Tag Archives: Poetry

Still in Pain

Feels like we both
Want to blame ourselves
Reiterate all
Of the ways we failed
And we couldn’t endure
The storms at sea
Shipwrecked, watching you
Float away from me

The weight of our tears
Makes the oceans rise
I can feel you here
If I fantasize
Our fingertips they touch
As they begin release
But is the end of love
Really a relief?

So we drift away
Because you wouldn’t stay
And face the rain
And yet we’re still in pain
So we drift away
A little more each day
I can feel the change
And yet we’re still in pain

And maybe all my dreams
Conceal the silent screams
Over all we lost
As I turn and toss
I wonder what it means
What remains unseen
Is the future of
What would’ve been our love

“I haven’t been able to
Tell you everything.
I don’t think words could express
The warmth of your caress
And the brief rays of light
Of our happiness.
I kept too much inside,
Hidden from you,
You, the one I treasured most.
I have loved you,
And I love you still.
Although you are gone,
I always will.
Hold onto the pieces of me
That you can.
A kiss.  A moment in the moonlight.
I should’ve held you tighter
That last time.
If you were going to go,
It’s the least I could do.
I’m sorry I didn’t give enough.
Wherever you go now,
I gave the best years of me
To you.”

And maybe all my dreams
Conceal the silent screams
Over all we lost
As I turn and toss
And maybe what you need
Can never come from me
But I hope you find it
I’ll always be reminded
Of you

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Put Your Flags Down For Me

I just barely got here
And I’m screaming
Full of hopes and of fears
And things to believe in
Look to you and you fill me
With teachings
Then I look at your life
And what am I seeing?

Well, hopefully,
What I’m hoping to see
Put your flags down
For me

Tell me is the past
More vital than the future?
Is what could be
Less to you than what it used to?
The questions I ask
Are because I’m planning
And the world that we have
I am not understanding

Well, hopefully,
What I’m hoping to see
Put your flags down
For me

I’m not asking for
Global world order
But love shouldn’t end
At our borders
They’re people just like
You and me
Neighbors just under
A different tree
Just wanting to be

This is about our children
We can teach them our skills, then
We can give them new dreams
And watch them fulfill them
This is not about banners
It’s about what matters
Because we won’t have to
See what comes after
But they will
I hope they can still

Well, hopefully,
What I’m hoping to see
Put your flags down
For me
Most importantly,
What I hope it will be
Join your hands now
For me

Fear and Living (Live In 4-D)

You might look good
When you’re on paper
But paper tigers don’t
Get fed from the table
So keep your eyes sharp
If you’re able
And don’t turn your back
In the field like Abel
‘Cause brothers love
Taking people out
Trust is an illusion
Erase all your doubts
Try to learn
What this game is about
Life gives you one Hit Point
For the bout
And taking shelter
Will not be allowed
Naps get disturbed
By every noise I’ve heard
Because they built our homes
Like hollow boxes
Every day a different smell
That may be toxic
Though I’ve got no choice
About dozing
It feels just as scary
As leaving my doors open

I got a knock on the door
As I’m dreaming
It’s three a.m.
Do my ears now deceive, then?
There’s a lone cop
Outside my apartment
Open it or not,
I might still be shot, and
I’m also there
In my underwear,
And I almost forgot
Because I was that scared
Turns out
They were at the wrong place
But I saw her reaching
For the piece and now I’m shaken
It could be that easy
To be taken
From this earthly plane and
All from a mistaken
Address,
And how such easy access
To the power to end life
Exists is madness
I want to give
The benefit of the doubt
When I’m in my own shoes
I find myself without it

I’m not here
With a social message
I’m not the type of person
To give the life lessons
But what I said above–
A true story
I’ll never know how many
Close calls before me
I feel worse
For my son, though
I gave him a life
In a world where the gun votes
And all opposed
Never get a second option
Daring to hope
Gets you holes from a shotgun
And then you’re dead and forgotten
A name on a plaque
As your skin’s turning rotten
If you can read this,
You’re still here
But the bad news is
That you’re living in some fear
Can’t fight, can’t run
Can’t talk
If you go a little mad
Then I can’t say it’s your fault
Because this world is a tin
Full of mixed nuts
Nobody wins
Very few get what they want
And life should have a sign
Out front:
Better luck next time
Sorry–it’s your last one

 

The Hermit–An Unexpected Rhyming

My life was nice like the first chapter
Of a book
There and Back Again
Not much was happening
Life was like a
Box of chocolates–
‘Cause I know what I like
They were all the same type
And
There was peace
Never needing to speak
It was okay–
I concede being least
Had a moment of need
To disagree
Turned into a decade
Of people missing me
Shortly after
Emotional distance
Never let me get past
Cognitive dissonance
And all the hurt could
Get lost like Mirkwood
Lived under curse
Without cause, I did good
Gave up
A lot of things I could’ve done
Made up
When I really thought I should’ve run
Now the trail of fear
Is ahead of me
Nothing feels clear
Will it get the best of me?

