lowered
My college GPA
But I still wouldn’t trade
A second of gameplay
Fall of the Foot Clan
And Back from the Sewers
Super Mario Land
And Batman, too, ’cause it’s

[Chorus]

No downloadables
No need for updates
You got what you paid for
And it played so great
Your save game
Was called the Start button
And four Double-As in the back
Were worth something
Remember the attachments?
Magnifying glass
Lights on the side
And stereo blasts?
It was classic
So it really didn’t matter
Like Space Invaders
And extra Kong chapters
Everybody loved Game Boy Color
The birth of Pokemon
We all watched and wondered
Now the game’s changed
And Starmie uses Thunder
It’s like Damian Wayne
Is now the Boy Wonder
It’s an icon
Portable game legend
Twenty-five years
And still in my collection
So I decided to write
A rhyming verse or three
To say Game Boy,
Happy anniversary

[chorus]

Bricklayer, a gaming rap of sorts, I dare say

Anyone remember that game on Mac (well, I played it on Mac, at least), called Bricklayer? It was a clone of Tetris, but the music in my mind was quite memorable.

I’ve been thinking about chip hop ever since discovering Mega Ran’s excellent music (see megaranmusic.com for that one). I used to do a few Star Wars raps in my day, years ago, myself. Nothing official, of course, but I had a blog where I’d post them. Mostly I’d take music from popular rap songs and just put my own Star Wars related lyrics in it, not unlike a Weird Al Yankovic of sorts…

With that in mind, here’s what I came up with, for a song I call ‘Bricklayer’, with the music from that game in mind:

Bricklayer
Is a Mac clone of Tetris
You flip through the pages for answers
And getting desperate
You’re like a subject
Without a predicate
Or a guest at the table
Without etiquette
You checked quick
And got two moves until you’re mated
Wow, that was fast
We barely even dated
Restated:
You are in a very bad position
Created
By your insistence on rap revision
So I look back
For answers as we head forward
Like in Myst
I think the answer is around the corner

Chorus:
I got the paper to take you
I don’t fake on the haters
I’ll take the time to explain it
And you can think on it later
I got the paper to take you
I don’t fake on the haters
My rhymes so perfect in placement
They fit just like in Bricklayer

I’m bringing Doomsday
Ultimate Liftoff
I’m like the hands of fate
In a Double Dribble tipoff
Like Batman Forever
Your Kombat is a ripoff
I’m like Chun Li
I’ll step on your head and flip off
But it’s not a race
‘Cause I’m already gone like Sonic
I’m first place
And you wiped out like Mawhonic
If you don’t know who that is
Then watch the podrace
It’s like a Star Wars
Need for Speed car chase
But that’s more than enough of
Braggadocio
It’s time to explain the reason
Behind my chosen flow
The polar vortex and Mr. Freeze
Can’t freeze my dough
I get it fresh out the oven
Just like a donut hole

[Chorus]

Second verse
It’s hilarious like ARROW’D II!
I’m taking down challengers
Like I’m in Wrecking Crew
I used to play that game
Back when I had chicken pox
But no one knows my name
I’m hidden like a treasure box
But when you open me up
I give out bonuses
I’m like a Toad House
Sort of like a Chozo is
But like the latter
I’ll stand up on a bad day
And we can battle
Like in Super Smash Melee
A strong knee or two or three
You’ll spit your lunch out
It’s too predictable
To jab you like in Punch-Out!!!
A Nuclear Knuckle
And you Kiss My Fist
Then I Take Out the Trash
Boot you out of my business
You tried to stomp me like Big Blag
I’ll chomp ya
Then put your Gil in a big bag
With your armor
You lack experience points
You and your hunting party
I’ll send you back to the past
Like you were Biff and Marty

[Chorus]

So when you rap against me
You’d best bring much ammunition
Bring the Roget’s Thesaurus
The latest Webster’s edition
It’s like on Oregon Trail
You’d best bring all your provisions
You tried to ford this rap river
And then you wagon was tippin’
My lyrics can be insane
Or perhaps they’re merely different
It’s like NBA 2K
Without both Jordan and Pippen
It’s like we’re at the arcade
We all join without permission
It takes two quarters to play
And there is no intermission
And if the goal of this game
Is to make the best decisions
Then I will choose to remain
In other words I’ll Continue