My head hits the desk
Before it gets to rest
And disinterest
Replaced the obsession
In the mirror I see
My trangressions
Still there’s forgiveness
From the learned lessons
History doesn’t work
In our favor
The good we do now
Will be forgotten later
Not much incentive
For behavior
When the rules are
Abandoned by betrayers
But the world
Doesn’t owe me any favors
That’s just the nature
Of life’s many flavors
Sometimes it’s bittersweet
Sour and incomplete
Sometimes it’s salty
Jacked up and faulty
I’ll never forget
That night she called me
Told me some things
I found quite appalling
But I’ve got to move
Past her now
Because time didn’t slow
It’s moving much faster now
Feels like
Life is halfway done
And we run the clock out
At the point of a gun

I’m still reeling
Don’t know what to feel and
I can’t relate it
Can’t even reveal it
So much gone now
And so little finished
Still find my life goals
Close to the beginning
Stories started and plotted
Then abandoned
My family’s gone
Because I took them for granted
I didn’t see my son’s
First day of school
Hurts me so bad
I don’t know what to do
And it’s a desperate search
For how to cope
In the darkest of shadows
There’s some kind of hope
And I don’t know
How the story ends
“Happily ever after”
To “Let’s just be friends”
And sometimes
I want to be like Hosea
Go get her back
And forgive the failures
And other times
I want to be a player
But I was never in the game
So I just stay there
In a chair,
And staring at my comics
As if I can ever
Escape all my conflicts
Waiting for my ship
To come sailing
A one-way trip
Away to Grey Havens
Until then
I’m stuck with all the hurt
And hoping for a way
To find what I deserve

 

Open Mic, 7-12-17

I don’t want
This silence anymore
Until I get
What this moment is for
I think that fully half
Of life is gone
The only thing I have left
Is wrong
All the things I did wrong

On my birthday
All I get are e-mails
From companies
That just want to make sales
I wonder, should
It mean something to me?
I don’t know yet
Of who I am to be
Who am I to be?

I’m lonely here
But no one noticed me
My wife still calls
From deep in Tennessee
My heart is in
A big tail spin away
A garden is
Not meant for withering
It should be growing things

I want someone
To care for me
Tenderly
Be there for me
Intimately
And carefully
Tend the hurts
And share my dreams

Perhaps I’m
Too rough around the edges
And then I’ve
Fallen from too many ledges
In life
Too many regrets and
Too much to forget and
Too much left unsaid that
Led to less fulfillment

One day I’ll leave
And then there’ll be
No one to say these words
I’ll never be
Completely free
Until I’m truly heard

Lonely thirty-something man
Seeks something he can’t understand
Something he can’t really have
A love that for once really lasts
Love
Isn’t that a laugh?

But I think I’ve said
Enough today
I’ll turn around
And walk away

High Society

We’ll shop in the districts, baby
There’s no window shopping cart for me
I’ll drown you in kisses, maybe
I’ll make you see visions, probably
We’re driving my car, dangerous
My heart’s in a race it can’t complete
I’ll make you say, “Baby, yes!
I want you in first place here with me.”

We could live like kings and queens
Just imagine how perfect it would be
And I’ll be your princess,
Your lover, your mistress
High society
With a love like me
You know you’ll never need anything
And I’ll be like Christmas
Your gift wrapped in this dress
High society

I fell asleep on your heart last night
I’m reckless and passionate, it seems
There’s nothing in my life I like
But chasing after the latest things
But you’re my diamonds, baby
With you on my arm I’m sparkling
You might think I’m lying, maybe
But you are the gentleman for me

We could live like kings and queens
Just imagine how perfect it would be
And I’ll be your princess,
Your lover, your mistress
High society
With a love like me
You know you’ll never need anything
And I’ll be like Christmas
Your gift wrapped in this dress
High society

And I still want more
It’s like you opened my double doors
And what you’re waiting for
Is everything you deserved before
You and I will soar
‘Cause you’re the perfect score
I’m loving what’s in store
With you I’m never bored

We could live like kings and queens
Just imagine how perfect it would be
And I’ll be your princess,
Your lover, your mistress
High society
With a love like me
You know you’ll never need anything
And I’ll be like Christmas
Your gift wrapped in this dress
High society

 

Commentary:

I have no idea where this one came from, but it popped into my head so I wrote it down.  I was somewhat thinking of the seductive nature of a credit card, personified, but then it kind of took off from there.  I tried writing from the woman’s point of view this time, obviously a rich woman, unless perhaps that’s symbolic.  You could look at it that way.  I really wanted to write something new, since it felt like I hadn’t posted anything in awhile.  Well, thanks for reading.

Lessons of Love

I have been in love
Yes, more than once
But never found
Just what I want
It’s not in her eyes
Or in a kiss
Now I see there’s
So much more than this
Because love is not
What you can see
It’s about what you
Do really need

Yet love is strong
And I am weak
There’s so much more
For it to teach
I only hope
That I can learn
And this time find
What I deserve

It’s in her voice
And in her laugh
With her I can
Forget the past
When we talk it’s like
Time becomes lost
And nothing else
Is worth my thoughts
It’s about more than
Holding her hand
It’s knowing that
She understands

Yet love is strong
And I am weak
There’s so much more
For it to teach
I only hope
That I can learn
And this time find
What I deserve

So quietly
How love unfolds
As morning dew
Makes flowers grow
When it happens
I suppose I’ll know
And when I do
I’ll tell her so
If the stars will shine
On me this time
I know that I
Will treat her right

Yet love is strong
And I am weak
There’s so much more
For it to teach
I only hope
That I can learn
And this time find
What I deserve

The Greatest Lie

Love is a series
Of stops and starts
Till it stops your heart
Love isn’t really
What you think you’ve got
No, it’s really not
Love is a trick of
The best of you
Then the rest of you
Love is what I’m sick of
An obsession too
How it stresses you

Love is the greatest lie
Of them all
Without it no one would cry
As they fall
Love causes more problems
Than it solves
They say it’s the greatest time
But they’re wrong

Love is a liar
It says, “Listen, here’s
What you want to hear.
Nothing’s required–
Except your life
Everything inside.”
Love is an illness
It poisons you
Tells you what to do
Wish I could kill it
That’s why I’m going to
Be avoiding you

Love is the greatest lie
Of them all
Without it no one would cry
As they fall
Love causes more problems
Than it solves
They say it’s the greatest time
But they’re wrong

Why do I keep coming back to you
When I don’t have the right attitude?
I won’t believe the sweet platitudes
My heart is still chasing after you
I’d rather meet love with my head
So I see the dangers ahead
But all of that’s supposed to be gone
From now on

Love is the greatest lie
Of them all
Without it no one would cry
As they fall
Love causes more problems
Than it solves
They say it’s the greatest time
But they’re wrong

Junk Mail

I’m done with the day
Then I see your name
When I open the mailbox
And it’s back again
Like it was the same
It’s not like I really forgot
My heart is in shreds
And our love is dead
And yet here this envelope torments me
You’re still in my head
The words that you said
But I don’t think you could forgive me
And you decided to set sail
You should have taken all your mail

I almost
Want to forward
Your junk mail
To you
I know it’s
Not a problem
It’s something
To do
I almost
Want to forward
Your junk mail
To you

It gathers in piles
It has for awhile
I guess they never got the message
My heart would go wild
When I saw your smile
And even now I don’t regret it
You changed up the story
Now your territory
Is all uprooted and everywhere
Put yourself before me
And then you destroy me
But maybe in hindsight it’s fair
And you decided to set sail
Without you these walls feel like jail

I almost
Want to forward
Your junk mail
To you
I know it’s
Not a problem
It’s something
To do
I almost
Want to forward
Your junk mail
To you

It’s moments like these that I fail
How love can burn down to the tiniest detail
Why couldn’t they just send e-mail
Instead of leaving me this brokenhearted trail?

I almost
Want to forward
Your junk mail
To you
I know it’s
Not a problem
It’s something
To do
I almost
Want to forward
Your junk mail
To you
To you
To you
I want to forward it
To you
To you
I’d forward your junk mail

 

My Last Life

On our summer breeze
Love is sweet for you and me
In everything I please you
And every day I need you
Loving you is treasure
Joyful beyond measure
I don’t want to see
A world where you can’t be
With you my life is better
Like water in the desert

I’ll spend my last sunset
With you
I’ll have no regrets
I choose
To spend my last life here
With you

In the winter storms you’re
The one who keeps me warmer
When you hold me closer
The time, it goes much slower
And our love grows stronger
Even with our faults or
Arguments we lost and
Even with the problems
With you life is simple
You give so much to live for

I’ll spend my last sunset
With you
I’ll have no regrets
I choose
To spend my last life here
With you

No matter the season
Or the reason
Your love, it keeps pleasing
You make me believe with
Just a little squeeze and
You make my heart keep on beating
I feel like I’m dreaming
And you’re all I’m seeking
I promise I’ll never be leaving
You
What I wouldn’t
Do

I’ll spend my last sunset
With you
I’ll have no regrets
I choose
To spend my last life here
With you
To spend my last life here
Will do

 

Commentary:

This song is not inspired by any real events, given that my wife left me fairly recently, but I had the idea for it, so I wrote it.  It must be nice to be loved this way.  I wish I’d loved her this way, but clearly I didn’t, or she’d still be here.

Moving right along…I see this song as a duet, perhaps with each person taking two of the lines in turn.  I’m sure someone more musically inclined could put it to music.  If anyone ever does put any of my songs to a tune, I’d love to hear it–this has always been about making the art for me, not recognition.  In the meantime, perhaps I need to learn to play an instrument…But thanks for reading.  Hope you enjoyed it.